Author Archive for Slick Tiger



11
Oct
13

A Playlist To Sink Your Weekend Teeth Into

Tiger eating meatThere is fucking amazing music being created at the moment, anyone who tells you otherwise has no idea what the hell they’re talking about and you probably shouldn’t hang out with them anymore.

“But where do I find all this cool music Papa Slick?” I hear you ask in desperation. Well, I have my methods but they involve a shit-ton of sifting through music sites and listening to rubbish before I strike gold.

Good news is when that happens, I put all my best finds together into badass playlists like the one that follows below and all you have to do is kick back, click “play” and let the good times roll muthufukkah!

You will find some old favourites with new shit in this list like my buddies The Hives, QOTSA, Nine Inch Nails, Vampire Weekend and Franz Ferdinand but then I’ve thrown some nice fresh stuff in here you’ve never heard before – killer tracks from CHVRCHES, Daughn Gibson, Lord Huron, Howler and a bit of local flavour with PHFAT.

Dig it:

 

Dark and Light from SlickTiger on 8tracks Radio.

 

Have a radass weekend boys and girls! See ya’ll on the other side.

-ST

10
Oct
13

This Is The End Bloopers Reel Might Be Funnier Than The Actual Movie

1170481 - The End Of The WorldI watched This Is The End recently and couldn’t help but think that the entire movie was probably born out of a marathon bong session between Seth Rogan, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Danny Mcbride and Craig Robinson.

Emma Watson might have joined in at some stage, but not for a bong. She probably just smoked a tight, reverse-rolled toothpick of a joint, giggled for an hour and passed out elbows-deep in a bag of Cheetos.

If you plan to watch that movie and not smoke weed, you’re a damn fool. J-Rab and I went that route and half-way in were like, “Wow. This is very shit.” Then I found the bloopers reel.

This is probably funny even if you haven’t seen the movie, but if you have, it’ll give you a lot of insight into how it was made and confirm the fact that all this movie is is a bunch of friends dicking around and doing ridiculous shit because they’re famous and they can.

Enjoy!

 

 

Swear to God, if my buddies and I got together and made a movie, it would probably turn out exactly like this.

Which means I don’t really have a leg to stand on in terms of criticising it in any way.

Also, it has the best ending to any dumbass, over-the-top stoner movie I think I’ve ever seen.

-ST

09
Oct
13

My Thoughts On The End Of Breaking Bad

HeisenbergIt was with a mixture of anticipation, excitement and sadness that I watched the finale of Breaking Bad a few weeks back.

I loved that show because it was impossible to predict what was going to happen next. The writers of the show are unbelievable story-tellers and their grasp of character development and dialogue is equal to none.

Except maybe The Wire. In fact, I’d say that The Wire and Breaking Bad are probably my two best TV series of all time, so you better believe watching the final episode play out the other night was emotional.

But did it work? Did it manage to do the impossible and end one of TVs most popular series in a satisfying way that was true to the characters and the show?

That’s a tough question to answer. As a general rule, there is no good way to end a TV series as tight as Breaking Bad for the simple reason that everyone watching is going to be bummed that it’s over.

I definitely felt that after the final episode ended. This feeling of “Huh… so that’s that…” And while I think they tied up the series neatly at the end and did manage to provide a satisfying ending a part of me still wanted to see more.

 

 

It was only after two days spent reflecting on the show’s ending that I picked up on the subtle nuances of that final episode, all of which were deliberately underplayed to heighten their impact.

What follows are a whole bunch of SPOILERS! that you probably shouldn’t read if you haven’t seen the final episode yet. You have been warned.

The central theme of Breaking Bad was just that, Walter White’s decline from being a normal, repressed, law-abiding cog in the machine to becoming a ruthless drug lord in charge of a multi-million dollar meth ring.

It’s the zero to hero story turned on its head because in this instance, Walt’s “hero” status is won at the expense of everyone he supposedly loves. His family is made to suffer directly as a result of his growing lust for power and don’t even get me started on the multitude of fucked up things he puts Jesse through.

Over the course of the show, he grows to become a master manipulator and uses his vastly superior intellect (“Science bitch!”) and his growing ruthlessness to murder the fuck out of anyone who stands between him and his ultimate goal, “looking after his family”.

 

 

We realise early on in the series (pretty much around the time he is given a clean bill of health following his chemo) that his motivations have gone far beyond just looking after his family and he’s starting to get into some pretty fucked up shit purely for the thrill of it.

Eventually, Walt becomes a monster. His humanity hangs by a thread that frays more with each episode and good people start getting killed all around him as a result.

Then we get to the second last episode where things get so out of control that Walt opts to disappear completely and contacts the “vacuum cleaner salesman” who sets him up with a new identity and a cabin in the woods 8 miles from civilisation where Walt lays low for awhile.

One month later the change in Walt is immediately noticeable. The boiling rage that used to drive him has simmered down and, left with nothing but time to reflect on the damage he’s caused, he’s become a shell of the person he used to be.

 

 

The combination of isolation and his fading health leaves him completely ravaged. For the first time in god knows how many episodes, I actually felt a distant twinge of sympathy for him.

This was amplified when he breaks the golden rule of not leaving the cabin and heads to the nearest bar to call his son. He tries to convince Walt Jnr to accept some money from him, but Walt Jnr basically tells Walt to get fucked. Walt calls the police shortly thereafter and turns himself in.

Of course, this sympathy disappeared completely in the final minutes of the episode when Walt watches an interview on the bar’s TV with his former partners from Grey Matter, Elliot and Gretchen. In the interview they publicly state that they are donating millions of dollars to meth relief programs in order to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were not involved with Walt’s criminal dealings in any way.

That boiling rage that consumed Walt instantly returns, as does our lack of sympathy with him. It’s clear that nothing has changed. “Heisenberg”, the monster that Walt has become, is still alive and kicking and itching for some kind of revenge.

 

 

He flees the bar before the cops can get there to presumably track Elliot and Gretchen down and enact some kind of brutal revenge on them.

In light of this, the final episode is a master stroke of storytelling because it overthrows expectations completely.

Walt does track Elliot and Gretchen down, but it isn’t to do something terrible to them. He asks for them to put all his meth money in a trust fund for Walt Jnr. He knows that they will be beyond scrutiny and that that’s the only way he’ll be able to ensure that his family is looked after.

Sure, he threatens their lives if they don’t carry out his wishes, saying he’s hired two of the best hitmen money can buy to make sure they keep their word (at which point, two laser sights are shone on Gretchen and Elliot. But his intentions are still pure and the laser “sights” are just laser pointers he’s paid Skinny Pete and Badger to shine when he gives the signal, the “hitmen” he’s hired is just a bluff.

 

 

The part of the episode that really saved Walt for me though was when he confronts Skyler, now living in a shit-hole house, and confesses to the location of Hank’s body so that Skyler can use that information to negotiate a plea deal with the prosecutor and DEA.

The dialogue that follows, for me, was some of the best in the series.

“Skyler,” Walt says, “all those things I did, you need to understand…”

“If I have to hear one more time,” Skyler replies, furious, “that you did this for the family…”

“I did it for me,” Walt replies. “I liked it. I was good at it. And I was really… I was alive…”

 

 

A kind of acceptance washes over Skyler, a kind of resignation. Instead of losing it completely at Walt’s confession, she nods, smiles sadly at him and, after agreeing to let him see his baby daughter one last time, watches him shuffle out of her life forever.

The other highlight of the final episode was undoubtedly the brilliantly executed and brutally satisfying revenge Walt takes on Jack and the members of his piece-of-shit gang. Watching the remote controlled M60 that Walt jury rigs from the parts of a garage door opener mow all those fuckers down was a “Fuck yeah!” moment equal to none.

Walt achieves his final redemption in that moment when he not only saves Jesse but also executes Jack (who, despite getting shot to shit, is somehow still alive when the M60 runs out of bullets). It’s a great scene – Jack picks up his still-lit cigarette, puts it back in his mouth calm-as-can-be and starts trying to bribe Walt with all the money they stole from him.

 

 

Walt doesn’t even let him finish his sentence before putting a bullet in his head.

And so it was not without a large degree of satisfaction that I watched the final scene play out when Walt limps nostalgically around the meth lab Jack’s gang had set up while he slowly bleeds out from a stray bullet he caught in the ribs.

The cops arrive moments after Walt collapses dead, with the ghost of a smile on his weathered face.

 

 

It was a great show, possibly one of the best I’ve ever seen, and though there was no easy way to end it, they managed to accomplish the impossible and have Walt die a good and honourable death.

To everyone who made the show possible, every one of you did an excellent job.

Now if anyone needs me, I’ll be tracking down my old highschool chemistry teacher… Winking smile

-ST

07
Oct
13

Escape Monday: Banksy’s Most Iconic Work

banksy-painted-charles-manson-as-a-hitchhiker-on-a-london-street-corner-in-2005I realised when putting this post together that I know pretty much nothing about the street artist who calls himself “Banksy” other than the fact that he calls himself “Banksy” and he’s a street artist.

Turns out that the guy is pretty secretive though so I immediately felt better about not knowing more about him. Also, apparently he’s been doing street art for 20 years now.

That blew my mind a little as I only remember finding out who he was and seeing his work about five years ago, but this guy’s been giving the finger to the man for some time now and has built up a pretty awesome body of work in that time.

Check it out:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there’s this elephant that he painted for a secret exhibition he hosted:

 

 

So yeah. Fuck the system yo!

Good chat. Shall we go back to work now?

Excellent.

-ST

02
Oct
13

The Best Kind Of Superheroes

HulkyIf you are lightning-fast, you would have read a post that went up on this site earlier that is no longer here. I had to immediately remove it when a loyal reader pointed out that I was being an ignorant arse.

The post in question featured a superhero and here’s where the story gets interesting. The minute I posted it, the kids from Retroviral sent me an email with the video below that also features superheroes.

These guys are on the ball. They are basically reading the entire internet all the time. I immediately agreed to post this campaign video for M-Net Movies Showcase on the site. Also, it’s an awesome video, check it:

 

 

Nice feel good stuffs right there. Simple idea well executed.

Nice one Retroviral kids! Especially the dude playing The Hulk. You could see he was classically trained.

-ST

01
Oct
13

Expectation Vs Reality: The Toad That Wasn’t

nurse-expectation-vs-realityAs some of you guys may know, I recently became a dad, which now means that I have changed things up from handling about 30% of the duties around the house to 80%.

I have no issue whatsoever with this marked increase in householdly responsibility because of the simple fact that J-Rab is on baby duty 100% of the time. It’s a full-time job and one that she’s way, way better at than me.

My evening routine now consists of baby-washing, dish-washing, food-preparing, food-eating, general tidying and occasionally clothes-washing, clothes-drying, clothes-folding and clothes-putting-awaying.

From time to time though, colossal fuck-ups creep up on you just to add a little extra spice into the already spluttering, boiling, churning cauldron of responsibilities, deadlines and daddy-duties that becomes your life.

Last night I decided to try a new recipe. It was for “Toad-In-The-Hole”. I know, that should have been my first clue right? Don’t try to make recipes that inspire mental images of slimy amphibians lurking underground.

I ploughed on regardless though because as it turns out, the “Toad” from the recipe title is not a toad at all, but rather a pork banger and hoo-weee! I LOVES me some pork bangers!

 

 

So I gathered all the ingredients and began.

Step 1 was to fry the sausages which I excelled at. Step 2 was to sieve flour into a mixing bowl and make a “well” in the centre, which I also thoroughly enjoyed doing. Making wells is fun, like when you’re a kid at the beach.

Distant alarm bells began ringing in my head regarding the depth of my well in relation to the large quantity of eggs (eight) I’d be cracking into it, but I dismissed them entirely because so what if the well overflows a little? No biggie right?

I got cracking (da dum. Tssh). By egg no. 2 my well was starting to take strain. There are Kardashians deeper than my well was. There are inspirational Facebook quotes deeper than my well was. By no one’s standards was the well I had created deep in any way.

 

 

Egg no. 3 was the first to schloomf out of the well and make a total mockery of everything I was trying to achieve. Eggs 4 – 8 just rubbed more salt in the wound and left me wandering why I’d even bothered with a well in the first place.

I threw in the rest of the ingredients and began in earnest to whisk it, thus forming a “smooth batter”.

At first, things seemed to be going well. I found it a little tricky to get the yellows of the eggs to pop but eventually managed and was left with a pleasant, runny, light-yellow mixture.

The “runny” part was bothering me though. Where on God’s green earth was the flour?

I decided to change my whisking technique from shallow circling to deep-thrusting and immediately wished I hadn’t.

The flour came bobbing to the surface in gigantic lumps like bodies from a capsized boat. God help you if your batter reaches this point. This is the point of no return for batter. Nothing, nothing you do will get those motherfucking lumps out of the motherfucking batter.

Being the eternal optimist (hopeless tard) that I am, I opted for the “smooshing” technique which involves smearing the lumps up against the side of the mixing bowl with a tablespoon.

I had marginal success using this method, but after a solid 10 minutes of smooshing, the batter was still lumpy as month-old milk left in the sun.

 

 

It was then that I had the genius idea to re-strain the batter through a sieve, thus catching all the lumps which I then pulverised with the whisk. This worked like a mother-flippin’ BOMB. Feel free to try it if you ever have lumpy batter issues, it’s too legit.

From there I got a baking pan-thing ready, added the BANGERS (hoo-wee!) and batter and shut that bad boy in the oven at 220 degrees, as per the recipe.

It said to give it 10 minutes, then turn the heat down to 180, but after 5 minutes I became acutely aware that the batter was growing into some kind of hellish creature because it’s upper appendages were reaching so high, they were burning on the element at the top of the oven.

This didn’t look right. My batter was doing things that could give a small child nightmares. An intervention / exorcism was necessary. I called J-Rab.

“What the shit is going on here?” I asked. “Is this normal?”

“Um, I think so… looks like it’s ready, you should probably take it out.”

“But the recipe says bake for 10mins at 220, then 25 – 30mins at 180. It’s only been six minutes.”

“Ok. Then leave it in a bit longer, but definitely turn the heat down, I think the smoke’s going to asphyxiate the baby.”

So I turned it down, moved the baking tray as far down in the oven as possible so as not to inhibit the growth of the “Toad’s” upper appendages and hoped for the best.

Yeah. Here’s how that turned out:

 

 

Let’s just do a quick side-by-side comparison shall we?

 

 

What was great about my recipe was that the centre was still all soft and gooey, so it served the dual function of being supper and dessert.

What I ended up with was more of a “pork banger soufflé” than a “toad-in-the-hole”, but it was still edible if you count being able to chew and swallow something as “edible”.

The lesson here kids is that reality very seldom lives up to expectation.

The other lesson is that if you’re making toad-in-the-hole, the toad should never sit in more than two inches of hole.

See what I did there?

Me neither.

-ST

30
Sep
13

Escape Monday: Jaw-Dropping Landscape Photography

Lukas-Farlan-Photography-14-640x425It’s so funny that of all the things I’ve started on this site, all the features and crazy shit I’ve tried to keep up, the two posts that just keep on giving are “Escape Mondays” and “Friday LOLZ”.

They’ve probably endured for so long because hardly any effort is required from my side to bang these puppies out, but I like to think they still add some kind of value to you guys, my loyal readers.

What you’re about to see are a whole bunch of photos from Lukas Farlan who, believe it or not, is a flippin student living in Italy who has an incredible eye for landscape photography.

Here are some examples of his stuff:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beyatiful!

Now back to the grind ya lazy bum Winking smile

-ST

27
Sep
13

Friday LOLZ – Sleep Deprived Edition 2

insomnia-strugglesThere are bad nights, there are worse nights and there are nights when you have a newborn baby that cries off and on from the moment you get home until 3am.

You think you’ve handled stressful situations? Wait until you got kids (if you don’t already) and they don’t stop crying and you have no idea why. Nothing drains your energy like a screaming baby, swear to God. Nothing.

So forgive me if the “LOLZ” I’ve tracked down this week are kinda out there. If it makes me seem a little less weird, these make a lot more sense if you watch Breaking Bad, play GTA V and KLAP GYM BOET!

Enjoy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That’s all for this week folks, but tune in again next week for more Tiger good time interweb shenanigans.

Have an A1 day!

-ST

26
Sep
13

iOS7 “Waterproof” Prank Is Hilarious

49674Dunce_CapSay what you like about hackers and people who hang out on “deep web” junkyards like 4chan, but they are nothing if not industrious when it comes to giving the middle finger to the man.

A perfect example of this is the recent “iOS7 Waterproof” scam that people actually believed was true. Basically, a group of pranksters on 4chan put together some very convincing Apple ads saying iOS7 makes your device waterproof.

Looking at the ads the guys put together, I gotta hand it to them, they really went out of their way to make it look legit and predictably, retards the world over have been dunking their iDevices in water with pretty dismal results. Here’s the ad:

 

 

How hilarious is that?! I mean c’mon, “smart formalities”? “Thermodistribution”? How dof do you have to be to think that this is actually legit?

My take on stuff like this is simple – if you’re dumb enough to believe something like this, it’s better that you don’t handle devices like smartphones that can potentially ruin your life and the life of others if say you posted what was meant to be a private chat onto a public forum.

So yeah, I dig Project Mayhemmy stuff like this. Next assignment is to pick a fight with a total stranger.

You’d be surprised the lengths people will go to to avoid a fight Winking smile

-ST

25
Sep
13

Brilliant Amstel Ad Sets The Bar For SA Advertising

Amstel adI’m probably a bit late to the party on this one because I don’t watch TV at all, so I have no idea how much this ad’s been flighting on local TV stations or for how long, not that I give a shit.

What I do give a shit about is how powerful this two minute and eleven second piece of communication is. As an aspiring scriptwriter, when I see work like this it leaves me with my jaw on the floor.

Everything about this ad from the carefully scripted voice over to the song that plays to their choice of shots to the acting and exceptional editing is damn near perfect.

I judge ads on whether they stay true to the brands they are advertising, whether they communicate their central message or idea effectively and in a novel way and whether I feel an emotional connection with the ad.

This ad does all three and it does them in style. At this stage what I should be doing is finding out which agency is responsible for this ad and commending them on a job well done, but I’m snowed up to my eyeballs at the moment so hopefully someone out there watching this can let me know in the comments section who did this.

Here it is:

 

 

How this ad only has 253k views currently on YouTube is beyond me. I’ve seen total piece-of-shit ads rack up 500k+ views in much less time.

If you liked that ad, share it with everyone you can, both here and overseas.

People need to know that this country is capable of producing work of this quality.

-ST