Author Archive for Slick Tiger



06
Jun
12

First look – Super Mario for the Wii U

New Super Mario Brothers U TitleCan you believe that the pudgy, loveable Italian plumber that first won us over as kids back in ’85 has featured in over 200 games to date?!

If you read the full list, you’ll find classics like Super Mario 3, Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Galaxy, but you’ll also find a LOT of duds (watch this video, hilarious!).

I mention the duds because I just saw the release footage of Super Mario for the new Wii U (hitting stores in the fourth quarter of 2012) and I must say, compared to Super Mario Galaxy, it looks kinda lame…

Sure, I get the nostalgia factor they are going for here. From what I can see in this clip they’ve borrowed a LOT from Super Mario 3 which, to this day, is still a seriously awesome game. But there’s a danger of borrowing too heavily – you end up making a game that is nothing more than reheated leftovers.

 

 

Did that blow you away? Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know?

Can you repeat the question?

-ST

05
Jun
12

Kevin Spacey – An Even Bigger Douche Than Before

Spacey VentrilloquistWeek before last I wrote about what a douche Kevin Spacey is because he chose this very random script from SA to turn into a short film instead of mine.

I got all up on my high horse and lambasted both Spacey and the efforts of the SA scriptwriter / director that won the Jameson First Shot competition.

They accepted scripts from the States, Russia and SA and chose one from each country to be turned into a short film. Ours was about a dentist who cures a pirate’s tooth ache (?), which made me think that’s the kind of tone they were going for here, slapsticky absurdism. Then I saw America’s entry.

“The Ventriloquist” is a moving, thought-provoking short film that carries a powerful emotional punch and basically makes SA’s effort look like your nephew’s grade 2 nativity play where he landed the role as the back part of the camel.

 

 

It just plain ain’t fair I tells ya! Had they chosen a less goofy script from SA, I have no doubt we would have been able to pull off something as emotionally stirring as that piece.

Look, I’m not saying this is the best short film I’ve ever seen, but I am saying it’s a damn side better than ours was.

Why you gotta be such a douche Kevin Spacey?

I just ain’t right.

-ST

04
Jun
12

Okes Who Like To Klap It #15: Avastar Nightclub Charna

AvastarOkes, I want you to tell me STRAIGHT when the last time was when you had your mind flippin’ BLOWN by a nightclub experience that was like a Las Vegas THEME-BASED HOTEL?!

Cause what I’m about to show you is gonna make you KAK it’s so flippin’ off the chain!

Remember the first time you walked into Monte Casino and were like, “FLIP BOET! Am I inside or outside?! It’s so flippin’ REALISTIC I can’t tell the difference! Am I in EUROPE?! What the flip is going on?!”

Well ma boychays and belters, now imagine that experience happening again but instead of being in a foreign country, you’re gonna be on the foreign PLANET OF AVATAR!

That’s right. Some GENIUS ous out there have recreahated the 3D experience of Avatar in a nightclub called AVASTAR that’s gonna flippin change Rivonia into the nightclub CAPITAL of South Africa.

 

 

We’re talking FLAME-THROWERS EVERY 10 MINUTES, LCD MACHINES, LOW-FOG CHANDELIERS, OPTICAL-FIBRO CRYSTAL SNOW INTERACTION BAR COUNTERS, THE WORKS MY FRIEND!

And don’t even get me flippin started on the beautiful Avatar works of art all over the club that show blue Avatar BELTERS with lekker big boobs because okes, women in this club are goddesses!

So how do you approach one of these goddess BELTERS to talk to you? Okes, the Avastar Nightclub Charna has your BACK on this one boet! He’s got a trick boychays and if you just watch the video below, he will learn you this VITAL TRICK for free!

What a flippin’ LEGEND!

 

 

Boet, all I can say is I look forward in seeing HIM there at Avastar because a nightclub like that doesn’t come around every day ma boychays, no.

It comes for 6 months at a time, MAXIMUM, so check it out before they close it after the flippin BUFF bouncers at the place take too much juice one night and by mistake kill a oke who asks where the toilet is in a KAK tone of voice.

See you BUFF ous and BELTERS there!

-ST

01
Jun
12

Nandos Fights Back Against Xenophobia

Nandos viralRacism has become a hot topic in the media recently. Hardly a day goes by without news stories being published that doesn’t touch on the subject of racism, whether it’s the Spear debacle or moronic models hurling racist slurs over Twitter.

Nandos, never being one to shy away from controversy, gives us some food for thought (see what I did there? BAZINGA!) with this new ad they’ve shot reminding us that we’re ALL foreigners in this crazy, mixed up country of ours.

Nandos has also teamed up with Cheesekids and is creating pop up soup kitchens in parts of SA that have been affected by Zenophobia. They’ve shot a brilliant call to action for that as well, which follows after the clip below:

 

 

 

Very cool ads from a company that isn’t afraid to use the best weapon we have against the hardships this country has been through and continues to go through: a sense of humour.

Because if we can laugh together, we can get through anything Winking smile

Nice one Nandos.

-ST

01
Jun
12

Friday Challenge – Guess These Close-Up Images

Looking-at-the-World-through-a-Microscope-snow2It’s Friday and I know as well as you do that you’re gonna spend the morning making sure you cover all your bases in the “working the bare minimum” department.

Come lunchtime you’re gonna grab a bite with some colleagues, then you’re gonna remember how loaded you are cause it’s pay day and celebrate with a few beers.

Fast forward to three hours later and you’re staggering back to work to kill time until you can go home without getting the hairy eyeball and THAT’S when you need to share this Friday challenge with EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

The following images are taken through an electron microscope and if you can guess what all 10 of these images depict, you are either a flippin GENIUS or a very creepy person who must please never read this site again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There ya have it folks! Hit the comments section and see how many you can get right, I’ll announce what everything is at 4pm… (provided I’m not elbows-deep in the office bar).

Have a killer weekend party people! Happy Payday!

-ST

31
May
12

Perspective Is Everything

perfectly-timed-photos-24Life comes outta nowhere. Just when things are going well, just when your ducks are getting into neat rows and you’re taking those suckers down and you’re thinking “I’ve got this…”

That’s when it happens. Something changes the game, something you could never anticipate comes along and in an instant everything is suddenly different.

I am that curveball today. A walking, talking, “Hi how are you?” smiling curveball. It’s one thing to be at the receiving end, you’re oblivious until it happens and then it’s over. But when the glove is on the other fist? Fahk… that shit is too intense.

Perspective is everything in moments like these. You dig deep to find something you’ve done before that scared the fuck out of you and you realise what a walk in the park this is going to be in comparison. You can do this, everything is going to be fine…

 

 

God help you if you dig deep and come up with nothing. Then all that’s left to do is man up, slap yourself a few times hard in the face and get it over and done with.

In this particular instance I’m lucky, I’ve got a wealth of terrifying shit I’ve done before to draw from so I’ll be ok.

And if that fails, I’ve always got Macbeth to fall back on and that great and terrible exchange between Macbeth and his Lady when they’re debating the murder of King Duncan that I read once and never forgot:

Macbeth: And if we should fail?

Lady Macbeth: We fail? But screw your courage to the sticking place, and we’ll not fail.

And that’s all there is to it.

Screw your courage to the sticking place.

And drive that dagger through the King’s heart…

-ST

30
May
12

Diablo III Update – Vast Improvement

diablo_3My last post about D3 wasn’t very complimentary because, to put it simply, the game wasn’t working for shit.

Good news is that Blizzard have sorted out the “Error 37” issue and I’ve finally been able to log some solid game time (much to the detriment of my sex life).

I’ve only been playing the Starter Edition but D3 already has it’s claws in me. Like its predecessors, Diablo III is dark, atmospheric and badass. The art direction on the game is insane, as is the level of detail. It’s still early days for me playing this game, but here’s what I like so far:

In-game physics:

When I first read about the fact that the game has physics I honestly didn’t give a shit. So some stuff falls down super-realistically, awesome. Stop the press.

Having played the game though, I can attest to what an awesome difference this makes to the gameplay. A LOT of shit is destructible – everything from tables to tombstones get wrecked while you’re slaying hell’s minions, who scatter in every direction as you obliterate them.

 

 

By taking out support beams, you can bring entire walls crashing down on the bad guys or do the classic unhook-the-chain move to bring chandeliers crashing down on them. Sure, you don’t need them, but they add to the overall aesthetic appeal of the game.

Artisans:

Think of artisans as merchants that you can train. It ain’t cheap, but you can pay artisans to level up and as they do, the weapons, armour and miscellaneous trinkets they can forge become more and more hardcore.

Artisans can “craft” magical weapons for you provided you supply the right crafting materials. You salvage these materials from the magical items you give to artisans. It makes more sense to do this than to just straight up sell the items.

Your artisans travel with you throughout the game, like groupies, so you don’t have to start over with new ones at the beginning of every Act.

 

Follower banter:

It’s a pretty minor feature of the game, but I thought it was also a nice touch. Unlike the mercenaries in Diablo II, who followed you around everywhere, fought through hell with you, but didn’t utter a damn word, the followers you amass in D3 aren’t shy to engage in some random banter from time to time.

It probably gets a bit irritating eventually, but I thought the way your followers chat with you while you’re missioning around looting and slaying everything in sight was pretty cool.

Classic example – my Monk randomly asks the Templar Knight that’s decided to hang out with him if he has any friends back at the order.

“My fellow Templars are like brothers to me,” replies the Templar, “it is a bond that goes far beyond mere friendship.”

To which my monk fires back with, “So I take it you have no friends then…”

 

 

It’s not all good news though. Like I’d said before, if you’re trying to run the game on minimum specs on a Macbook, prepare yourself for some intense running-through-molasses moments when the action picks up.

Also last night the game started bugging out in a big way – rendering blue squares instead of landscape and stuttering so badly that my Monk ended up running over the same patch of ground about 20 times to make it to a checkpoint so I could exit and restart.

Bottom line is I’m hesitant to get the full version until I have a rig that can handle it. I want to be able to crank the graphics up to the max, sit back and enjoy every second of the experience rather than bulldozing through the game in perpetual slow motion because I refuse to play without anti-aliasing, physics and high textures.

The good news I guess is that you won’t have to read any more shit about D3 on the site, fuck yeah!

For now… Winking smile

-ST

29
May
12

“Make Good Art” – Neil Gaiman’s Address At Art School Graduation

neilgaimanThought I’d feature another one of the people I look up to here on TFW today because you need to read his stuff if you haven’t already.

The man goes by the name of Neil Gaiman and he’s the guy who wrote The Sandman graphic novel series among other notable works (including Coraline, Stardust and my personal favourite, Good Omens).

Also, after posting Andy Samberg’s graduation speech at Harvard, which is just one huge joke, I felt I had to redeem myself  by posting something you might actually learn something from especially if, like me, you are an aspiring writer or artist.

The rest I’ll leave up to the man himself. This is the first time I’ve ever heard him speak, but he really smacks this one right out of the park, as you can tell by the standing ovation he receives at the end.

 

 

What a cool guy. He has an enviable ability to distil things down to their purest, simplest truths and communicate those truths in a way that is so natural it seems almost effortless.

Christ, I need to write more. If I don’t, guaranteed I’m going to end up one of those sad sorry fuckers he talks about.

A shouldawouldacoulda kind of person. The guy at the party with a story so boring people won’t even give him the courtesy of listening to it for the sake of being polite.

Let’s never be that person Winking smile

-ST

29
May
12

Primus Back From The Grave, Literally

altthumb.phpI’ve said it before on this site, it’s not a very popular view but I don’t give a rat’s ass, I fucking love Primus.

It’s probably not a very popular view because of two simple reasons: 1) No one knows who they are and b) if they do, they can’t handle how intensely batshit crazy their music is.

Take the best bass guitarist you’ve ever heard in your life and feed him a bucketload of mind-bending drugs and you’ve got Les Claypool, the driving force behind this band and the man slapping the shit out of the bass guitar in the track I’m about to play you.

Though the video for “Lee Van Cleef” just dropped, the new album, Green Naugahyde has been out since September last year.

Check it:

 

 

Zombies and the Old West, fuck yeah.

Here’s more, this one’s called “Tragedy’s A’ Comin’”, also off the new album. It has sick dancing, tight jams and the fucking coolest lobster suit I’ve ever seen.

 

 

Catchy. I dig how tragedy comes riding in on a horse wearing a spacesuit.

That’s some pretty deep sheeit right there if you stop and think about it.

Are you stopping and thinking about it? Neither am I.

All I’m thinking is DAMN I want that lobster suit.

-ST

28
May
12

Brandy. Not Just for Grandad

Fine brandy by designIf I asked you how long you think South Africa has been making brandy for, what would you guess? A hundred years? Two hundred? Two-fiddy?

No. South Africa has been making brandy for no less than three hundred and forty years and nine days.

On the 19th May 1672 the first brandy was made on South African soil by a cook off a Dutch ship called “De Pijl”. The man was nothing short of a visionary and his brandy was of such exceptional quality that it was rumoured that he even accepted patron’s clothing in exchange for a tot of his product.

Which is the PC way of saying his brandy was so off the chizain that people would gladly get NEKKED for a taste.

 

 

From there, South Africa went on to become one of the producers of some of the best brandies in the world, I mean think about it. How many other nations can boast winning the “Worldwide Brandy Trophy” at the International Wine And Spirit Awards not once, but 10 times!

Guys, it’s time we started looking at brandy, which has a regrettable reputation for being associated with leery old men and drunken fisticuffs, in a whole new light.

People that think brandy is a “boys only” drink for “old people” that can only be drunk “wiff coke” need to catch a flippin wake up. As I write this, 56% of the people drinking brandy in SA are between the ages of 18 and 34, a figure that is set to skyrocket to about 89% thanks to this blog post alone.

 

 

I attended the Fine Brandy By Design stand at the Good Food And Wine Show last week and was suitably impressed by not only the great entertainment that had been arranged (by brother and sister duo Sarah Jane And Angelo Thomas – book these guys if you’re ever doing an event. They did very slick, soulful covers of everything from Foster The People to Rihanna) but also by the brandy cocktail / food pairings that were being served.

This is not your grandad’s brandy. Check it:

 

 

 

 

The Franklin was my favourite of the cocktails above, so much so that I did an on-camera tasting at the stand, which should be live on their Facebook page either today or tomorrow.

Do I think it’s a better spirit than whisky? Hell no. Wizzo will always be my friend, muse, confidant, psychologist and mid-morning tipple, but brandy makes a nice change and is a lot more affordable than whisky if you want to taste the good stuff.

-ST