Posts Tagged ‘work time waster

26
Apr
13

Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part XV): Cyclomaniacs Epic

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome Work Time Wasters
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1835662-armorgames-cyclomaniacs-epicI worked so hard this week (with the exception of going to Metallica, although staying alive in the mosh pit was pretty hard work…) that I’ve been dreaming work. It’s not even 9am yet and I’m DEAD tired.

When the weekend finally lands in a blissful cloud of doing absolutely fuck all, you aren’t going to find a happier Tiger. The amount of nothing I’m going to do will be legendary.

In the meantime, because I’ve done the work of about three people this week, that means that two of you out there reading this can totally get away with doing no work today whatsoever. That’s where Cyclomaniacs Epic comes in…

I featured the first Cyclomaniacs game here awhile back and sank a good couple of days into playing that one. It’s a great game because it’s so damn simple.

You chose a rider. You navigate a course and if you get enough speed, you pull off sweet jumps, wheelies, front and back flips and inverts.

 

 

That’s pretty much all there is to it. The more tricks you land the higher your boost bar gets and the better chance you have of huge jumps and ridiculous tricks.

The difference between Epic and the previous versions is better graphics and more characters to choose from. Also if you fluff a trick you don’t restart from the previous checkpoint which is pretty handy.

You can play Cyclomaniacs Epic by clicking on this magical, time-wasting hyperlink.

 

 

TOTAL TIME WASTED: Hard to say. I had to pull out of this one cause I could feel it was going to suck the time right our of me. In total, I reckon you could crack the entire game in about 8 hours straight, so 1 full working day should do the trick
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: Solid 80%, hands down. I mean what’s not to like? Cool bikes, funny-lookin characters, sweet jumps. Whole lotta win right there.
FINAL VERDICT: Good, clean, official written warning fun times. Do it! Do it now!

 

Have a killer weekend Party People.

See ya’ll back at the grind next week.

Adios!

-ST

21
Feb
13

Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part xiv): Frog Fractions

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome Work Time Wasters
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300x-1I’ve been hittin’ up this pretty cool site called Indie Games for a couple of months now and checking out the titles they write about and review and I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the quality of the games they feature.

That’s where I discovered the game “Frog Fractions” which has to be the fucking weirdest flash game I think I’ve ever played, and coming from a guy like me, that’s saying A LOT.

There’s no way I would have ever even attempted this game if I’d just randomly stumbled on it, based on the title and the accompanying image you see on your left. Who the hell wants to play what looks like a game to teach kids about fractions?

For starters, this game has nothing to do with fractions whatsoever. Sure, when you eat the flies and other insects that float down the screen, fractions are randomly displayed but they mean absolutely nothing.

 

 

As you eat more insects and collect fruit, your frog can purchase an assortment of bizarre power-ups (like Lock-On Targeting, a Cybernetic Brain and a Static Cling Tongue) that slowly make the game weirder and weirder .

Eventually your frog is riding a giant Chinese dragon through space and time on an adventure that will see him go to court, pilot a rocketship and become president!

Whoever made this game is either some kind of unrecognised genius or completely batshit crazy, but either way, Frog Fractions is a great game if you have a sense of humour and about an hour to kill.

 

 

THIS IS THE MAGICAL LINK YOU CAN CLICK ON TO PLAY THIS GAME NOW!

TOTAL TIME WASTED: Longer than I’d care to admit. Look, the text-adventure part is hard ok?! It’s been a good 20 years since I last played a game like that.
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: I’d peg this at a cool 75% throughout. Oh no wait, except at the end, the end bit gets an 80&. Also, the music and sound effects are seriously badass
FINAL VERDICT: A game you’ll play and probably finish just to see what weird shit happens next.

-ST

17
Nov
11

Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part ix)

By SlickTiger 4 Comments
Categories: Awesome Work Time Wasters
Tags: , , , , , ,

nic_cage_faceoff11I think it’s high time we wasted some time at work guys, seriously.

Like I may have mentioned once or twice already, I’ve been working my ass to the bone recently and dealing with all kinds of stress that manifests in a lot of horrible ways I don’t think we should go into.

So let’s give the finger to the man as we jump in the time machine and zip 30 years back to a time when games were played on devices the size of your wallet and gameplay just consisted of moving left or right.

Some genius website developer out there put together this site called “pica-pic” which is a collection of 36 of those old crusty hand held games our parents bought for us to stop us from whining for Game Boys / SNESes.

To be honest, I only remember one of these – “Parachute”. Here’s a screen grab:

 

 

The backstory here is that you’re Chuck Boatman, top Navy Seal special ops commando and you’re on a mission to save as many of your men as possible as they jump out of the chopper above the palm tree on the right.

Succeed in your mission and your reward is more men jumping haplessly out of the seemingly infinite space that is the inside of the chopper. Fail, and you’ll have to watch in horror as sharks eat your men alive.

You can afford to lose only three men but will be expected to save at least 1700 (no shit, I checked the high scores) to be the best there is at this game.

I saved 66. The bar has been set.

 

 

But don’t let the fun stop there, no!

Why not travel back to prehistoric times and play as Ugga Dugdug, a simple caveman on a mission to gather precious dinosaur eggs to feed your starving family from a mighty fire-breathing Diplodocus?

 

 

Or gear up in a badass suit of armour as you go head to head with a horde of Nosferatu who are hell bent on landing on the ground and walking from left to right to feed off the blood of a beautiful maiden who moves left. Then right. Then right. Then left again. Then right.

Brandish the burning sword of Naelfalger as you slay the undead and avenge the ancient realm of Gartangen!

 

 

The sky’s the limit here guys. With over 30 different games to choose from you’ll be moving left and right like your very LIFE depends on it!

TOTAL TIME WASTED: The time it took to write this post. So let’s call it 30 mins
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 22%
FINAL VERDICT: The one massive disadvantage the digital versions of these games have is that you can’t throw them as hard as humanly possible against the wall when they piss you off, a HUGE drawback considering that’s really the only fun any of us ever had playing them.

-ST

13
Oct
11

Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part VIII)

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome Work Time Wasters
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Roman_Soldier_03Is that right? VIII – that’s eight hey? What the hell am I going to do when I get past 10, you guys are going to have to help me out after that. Any Roman numeral experts out there? Ten is X right?

Anyway, let’s do a work time-waster shall we? Your boss is gonna fucking LOVE this one Winking smile

Big up to my main man Skatter who sent this through to tellthetiger@gmail.com last week. Following the popularity of CycloManiacs, here’s another cycling game that is sure to get your ass FIRED, BITCH!

It’s called “Canvas Rider” and it goes a little something… like this…

You’re a dude. A stickdude to be precise, and you cruise around doing sweet jumps and trying to complete these rad levels that people draw and upload for you to try out. YOU can even draw the levels. Yeah! You! What do you mean you can’t draw?! That doesn’t fucking matter, I can’t draw and look what I made!

 

 

Yeah. Um. I should probably stick with writing…

So you can play a whole bunch of tracks that people with WAY better drawing skills than me have created, like this one: SNOWY MOUNTAIN SCENE! Fucking impossible to play, but you have to admire the effort this person went to, too crazy!

 

 

That one’s called Chillwind Woods, it’s basically impossible to finish so yeah, if you die about a bajillion times trying to nail it, that’s pretty much par for the course.

If you want something a little easier, but also amazingly well designed, check out Wild West:

 

 

There are a shitload of courses to fuck around on, even this one where you get to ride on boobs! Boobs I tell you!

 

 

Also, you can die in the most spectacular ways. I honestly never knew a stickman could do the things this little feller does when he wipes out. It HURTS to watch him fail and he fails A LOT.

They also change things up a little by adding green triangles, yellow triangles, red dots and all manner of shit that fuck with your gravity and add a whole other dimension to some of the courses.

The challenge here is to finish Wild West though. If you can do that, you’re a better cycler than me my good man and you’ll get the satisfaction of going to sleep tonight KNOWING that, which no one can ever, ever take away from you.

Of course, you’ll lose your job, but it will have been SO worth it.

TOTAL TIME WASTED: At least 5hrs all in all and counting. The beauty of this one is there are so many tracks to play it takes ages to get old
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 73.21%
FINAL VERDICT: Definitely a solid time waster this one. I’d challenge anyone out there to top this bad boy.

-ST