Here, in no particular order, are three great reasons why never to watch the horror movie The Human Centipede:
Reason No.1: Only One Person In The Entire Film Can Actually Act
I don’t think I have to go into too much detail here except to further explain that that one person also happens to be the mentally deranged surgeon who is the film’s main antagonist and who randomly decides one day that it would be fun to kidnap three people and surgically attach them to each other ass-to-mouth to make, well, a human centipede.
I’m not joking. Someone actually made this film.
Reason No.2: Who The Hell Wants To Watch A Movie About People Who Are Surgically Attached To One Another Ass To Mouth?
Who indeed. Shelve your morbid curiosity for this one, you’ll be a lot better off in the long run without the mental images of three people crawling around on all fours, “feeding†one another.
Reason No.3: You See The Deranged Surgeon’s Naked Butt
Which is pretty much twice as terrifying as the actual monster he creates and then spends the rest of the movie hanging out with.
“Fetch the newspaper human centipede! Fetch the paper! Goooooood human centipede!â€
I shit you not. This is the worst movie ever created. EVER.
Final Verdict: 1/10
-ST
