Posts Tagged ‘stikey

30
Sep
11

Happy Second Birthday SlickTiger!

stripper cakeExactly two years and one day ago I pushed this site out lovingly from the moist, slippery birth canals of my twisted mind.

Can you believe it’s already been two years?! Christ, if I’d actually dedicated all this time to writing a novel like I’d originally planned and stuck to writing it as religiously as I blog on this site, I’d have a fucking masterpiece by now.

But, conversely, I never would have met all you, my happy little gang of imaginary internet friends so yeah… um… whoop whoop dee doo?

Joking! You know I love you goofy basterds. That’s the one thing you learn about blogging right from the get-go, every comment you get on your site is like a little hit of internet crack and once you get started on that shit you’ll blog about your own dead mother to get more!

I think it’s been a pretty fun ride so far. Sure, sometimes I write about utter shite just for the sake of posting that day but I’m only human. I can’t think up earth-shattering posts every day. Hell, if I manage one a MONTH I’m happy.

 

 

But enough about me, this post is about YOU – my loyal readers who come back time and time again to see what the Tiger’s been up to, what weird shit he’s cooked up today.

Civilian, Seer0wer, Guitar Jon, DP, Jax, Psymon, Action, Mattcredible, Megs (the ORIGINAL Slicky-T groupie), Callegari, Tara, Supa Dan, The MAEN, Ricksaw, Flavid, 1/2 a Rent, Peggles and Stikey just to name a few. You guys are the shit. I’d write this site until hell froze over just for you guys.

Thank you for being total badasses and hitting this site like it’s a prime piece of 18 year old ass and you’re the creepy PE teacher who touches his students inappropriately while they’re stretching.

 

 

Empires will rise and fall, but this junkyard site will float on through the blogosphere, edging ever closer to the event horizon, the still point of the turning universe and when we get there we will see the beginning again and we will know it for the first time…

And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

I’d like to play out with a song close to my heart. It’s Eagles Of Death Metal with “Whore-hoppin’ (Shit, Goddamn)”

 

 

Shine on you crazy diamonds Winking smile

-ST

01
Mar
11

A Post For Salome

I always felt bad because when Stikey and I, at the tender age of about 15, decided to run away from home, we passed Salome in the street and lied to her about where we were going.

She could see that something was up. Two adolescent shit-kickers dragging a colossal tog bag up the road randomly in the middle of the afternoon. Not normal.

She asked us where we were going and I told her I was spending the night at Stikey’s place and not to worry about us and yes, our parents knew about it.

Then we high-tailed it up the street, jumped in a black taxi and drove to a Formula One hotel where we spent the night getting as wasted as humanly possible and freaking out completely that our parents were going to disown us.

We were asshole kids and we did a lot of asshole things, but lying to Salome like that, it never sat well with me.

I don’t remember if I ever apologised to her for that. To this day I still don’t know if my parents asked her if she’d seen me that afternoon and what she said.

I’m not sure it matters anymore. Salome died yesterday afternoon.

Let it be known, for as long as this junkyard site stands, that Salome was a  good person, that she went to church every Sunday and said her prayers, that she was a gentle soul and that she deserved to live longer and see her grandkids grow up big and strong.

Salome was young, younger than my mom is now when she died, too young.

She used to give the softest hugs.

I think that’s what I’ll remember about her the most. She gave the softest hugs and she had a great laugh that could always make you laugh.

And holy shit, she make the best goddamn chicken mayonnaise rolls you’ve ever tasted in your life! I swear to God, her chicken mayonnaise rolls were so good, I’d save them for the end of my school day and eat them on the rowing bus going back home with this big dumb smile on my face.

I’m older now and I understand that life is cruel, but why the fuck did it have to be so cruel to her? What the fuck did she ever do to deserve losing her daughter who died right next to Salome on the bed in the tiny room that Salome used to live in, what did she ever do to deserve that?

I remember one night she spoke to me about it, she came to me for answers, she wanted to know how the God she loved could do that, but what could I tell her? What the fuck do you say to  someone who’s been through that?

I hugged her because there was nothing I could say. I just hugged her for the longest time, until she’d stopped crying and I told her things would be ok, they would get better.

She used to give the softest hugs Salome, and if there is a God, she’s giving her daughter one of those hugs right now and they’re together in a world that’s much, much better than this one.

 

 

-ST

22
Nov
09

Stikey

Somewhere back in time, Stikey and I were sitting in a kind of fort that we built out of tree branches, by a fire when he told me about the rabbit hole and how and where to find it.

Those early runs, we did a lot of them together, down into the hole, twisting through those crazy tunnels, digging new passages, unstoppable in every way.

Later he caught something down there, he got sick, those tunnels and the places they lead were full of spores and he just breathed in too many.

 

His grip on the world outside the Hole was lost and most of us, we thought he was done for.

But he fought back, he got back up by himself, and by himself he boarded the Hole up and bolted it shut, and hasn’t gone back since.

He’s smart, as adept at running a company as he is at fleecing you for every cent you have across a poker table. Money slides like mercury toward him and of all my friends, you bet your ass he will be the first to make a million.

There’s this line that Big Red used to say everytime he saw Stikey when we were growing up, it was a question, ‘Is he a Greek God, or a goddamn greek?’

The answer, I think, is that he’s both, which makes him a stand up guy to have on your side, but not a guy you’d want to fuck with if he isn’t.