So as you guys probably all know already because you are super internet-savvy mofos – Axe are upping the ante in the hugest way possible by sending someone into space.
That’s right, Axe has invited people to enter a competition that’s divided into a number of stages, the final one being strapping yourself into a goddamn rocket and launching yourself into motherflippin’ SPACE yo!
It’s arguably one of the most epic competitions I’ve heard of in recent years. Hit up the Axe Apollo Space Academy site for more details or just kick back and watch the radass video to follow.
Radass ne?
So anyway, here’s the rub. A good friend of man and all round stand-up guy by the name of SupaDan has decided to enter this competition which will see 22 people from countries all over the world shot into space one-by-one to experience zero gravity for roughly six minutes before coming back to earth again.
If anyone deserves those 6 minutes it’s my man SupaDan. This guy is such a total badass, he shot and edited this video for your Tiger pal, the first that was ever aired on Tiger TV, on a budget of exactly ZERO RONT.
This from a guy I didn’t even know. He then went on to cast me in one of the leading roles in a slasher / horror movie I acted in last year.
I know. What a total badass right?
Besides all that, Danny slaves away everyday, up at 3am, trudging through 10 feet of snow to work the railyards where they break his fingers with hammers if he doesn’t klap 18 straight hours of work hauling steel railway lines to make the very trains you and I ride on every day.
Then, at the end of the day, they shoot him before he trudges back home through 15 feet of snow to eat his supper, a cup of hot gravel, and then he crawls into his moth-eaten little sleeping bag under a bridge where he lies with tik-addicted bergies trying to roger him in his sleep.
If anyone deserves to go to space, it’s my man Danny De Nobrega.
He even included the following in an impassioned email he sent to me, his Tiger pal, begging for votes in the competition:
– I will exchange soft core sexual favours with your readers for votes.
– I will do stupid/embarrassing/risk of personal harm anything on photo/video/vhs/live tv/recordings to campaign for votes.
All it takes is a second to vote for this man and you could change his life forever.
Here’s the direct link to his entry: https://www2.axeapollo.com/en_ZA/802/danny-de-nobrega/.
Yesterday, for the briefest of moments, Danny was actually in the lead, but now I see he has plummeted down the list and is currently at number 12.
Guys, let’s make Danny’s wildest dreams come true or at least get him to do some stupid shit on camera for the sake of epic LOLZ because, in the words of the world’s second most famous child molester:
He believes he can fly.
He believes he can touch the sky.
He thinks about it every night and day.
Spread his wings and fly away.
He believes he can fly.
-ST
