Them's Fightin' Words

Hi guys (*serious face).

There comes a time in every man, woman and child’s life when he, she or it becomes aware of something that previously he, she or it was not aware of before.

That time in my life came about when I was 25 years old and, trawling the internet one day for worthy causes that I could support to make the world we live in a better place, I, for the first time in my life, became aware of “bloggers”.

Bloggers, ladies and gentlemen, are not like you and me. You see, unlike you and me, bloggers are different from us because of a number of factors that I have researched thoroughly and dedicated my life to raising awareness of such as:

• Their parents are cousins
• They drank high quantities of alcohol during their formative years
• Repetitive head wounds, and
• Twitter

The epidemic of “bloggers” began about a year ago when online social-media website 2.0 platforms began to exist in the “blogosphere”, and were made popular through peer-to-peer MySpacial networks over Facebook.

Before the internet made them famous, no one had any idea that these people even existed and typically these “bloggers” spent most of their lives locked in basements eating gruel and communicating to one another in a series of wails and grunts.

Many argue the world was a better place when “bloggers” were chained in these subterranean lairs, such was the ignorance of the world at large back in those early days.

I implore you not to turn a blind eye to this epidemic! Pretending they don’t exist is not going to make this problem go away!

Instead, I encourage you to email tellthetiger@gmail.com and pledge money toward the Swiss bank account I have set up in order to help these unfortunate individuals and properly integrate them into society where they can find meaningful jobs as Refuse Collection Agents, Street Sanitation Officers or Public Relations Consultants.

So don’t delay, send all your banking details to tellthetiger@gmail.com today and join the SlickTiger Help A Blogger In Need Initiative, or SHABINI for short.

You CAN make a difference in the life of a “blogger” TODAY!

-ST