Them's Fightin' Words

Twitter, I learned yesterday, is not the place to announce to the world that you’ve just won an iPad2. Either no one cares, or they’re jealous as hell and hate you instantly.

Still doesn’t change the fact that I won an iPad2 though, and not for a competition I entered but rather because we were chosen as one of the top agencies in a global campaign I worked on.

That’s right, a GLOBAL CAMPAIGN bitches! They don’t call me SlickTiger for nothing y’know – I’m out there in the front lines every day working my ass off because it’s fight or die in this life and I’m really bad at dying.

But anyway, I digest.

So after some tussles with the kind folks at the post office who demanded R1 420 bail for my iPad (all good though, global took care of it) I finally took the iPad2 home tonight and started making sweet love to it.

First thing that strikes you about it, as with all Apple’s products, is how goddamn beautifully simple and elegant the packaging is. I even filmed myself peeling off the plastic envelope the iPad2 is packaged in, because it felt like a crime not to.

Once it’s on all the screen shows is a USB cable and an arrow pointing to the iTunes icon.

“What do you think it means…?” I whispered to J-Rab.

“Um, connect to iTunes via the USB cable would be my first guess,” she replied.

“Yeah… connect to iTunes… via… USB cable…” I repeated.

So I fired up the MacBook and did just that. Then I excitedly stared at the iPad screen to find nothing had happened.

“Says here to check for the latest version of iTunes,” J-Rab offered helpfully, which we did and kapow! It started installing updates – 1.47GB of updates!

“What the fucking fuck is it doing?! It can’t download that many updates, that’s like my entire month’s bandwidth in one fucking night! Where the fuck does it think we live, KOREA?!”

“Just calm down,” J-Rab said, stopping the download and looking at “Details”. “See there? It’s trying to install the latest operating system, that’s why it’s a gig, just uncheck that and all the rest of this bullshit… there. iTunes update – 96MB.”

“Fuck yeah! Now go make me a sammich!” I said as she playfully punched me in the balls.

Soon as iTunes was updated the iPad2 magically came to life and started asking politely for its SIM card.

“What a fucking cool little guy!” I said in amazement, “He’s come alive and wasted no time in getting straight to the point. Hand over my 3G modem babe, let’s dig the SIM card out and give this little fella a brain!”

Ten minutes later (it took me awhile to figure out how to open the SIM card slot ok?) I had the SIM card tray ejected and ready to accept my SIM card… only… the tray looked really small…

“Is it just me or is this tray really small?” I asked J-Rab.

“It says here ‘Insert micro SIM card’. Is that a micro SIM card?”

“What the fuck is that?! Aren’t regular SIM cards small enough!”

“Apparently not…”

“Wait, what if we cut this one a little so it fits, won’t that work?”

“No.”

“Fuck.”

And thus ended our first night with our new iPad2. But not before we dicked around with the PhotoBooth application for at least half an hour – MAN that app is cool. If the others are anywhere near as badass, I have a feeling my life is about to become so rad no one will be able to handle it!

In the meantime, anyone know how I get my hands on a micro SIM card? Free *5s for whoever can help a nigga out.

Have a killer weekend guys, we’ll pick this up on Monday again, same time, same place

-ST