Charnas, you gotta believe me when I choon you that the legwarmer crave that I started has gone flippin’ bonkers and tuff ous from all over the country are sending me pics of EVERYTHING wearing retro moffie socks!
I can’t believe it that it was only a week ago that I started everything with me posting a oke I saw KLAPPING IT in retro moffie socks. Then, hard;y a week later I see another charna KLAPPING IT EVEN HARDER, also in retro moffie socks.
And NOW it’s not just boychays wearing this miracle strength-inhancing leg-KLAPPER, as I discovered during my mid-day PUMP at Virgin Wembley yesterday, it’s BELTERS too!
Apparently, the magic of the moffie sock works for BELTERS too, encouraging circlation through the entire body, therefore promoting oyxgen to the muscles which maximises not only the BUFFNESS but also the BENDING ABILITY of any BELTER.
But then ous took things to a whole OTHER LEVEL and put moffie socks on inanminate objects like ol’ Jannie Van Riebeek’s statue in KLAPSTAD, thereby making the statue INSTANTLY stand 78% more still than usual and get kakked on by 130% less pidgeons – KLAP IT JANNIE!
But there’s more okes! On Wensday, one of my good chommies Wit Willie who KLAPS IT with all the the TUFF OUS and BELTERS at Virgin Active Greenpoint (or “The Point†as the kief ous call it) was driving home in his lekker supedup Ford Focus ST with his “Tap Out†bumper sticker when he saw THIS:
HEY?! HOW FLIPPIN’ BUFF IS THAT GIRAFFE?!
You can check by the lekker definition in the giraffe’s rear leg and his BUFF DELTS, that this charna’s a BEAST in the gym. And I can tell you right now that that BUFFNESS comes from the retro moffie socks the ou is wearing – KLAP IT GIRAFFE!
But lastly okes, there’s one more. For this one I want you charnas and belters out there to just prepare yourselves beforehand for the buffness because it’s OFF THE FLIPPIN’ CHAIN!
My other buddy, Chippy, was doing STREET LUNGES with 20kilo dumbells the other day to give his quads a flippin’ lekker workout when he, out the side of his eye, checked THIS:
Okes, I’m not joking when I tell you that Chippy told me that the light that shone from that flippin’ streetpost was so flippin MASSIVE AND RIPPED, it was MELTING THE FLIPPIN’ CARS!
Completely mesmernised, Chippy pushed the button you see in the picture and flippin’ BALLS OF GREEN, RED AND ORANGE FIRE shot out of the streetpost and melted a ENTIRE BUILDING down – KLAP IT STREETPOST!
The power of the moffie socks cannot be unnerestimated okes. Those charnas back in the 80s when every oke looked like ARNOLD SHWARZENNEGAR and every BELTER looked like JANE FONDLE knowed secrets of KLAPPING IT we can only dream of.
If I could go back in time like that movie with the ous in the car that runs on GARBAGE, I’d go back to the the 80s to learn from the masters in my lekker retro moffie socks and come back THE BUFFEST CHARNA IN THE LAND!
All I need is a little irritating oke in a kief red jacket and a mad professor oke who shouts a lot and has kak hair. Anyone know any ous like that…?
KLAP IT CHARNAS!
-ST
