It has been a theory of mine for some time now that women have gotten better and better looking over time. Just when you think they can’t get any sexier, BAM, another stunning supermodel seems to pop out of the woodwork, even more beautiful and unobtainable than the last.
Then again, maybe it’s just me, maybe I’ve just been brainwashed by the media to think Miss X, Y or Z is so incredible, when actually drop-dead gorgeous women have always existed, the only difference being which one the spotlight shines on, from what angle and after how much photo-shopping.
And so I approached the authority on such issues, Google Images, and started looking for pictures of ‘sexy’ women through the ages.
I started at 1900 and found the following gem:
Let me break down what we’re dealing with here. I see a woman with a strange-looking, skunk-like mop of hair for a hairstyle, reclining suggestively with a book, inches away from showing us a little nip, but thankfully keeping the PG rating of this pic at a 10.
This is the kind of girl who would make a great librarian, pre-school teacher or postal worker. All in all, I think she should go back to reading her book and pull up her dress for heaven’s sake! No need to scare the children.
Moving right along, here’s what 1920 yielded in the form of the first popular female actress to make it in Hollywood, Florence Lawrence:
Yeah, are we making any progress here? Yes? No? Sure, there is some kind of charm about her, but let’s be honest, if you passed her in the street would you give her a second look? I mean, besides to stare at her hat, which is making my balls shrivel up inside me.
I think this is what people mean when they describe a woman as ‘handsome’. She’s a handsome woman, ie. good-looking… for a man.
Just wait though, cause with 1950 comes good ol’ Marilyn Monroe, hooo-weeee!
Was Marilyn Monroe really the belter everyone makes her out to have been, or was she just the first attractive woman with enough confidence to be able to pose half-naked and make it look sexy?
What I’m seeing in this picture is a woman with smallish breasts, some pretty meaty thighs, a stomach she’s definitely sucking in for all it’s worth and a face that’s attractive the way your sister’s best friend was attractive back when you were 11. Then you realised her mustache was thicker than yours and never spoke to her again.
Let’s move onto 1970 shall we?
All of a sudden, things are starting to heat up a little. Meet Veruschka von Lehndorff, one of a dozen or so ‘supermodels’ that were popular in the 1960s and 1970s. Veruschka, with the right kind of make-up, lighting and wardrobe could easily nail an FHM front cover.
Still though, can she compare to modern-day beauties? Maybe not quite, but I’d say she’s damn close.
Then I stumbled on this picture of model Gia Carangi, who was big back in the late 70s and early 80s. They made a movie about her starring Angelina Jolie called Gia which, if you like seeing lots of Angelina’s naked body, is DEFINITELY worth watching.
Now THAT is a good-looking woman and one that is definitely comparable to any modern-day beauty. She was also one of the original ‘supermodels’ on the scene, but died tragically at 26 from AIDS, which she got from shooting heroin with dirty needles.
Still though, would you say she’s better or worse looking than a modern-day supermodel like say, Joanna Krupa, for example?
Or the woman who seems to be topping a lot of lists these days, Megan Fox?
After trawling the interwebs for literally hours to find pics to base this post on, the conclusion I’ve reached is that yes, women are getting hotter and hotter and it’s all thanks to the invention of the supermodel way back in the 60s and 70s.
Once supermodels came into existence, all of a sudden female perfection had a benchmark to measure itself against, and now women are not only getting hotter and hotter, but the mainstream media is flooded with images of them on an ever-increasing basis, causing untold damage to ordinary men and women alike, who do all manner of fucked up shit to either date women like this or become them.
Which is why sometimes you gotta take a step back from it all and realise that while these women might be incredible to look at, chances are they have really shitty personalities and are plagued with insecurities.
Bottom line is when you look that good you’re so used to getting your way and walking all over people that you think behaving like a sycophant is totally normal and acceptable.
I say let’s go back to a time before supermodels and celebrate what true female beauty is and so, I’d like to invite you in appreciating the following NSFW image with me of a woman from 1920 who has great breasts (if this is your gran, I’m sorry, but she had a great set and you should be proud of that).
The lesson here is not to let the mainstream media dictate your tastes. Instead, you should get into 1920s porn and not only will you be an INDIVIDUAL but you’ll also have a great conversation starter (and ender) at the next dinner party you attend.
All those girls in magazines, all the ones in the movies and on 50ft billboards, let that shit go. Look for beauty in the real world and when you find it, hold onto it, cherish it and you might just find something close to true happiness instead of shallow pleasure.
-ST
