Posts Tagged ‘klapping gym boet

25
Aug
11

SlickTiger And The 10 Year Highschool Reunion

I wasn’t sure if anyone gave two shits that I was flying up to the Big Smoke awhile back for my 10 year highschool reunion, so I never wrote a follow-up post saying what it was actually like.

Since writing that post though no less than three of my regular readers have asked me what went down so I figured I owed it to them to give a full account of the sheer insanity, the mind-bendingly twisted and life-alteringly fucked up shit that went down that night.

So pull up a chair, this post’s gonna leave you a changed person…

Cool, still here? Rad, sorry for the over-dramatic intro, the reunion wasn’t all that life-changing but I’m glad you clicked the link cause there was one funny thing that happened that night that bares repeating.

To be perfectly honest, I enjoyed the Friday night I spent up in Jozi way more than the actual reunion night itself on Saturday. I just kicked back at my good buddy Peggles’ place while a whole host of my Joburg buddies came by and we spent the night getting rat-faced at his flat and playing darts.

 

 

It was just good times. One of those waypoints on the road that is life where you get to catch up with old buddies and knock back a few tequilas, swap a few war stories and enjoy one another’s company.

Come Saturday, Peggles and I were driving to the reunion asking one another why the hell we had decided to go in the first place. We already knew exactly what it was going to be like – all the guy who never left Joburg crammed into one venue getting good and wasted and asking each other the same damn questions all night.

Which was pretty much exactly what happened. But strangely enough I really enjoyed it. Mostly because a lot of the guys had embarrassingly boring stories and were content to just listen to me babbling on all night about myself, which seemed to be going down really well.

 

 

What was fucking sick though was the fact that there were guys there who I literally haven’t spoken to in 10 years who not only know about this site, but read it regularly. Then there were the moments of pure win when I told one or two people that I write this site and they were like “YOU’RE SlickTiger?! Fuck bro, I LOVED that klapping gym post!”

Well, I say pure win, but obviously they hardly read the site or they would have seen the pictures I sporadically post of myself and made the connection sooner, but hey, at least I’m known for something.

Then, BEST part of the evening by far, was when a good buddy of mine walks up to me and says, “Cornelius dude, I gotta share this with you man,” (not my real name, but let’s just roll with this one…).

“So we’re having a conversation about how some of the guys here are clearly talking themselves up a little to sound more important than they are.”

“Sure,” I replied, “that’s a given, right?”

“So one of the guys turns around and is like ‘Ja, a lot of okes are doing that. I mean Cornelius is walking around telling everyone he’s SlickTiger!”

Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Too fucking funny I tells ya! THAT made the whole trip worth it, what a chop.

 

 

But I dunno, I’m not sure my life would have been that different had I not gone, so maybe let that be a lesson to anyone considering attending their 10 year reunion.

It’s going to be exactly the way you think it’s going to be.

Just pray when yours rolls around they stock the bar better than they did for ours – one hour in and all the tequila and Jagermeister was finished and at 1.00 on the knuckle they rang for last rounds and sent us all home.

If I could go back in time I definitely would have still gone, but not without first ingesting a LOT of acid.

Now THAT would have been a fun party Winking smile

-ST

25
Jan
11

Everybody Buy The New FHM! Do It! Do It Now!

Sources tell me it hits shelves tomorrow and hoo-wee! It’s going to be a KILLER issue because why?

Because your Tiger pal’s in it Winking smile

That’s right ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls – they ran with the “Klapping Gym Boet” piece, but they couldn’t use the awesome pics I did because some are low res and also FHM doesn’t have the rights to use them.

They used an illustrator instead who drew all these cartoony pictures to replace the originals. Does it work? Is it still as funny as the original?

You guys are going to have to be the judges here because honestly, I’ve read that piece so many times my eyes have started bleeding at the mere mention of it.

 

 

So yeah, hit CNA tomorrow buy the new FHM and let me know what you guys think. It has new material in there, two additional steps to klapping it that aren’t in the original piece and I had to tone down the swears a bit.

If you like it, do your ol’ tiger pal a favour and pop an email to FHM telling them it rocked and they should hire me.

Bada bing bada bang!

Group hug!

 

 

-ST

02
Sep
10

To Everyone Who Reads This Site, Thank You

I cracked the final 10 for Best Post Of The Year in the 2010 Blog Awards guys, how fucking amazing is that?!

Klap Gym Boet is apparently a firm favourite amongst the other nominees, but taking home the award isn’t going to be easy.

If you liked the post, hit me with a vote. Then wait 24 hours and hit me with another (weird I know, but yeah, everyone can vote twice as long as 24 hours lapses between votes).

Together we can KLAP this one charnas.

I love you all more than you could ever know. C’mere. Let’s hug it out.

 

 

To the people who have supported me throughout – J-Rab, Civilian, Guitar Jon, Peggles, Stikey, The MAEN!, El Guapo, Mr C, Tara, Desrie, Stickman, Jono, Toffee Boy, Flavid, Rich Willis, and everyone else I’ve by mistake forgotten – you guys fucking rock 🙂

-ST

11
Aug
10

USOMFA Tour ‘10: This Is The End… My Only Friend… The End…

I had a lot planned for the USOMFA Tour – in-depth interviews, investigative profiles, daily updates, you name it, but the truth is I never got around to actually writing any of it.

That’s the thing about holidays, you make all these plans about how you’re going to spend them and then before you know it they’re over, you haven’t done any of the stuff you had planned and life’s moving on.

My brain is having none of that though. For the first time in my life, I’m experiencing chronic jetlag and it ain’t pretty. Here’s an intricate graph I drew to illustrate my sleep patterns since I left America on Saturday:

 

 

And here’s an equally intricate graph I drew that shows how many people give a fuck about my sleep patterns since I left America:

 

 

You could have at least faked some kind of interest guys, seriously. You could have at least done that for me.

A big question on everyone’s minds though has been “How did it go meeting J-Rab’s parents and brothers for the first time, I mean you guys have been dating for what, like three years now? That’s a flippin’ LONG ASS time to not have met her parents, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

Well the great news is that it went really, really well. J-Rab’s parents are warm, friendly and very easy to get along with, which is more than I can say for DEATHCAT!

 

 

All DEATHCAT did was miaow angrily at me and threaten to die (at this point I feel it might be pertinent to mention that DEATHCAT is a 22 year-old feline that is made up of mottled fur, leathery skin and jutting-out bones that send a shiver down your spine every time you see them).

As for J-Rab’s brothers, they are way smarter, more wholesome and a shitload better adjusted than I was at their age. This is a great thing because otherwise most of our holiday would have been spent trawling dive bars to find them, bailing them out of jail, and engaging their enemies in vicious knife fights to the death.

Speaking of which, should you ever find yourself in such a situation, always remember to hold your knife blade-down when stabbing, that way you can stab quicker and harder whilst using your forearm to shield your opponent’s stabs.

 

 

I got back to the office yesterday to find they’ve moved me right into the corner of the room so I now sit with my back to the entire office and am no longer able to surf porn and quickly hit Alt+Tab when I see someone approaching in my peripheral vision. I can’t put into words the profound effect this has had on my morale and motivation in the office.

How is a grown man expected to get through a day’s hard slog without a little lesbian gang-bang action? It just ain’t right I tell ya. It just ain’t right.

In other news, I’ve finally been approached to write material for another site and getting paid for it to boot! If I can just land a few more gigs like this one, I’ll be able to use my writing talent to bring home the bacon, which should free up a crapload of my time to surf porn. A man can dream…

So all in all life ain’t too bad for your buddy ol’ pal Slick, but it’ll be even BETTER if you nominate me for the upcoming SA blog awards.

Best new blog, best post (Klapping Gym Boet) and best overall blog are the ones I’m gunning for, but I can’t do it without you guys.

So click this link http://website.sablogawards.com/2010/ and nominate SlickTiger to fucking KILL EVERYTHING!

I ain’t no Panjo. Set me loose at the SA Blog Awards gala dinner and it’ll take more than a dead chicken and some gentle words of encouragement to get me back in my cage 😉

-ST

14
Jun
10

The SlickTiger Interview On MFM

Stop the motherfucking press motherfuckers! I actually managed to get my dirty paws on the interview that took place last week on Wednesday on MFM (Maties FM, the Stellenbosch University campus station) because literally hundreds of thousands of people emailed, skyped, smsed and shouted at me on busy street corners because they so badly wanted to hear it.

 

So yeah, I did you guys all the favour of painstakingly breaking into the MFM offices in the dead of night and stealing about 3 days worth of back-recordings that I had to listen to, which was like chewing glass, to eventually find this little gem of an interview.

Enjoy guys. Something tells me you’re gonna love the shit outta this 😉

-ST