Posts Tagged ‘ipad2

08
Sep
11

SlickTiger Learns the Fine Art Of Bashing Zombies Into Parked Cars

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: SlickTiger and the iPad2
Tags: , , , ,

4a122b1d01e3a3f5dcae480f078cbb47You could do a pretty interesting study on why so many people in our generation have a total fixation on zombies.

For me, there’s just something about the entire system grinding to a complete halt that kinda appeals to me. No more mundane routines, no more work pressures, none of that fabricated bullshit would matter anymore.

Of course, you’d live every moment in blood-curdling fear and probably have to do some pretty unspeakable shit to stay alive, but as long as you’d done your homework, watched every zombie movie known to man and played games like Zombie Highway, you’d definitely survive at least a week or two.

See, Zombie Highway (available for free on iPads from the iTunes ap store) is an entire game based on those classic scenes from movies where the bad guy is clinging to the car and the good guy is bashing the car against all manner of shit to get him / it off.

The gameplay is dead simple (yes, I just did that). You drive down a long, straight highway while zombies jump out of nowhere and cling onto the side of your car.

 

 

When this happens you can either slam the zombies against conveniently-placed barricaded cars or feed the basterds some lead salad by touching circles on either side of your car which turn red when a zombie grabs onto the car.

The downside of just shooting them of course is you very quickly run out of ammo and then you’re completely fucked. Before you know it, your car will be flush with zombies and when that happens they start rocking your car until it tips and then it’s warm brains all round.

 

 

As you get further along the highway and destroy more zombies, you unlock more weapons, levels and cars. The zombies also get stronger and regenerate health which is a total bitch once your ammo runs dry.

It all sounds pretty mundane, but trust me, you can easily sink three hours into this game without even breaking a sweat.

Bashing zombies into shit is possibly one of the most satisfying things I’ve ever done in a game, and for that reason I’m stopping this post right now.

It’s cutting into my zombie-bashing time.

TOTAL TIME WASTED: At least 8 hours and counting… 
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 85%
FINAL VERDICT: If you own an iPad or iPad2, there’s no conceivable reason why you shouldn’t download this game. It’s smaller than 20MB, doesn’t cost a cent and is awesome. Case closed.

-ST

05
Sep
11

Benjamin Franklin – The Original Badass

By SlickTiger 2 Comments
Categories: Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

franklin2As a blogger, there’s no better feeling in the goddamn WORLD than having your phone ring and picking it up to hear, “Hey Slicky-T, there’s a collection for you at reception.”

That exact thing happened to me last week after I returned from collecting my shiny new iPad2. It was like the universe was saying, “No more stray cats for supper Slick. Here’s some cool free stuff for toughing it out and always being rad.”

And that’s how I got my hands on a bottle of some fine 12 year old Oude Meeste brandy and got a free history lesson about a man I had no idea was such a badass.

I’m talking about author, printer, political theorist, politician, postmaster, scientist, musician, inventor, satirist, civic activist, statesman, diplomat and lady-killer Benjamin Franklin, whose face adorns every bottle of Oude Meeste brandy, including the one I’m making out with in the pic below.

 

 

Here are some neat facts I learned about The Dude Meister thanks to the print-out that came with the drop:

1. He was one of 17 kids, all fathered by the same man, Josiah Franklin who enjoyed making soap, candles and his wives pregnant.

2. He spent a grand total of one year in school and then started working as an apprentice to his brother, who was a printer and who treated young Benny like a total douche.

3. Among other things he gave us bifocal glasses, clean burning stoves, lending libraries, fire brigades, the first insurance company, swimming flippers and political cartoons.

 

 

4. Chicks worshipped the ground he walked on and not because he was a playa, because he was always legit, respected women and treated them as equals.

5. Even though he was the world’s biggest celebrity of the 18th century, he kept his affairs private and and was highly annoyed by the fact that people were always trying to get up in his biznizz the whole time and found gossip intensely irritating.

6. The French loved him. Read that sentence again very carefully. When have the French ever loved something that’s not French?

7. Besides signing the Declaration Of Independence, he negotiated treaties with Great Britain, France, Germany, Sweden, Germany and Spain that helped secure America’s place in the world.

8. He was humble. He worked hard and had no time for anyone who thought of themselves as special just because they were rich and famous. He was a salt of the earth kind of guy, not someone who started out cool and then turned into a prissy, whiny little bitch the minute he became successful.

The gift from Oude Meeste was also to announce that the brand has chosen a new master – “a man who embodies the hard-working spirit and unending dedication that Franklin represents.”

And this man, ladies and gentlemen, is Jamie Foxx.

 

 

Which is an interesting choice and one I can almost guarantee you was a product of the Oude Meeste marketing department reverse engineering a “master” that fits the target market they are trying to reach, but still, Foxx was the first African-American actor, and only the second man in history, to be nominated for two Oscars in the same year for two different movies, so that deserves some kudos.

It’s not quite signing the document that came to represent a moral standard on which the American Nation is built, but hey it’s still a damn side more than you or I have ever achieved, let’s be honest.

Check out the new ad with Foxx here, and decide for yourself if the new master has the stones to top ol’ Benjamin F, the original badass.

-ST

02
Sep
11

The Story Of SlickTiger And The iPad2

By SlickTiger 4 Comments
Categories: Being Slick
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

mc950Twitter, I learned yesterday, is not the place to announce to the world that you’ve just won an iPad2. Either no one cares, or they’re jealous as hell and hate you instantly.

Still doesn’t change the fact that I won an iPad2 though, and not for a competition I entered but rather because we were chosen as one of the top agencies in a global campaign I worked on.

That’s right, a GLOBAL CAMPAIGN bitches! They don’t call me SlickTiger for nothing y’know – I’m out there in the front lines every day working my ass off because it’s fight or die in this life and I’m really bad at dying.

But anyway, I digest.

 

 

So after some tussles with the kind folks at the post office who demanded R1 420 bail for my iPad (all good though, global took care of it) I finally took the iPad2 home tonight and started making sweet love to it.

First thing that strikes you about it, as with all Apple’s products, is how goddamn beautifully simple and elegant the packaging is. I even filmed myself peeling off the plastic envelope the iPad2 is packaged in, because it felt like a crime not to.

Once it’s on all the screen shows is a USB cable and an arrow pointing to the iTunes icon.

 

 

“What do you think it means…?” I whispered to J-Rab.

“Um, connect to iTunes via the USB cable would be my first guess,” she replied.

“Yeah… connect to iTunes… via… USB cable…” I repeated.

So I fired up the MacBook and did just that. Then I excitedly stared at the iPad screen to find nothing had happened.

“Says here to check for the latest version of iTunes,” J-Rab offered helpfully, which we did and kapow! It started installing updates – 1.47GB of updates!

“What the fucking fuck is it doing?! It can’t download that many updates, that’s like my entire month’s bandwidth in one fucking night! Where the fuck does it think we live, KOREA?!”

 

 

“Just calm down,” J-Rab said, stopping the download and looking at “Details”. “See there? It’s trying to install the latest operating system, that’s why it’s a gig, just uncheck that and all the rest of this bullshit… there. iTunes update – 96MB.”

“Fuck yeah! Now go make me a sammich!” I said as she playfully punched me in the balls.

Soon as iTunes was updated the iPad2 magically came to life and started asking politely for its SIM card.

“What a fucking cool little guy!” I said in amazement, “He’s come alive and wasted no time in getting straight to the point. Hand over my 3G modem babe, let’s dig the SIM card out and give this little fella a brain!”

Ten minutes later (it took me awhile to figure out how to open the SIM card slot ok?) I had the SIM card tray ejected and ready to accept my SIM card… only… the tray looked really small…

“Is it just me or is this tray really small?” I asked J-Rab.

“It says here ‘Insert micro SIM card’. Is that a micro SIM card?”

“What the fuck is that?! Aren’t regular SIM cards small enough!”

“Apparently not…”

“Wait, what if we cut this one a little so it fits, won’t that work?”

“No.”

“Fuck.”

 

 

And thus ended our first night with our new iPad2. But not before we dicked around with the PhotoBooth application for at least half an hour – MAN that app is cool. If the others are anywhere near as badass, I have a feeling my life is about to become so rad no one will be able to handle it!

In the meantime, anyone know how I get my hands on a micro SIM card? Free *5s for whoever can help a nigga out.

Have a killer weekend guys, we’ll pick this up on Monday again, same time, same place Winking smile

-ST