Posts Tagged ‘H2O

16
May
12

Okes Who Like To Klap It #14: Mullet CHarna

By SlickTiger 3 Comments
Categories: Klapping It
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

he-manHazit boychays and belters!

Remember sometimes ago when I wrote about how once in awhile a charna comes along who is a boychay who is a insp-HIRATION to other boychays, a oke who is UNAFRAID to flippin become a MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE like the ultimate gym-klapper of all time and my personal hero HE-OKE?

Ja, well that charna, who okes now call THE CHOSEN CHARNA, has done a flippin OFF THE CHAIN video he asked me to put up a few days ago but I forgot because I was in court after this thing that happened at Tiger Tiger where I took too much JUICE and put some okes in hospital.

I mean seriously?! How’s this: this bloody moffie-oke comes up to me and has the flippin’ BALLS to say “Sorry man, have you got a light?”

I mean, what a CHOP! “Seriously oke,” I said to him, “are you chewing a brick or are you looking at me? Either way you gonna LOSE YOUR TEETH!”

But forget that kak. Check out this schweet video, which has all my 3 favourite things: charnas, doof-doof music and H20!

 

 

But wait okes! It get’s better!

If you’re one of the first 50 okes to leave a comment after this post, you’ll get a free, flippin’ MASSIVE-SIZED poster* of that very charna from the video that you can hang on your living room that looks like this:

 

 

BE a charna, GET the belters and be the AWESOMEST OKE YOU CAN BE.

FISTSPLOSION!

-ST

 

*A4 MASSIVE BOET! OTHER LEVEL SHIT CHARNA!

06
Apr
10

Friends Wanted: Cape Town

By SlickTiger 13 Comments
Categories: Killer Posts and Satire, Irony And Vitriol
Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

A month ago, my chick and me moved to Cape Town coz of a job she got offered, even though a lot of my mates back in Joeys warned us not to.

‘All they ever do down there,’ my mates warned, ‘is smoke dagga and not much else. Also, the people are clicky and won’t be your friend unless you’re rich.’

Of course, I thought my mates were just pulling my leg and having a good lag at their chommie making the big move down to the Cape, but as it turns out, they were right about one thing.

Flip, okes down here smoke a lot of dagga.

 

 

And also, I dunno if it’s coz they get parries or something, but my mates were also right about another thing, it’s flippin’ clicky down here and nobody wants to talk to you.

I’ve introduced myself with a big friendly smile and a firm handshake to every oke I’ve met down here, and not one of them has wanted to be my friend.

Now, because we have no one to chill with, my girlfriend and I drink TWICE as much brandy and coke as we used to and often she carries on about how we have no friends now and I have to klap her to get her to just bladdy shuddup.

And so, I’d like to use this website as a way of making some new mates down here in The Cape, some real okes who I can be chommies with and who have girlfriends that can help mine in the kitchen when we braai.

To attract the right kind of mates, I’ve made a list of me and my girlfriend’s hobbies, which includes:

  • Braais
  • Fighting
  • Gym
  • Watching the game at the pub
  • Drinking
  • Fighting
  • H2O (the doof doof party, not the stuff in bottles)
  • Jetskis
  • Fighting

So if there are any okes and chicks in The Cape who enjoy similar hobbies and wanna be mates with me and my girlfriend, please leave your details in the comments section below.

Also, if you could please be rich and good-looking, that will help us a lot, cause we’re rich and good-looking too. Here’s a picture of us as proof:

 

 

I look forward to hearing back from you ous soon!

Your-soon-to-be-chommie-from-Joeys

-ST