Posts Tagged ‘golden china

10
Jun
14

Realistic Mario Videos Started Well, But Then…

Realistic MarioI’m living out one of my childhood dreams at the moment and it’s rad. You guys remember Super Mario 3? With the raccoon suit? I LOVED that game when I was a kid but only ever played it on friend’s consoles.

I got pretty far in the game but never finished it because the Golden China console my buddies had at the time was so glitchy if you even nudged it slightly the game literally disintegrated.

I bought a Wii U almost a year ago, during which time I’ve played exactly three games on it – The Cave (average), Super Mario 3D World (brilliant) and yep, you guessed it, Super Mario 3.

They’ve faithfully ported that old classic onto the Wii, you can buy it from the Nintendo eStore for a paltry R60, and yes, it’s just as radass as you remember it.

It’s also pretty interesting to see how many things they introduced in Mario 3 that have stayed with the series ever since. It was a big game changer for the franchise at the time so that’s what I tell J-Rab – I’m not schloomfing on my ass playing crusty old TV games, I’m conducting “historical research” goddamnit!

Playing Mario obsessively also jogged this memory from the Dark Time Of No Blogging I recently went through of a radass video Civilian sent me called “Realistic Mario”, check it out:

 

 

Hahahaha! LOLZ yo! Having watched and enjoyed that one I dug a little deeper and found some more.

Like this one simply titled “Realistic Mario: Underwater”.

Anyone guess where this is going?

 

 

Huh. Quite funny. The fish eating them is a nice touch.

Then there’s “Realistic Mario: Yoshi” in which shit goes fucking bananas:

 

 

I liked the wet chewing noises. Classy.

And just in case you were even considering lunch, here’s “Realistic Mario: Koopa Shells”:

 

 

Not gonna lie, I think making the Koopa shells do that every time you jumped on them would actually be pretty rad. Satisfying…

But no, that shit is fucked up and wrong – how the hell would you kick the shells into other Koopas if they just caved in like that?!

Tiger out.

-ST

16
Sep
11

Awesome work time-wasters (part vii)

famicomWhat were those old-school consoles called that flooded the SA market back when we were kids? The NES rip-offs with the red rectangular controllers? “Golden China” or some shit like that?

Anyway, there was a time when all the kids had one (except me. Christ I was deprived) and spent hour after hour mercilessly bashing the buttons to classics like Contra, Megaman and Super Mario, their brains slowly turning to gloop while they forgot how to do basic things like read and go to the loo unassisted.

Well what if I told you they’ve rolled all those rad old games into ONE?! That’s right. Hold onto your balls.

Courtesy of SupaDan, A TFW regular and total badass, I present to you SUPER MARIO BROS CROSSOVER!

 

 

“What’s better than playing Super Mario?” I ask you with tears in my eyes. PLAYING SUPER MARIO AS ONE OF EIGHT CLASSIC NES CHARACTERS THAT’S WHAT!

Sorry, too much shouting. I am quite hungover at present and my volume switch isn’t working properly.

 

 

So yeah, hit this link to check out this classic work time waster and thank me later. Ever wanted to blast turtles to kingdom come as Megaman? Or what about thrash the shit out of anything in your path with that creepy dude from Castlevania’s flame whip? Well, I’m here to tell you that you can!

You can even play as Sophia III, a dumb-looking tank-thing that has about 350 special abilities.

Only thing that gets irritating are the tutorial messages. There are about 15 (seriously) that you have to wade through before you can so much as squash a mushroom dude.

TOTAL TIME WASTED: About 1hr. Then the nostalgia value wore off and I carried on with my life
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 65%
FINAL VERDICT: Meh. In my hungover state I may have overhyped this one slightly. If anyone needs me, I’ll be passed out in a cubicle in the men’s room…

-ST