I once rote in the SlickTiger Guide To Klapping Gym, Boet that in a gym situhation, a oke is NOTHING without his charnas but in a LIFE situhation, a oke is NOTHING without his balls.
A oke’s balls contains all his POWER. Think about it, what is in balls? SPERM, boet! And what is in sperm? PROTEIN, boet! And what does protein make? MUSCLES, boet!
So what does a oke need to seriously klap it on a other level? BALLS, CHARNA! It’s time to catch a flippin WAKE UP, you gotta look after your balls and THAT’S why you’re gonna join Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas and run for your balls in a red speedo.
That’s right ma boychays – the DAREdevil Run 2013 is happening again in Cape Town not this Friday, but next (8th Nov) and I’m entering a team of buff charnas who care about their balls and the balls of others to run with me along Seapoint Promenade in red speedos in the middle of the afternoon.
Because I know some of you are a bit dof, here’s 8 good reasons to join Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas:
1. You get a BUFF!
In flippin TIGERSTRIPES! That you can keep for LIFE and that will always show other okes that you are a BUFF CHARNA who runned to raise BALL AWARENESS.
2. You start at the front of the race!
That’s right, you heard me. Team Tiger okes get the VIP treatment and start the race right at the front, how flippin BUFF is that?!
3. You get to look TIT in a red speedo in public!
Think about all those weights you’ve been klapping, now it’s the time to show ous some RESULTS boet! The BELTERS love a oke in a budgy-smuggler who is MASSIVE AND RIPPED with a schweet tan running down the road. Take your muscles for a lekker jog ma boych, nothing wrong.
5. You never have to train legs again FOR A YEAR!
Look, I’m not big on training legs. My legs workout is EVERY DAY when they carry my MASSIVE UPPER BODY around the place. But ja. Okes say legs training is important or some kak.
At just under 5kms, the DAREdevil Run is the perfect length for a buff gym charna like yourself to finish without his heart exploding while still getting a schweet leg workout.
5. You could be saving not just your balls, but your LIFE
A lot of ous around the world lose their balls or worse because of cancer or they get cancer of the prostrate because they never check themselfs because they still think that you must let a ou slip a digit up your poephol to check if everything’s ok up there.
I’m here to tell you ous that this is 2013 charna. Ous have invented flying cars and flippin robots from the future that look like Arnold Schwartezeneggra, you seriously think you still need to let some ou in a rubber glove fiddle with your naught? Boedie, this isn’t Bronx on a Saturday night.
No, just a tiny finger prick for a drop of blood will tell you if you must worry or not and just doing that once a year can save your balls AND your life.
Those are my reasons okes, so now that you’re read them and want to join Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas, this is what you must do.
Are you listening closely? Flip man, CONCENTRATE oke, I’m only going to repeat this once.
Ok. Here’s what you do.
STEP ONE = REGISTER FOR THE RACE BY CLICKING THESE WORDS (it costs R100 including your flippin TIT red speedo).
STEP 2 = click THIS BUTTON:
Got that? That button just up there, click it and you will automatically be part of Team Tiger And The Buff Charnas.
How flippin’ easy was that?!?
On the other hand, if you aren’t a Twitterer, just write YOUR NAME in the comments to join Team Tiger. Just YOUR NAME boet. If you get stuck, check in your wallet, I usually find that helps. Or call your mom, she’ll know.
Closer to raceday I’ll tell you BUFF OUS where to meet to get your schweet TIGER BUFFS.
In the meantime register, join Team Tiger and let’s be BUFF CHARNAS who care about their balls and the balls of others together.
KLAP IT OKES!
-ST
In history, ous remember the heroes. They remember the 300 charnas with lekker six packs and red cloaks kicking other ous down a hole because they don’t know that that was SPARTA.
