Is that right? VIII – that’s eight hey? What the hell am I going to do when I get past 10, you guys are going to have to help me out after that. Any Roman numeral experts out there? Ten is X right?
Anyway, let’s do a work time-waster shall we? Your boss is gonna fucking LOVE this one
Big up to my main man Skatter who sent this through to tellthetiger@gmail.com last week. Following the popularity of CycloManiacs, here’s another cycling game that is sure to get your ass FIRED, BITCH!
It’s called “Canvas Rider†and it goes a little something… like this…
You’re a dude. A stickdude to be precise, and you cruise around doing sweet jumps and trying to complete these rad levels that people draw and upload for you to try out. YOU can even draw the levels. Yeah! You! What do you mean you can’t draw?! That doesn’t fucking matter, I can’t draw and look what I made!
Yeah. Um. I should probably stick with writing…
So you can play a whole bunch of tracks that people with WAY better drawing skills than me have created, like this one: SNOWY MOUNTAIN SCENE! Fucking impossible to play, but you have to admire the effort this person went to, too crazy!
That one’s called Chillwind Woods, it’s basically impossible to finish so yeah, if you die about a bajillion times trying to nail it, that’s pretty much par for the course.
If you want something a little easier, but also amazingly well designed, check out Wild West:
There are a shitload of courses to fuck around on, even this one where you get to ride on boobs! Boobs I tell you!
Also, you can die in the most spectacular ways. I honestly never knew a stickman could do the things this little feller does when he wipes out. It HURTS to watch him fail and he fails A LOT.
They also change things up a little by adding green triangles, yellow triangles, red dots and all manner of shit that fuck with your gravity and add a whole other dimension to some of the courses.
The challenge here is to finish Wild West though. If you can do that, you’re a better cycler than me my good man and you’ll get the satisfaction of going to sleep tonight KNOWING that, which no one can ever, ever take away from you.
Of course, you’ll lose your job, but it will have been SO worth it.
TOTAL TIME WASTED: At least 5hrs all in all and counting. The beauty of this one is there are so many tracks to play it takes ages to get old
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 73.21%
FINAL VERDICT: Definitely a solid time waster this one. I’d challenge anyone out there to top this bad boy.
-ST