Posts Tagged ‘buff charna

06
Jun
13

Okes Who Like To Klap It #22: TOOTHSTA YO YO YO!

By SlickTiger 7 Comments
Categories: Klapping It
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

9368_492347934167522_1313669089_nOkes, lemme tell you that I flippin flippin flippin LOVE the interwebs. Just when you think you’ve seen every kind of MASSIVE AND RIPPED charna, the interwebs shows you another MASSIVER AND MORE RIPPED CHARNA!

The oke I’m about to interduce you to is KLAPPING IT on a level that I never knowed possible. I think you know already the ou I’m talking about, none other than the flippin SHREDDED MACHINE, TOOTHSTA!

I learned of this flippin BOYCHAY through a ou who twittered me a link to the Toothsta Vleisbook page and I was like, “Schweet. Whatever. A buff charna. Whatever. I make shits bigger than this ou.”

But then I took a deeper look and what I saw were an oke who inbodied the guide what I wrote about KLAPPING GYM in every flippin way!

You ous remember that one hey? Remember the point about your charnas and how you are NOTHING in a gym situation, or even a life situation, without your charnas? Flip oke, you don’t need to tell Toothsta kak like that, check out him and his mates:

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another thing from the guide that this ou knows all about is how to klap so much protein and supplerments that his protein baffs can literally kill a ou from 20 paces.

You want to tell this charna about nutritional foods to klap for breakfast? Are you flippin joking?!

Check out this ou’s breakfast – OFF. THE. CHAIN.

 

 

So ja, I saw that and were lank impressed, but then I saw the ou’s flippin LUNCH and I nearly BAILED off my flippin’ CHAIR!

 

 

I knowed there were something missing from my flippin gym diet of 3 whey protein shake, Jack 3D, crehatine, 6 tins of tuna a day, 10 egg whites, two bags of biltong (500g), 10 chicken breasts, 2 steakes for supper and dangerous ANABOLIC STEROIDS IN MY ARSE for desert – it was actual flippin’ ROCKS!

I’ve just inboxed Toothsta to find out what kind of rocks those are, I’ll post a follow up to let you ous know and find out if you have to buy them from a shop or if you can just steal them off a mountain or some kak like that.

The other thing about this ou that I seriously admire are his indepth knowlege about BELTERS and how flippin USELESS AND LAZY they are.

 

 

I mean if that isn’t KLAPPING THE NAIL ON THE HEAD then I dunno what flippin is! Fucking hippos, I mean honestly boet…

So anyway, if you’re seriously into KLAPPING IT, LOOKING TIT and becoming a SHREDDED MACHINE then here are a link to this ou’s Facebook page, click it, like this ou and thank me later.

Oh and also, by the way, did you know this ou are going to be in the SA version of Jersey Shores?

Check THIS shit out, yo yo yo!

 

 

I rest my case. If you not KLAPPING IT, you ‘MIRIN BOET!

Toothsta, you my flippin HERO you LEGEND! Please don’t forget to inbox me back and let me know about those rocks, ok boet?

Schweet.

-ST

01
Feb
13

Okes Who Like To Klap It #20: Brett van Rooyen

By SlickTiger 2 Comments
Categories: Killer Posts, Klapping It and Satire, Irony And Vitriol
Tags: , , , , , ,

Brett's HeadI tell you, time flys hey okes? Jus-laaik, I can remember back in 2010 when I first wrote the “SlickTiger Guide To Klapping Gym Boet” and ous were like, “Boedie, you have written the gym BIBLE charna!”

One of those ous was a lekker charna of mine Brett van Rooyen who wrote to me and was like, “Slick, I’m a lank skinny oke what can’t pull lekker cherries. Please help me boet, I wanna be exactly like YOU!”

So of course being the good oke that I am I was like, “Brett my boedie, don’t SQUEEZE A SALTIE, lemme come pick you up, I’ll take you vest shopping, then we can grab schweet spray tans, smash lekker dangerous anabolic steroids into our butts and KLAP SOME GYM, BOET!”

It weren’t easy in the beginning, I’m not gonna lie. I mean, Brett was big into his cardio as the picture of him below shows:

 

 

In the beginning he was like, “Slick, I’ll NEVER be like you, all MASSIVE AND RIPPED in the interwebs, writing like a proper gym boychay and making ous lag, you are the ORIGINAL interwebs CHARNA! No oke can EVER beat that!”

But I chooned ol’ Brett straight, I was like, “Brett boedie, one thing you must unnerstand about the interwebs is that you can flippin go NUTS stealing another oke’s shit, copying EVERYTHING that another oke does and getting lank famous for it. Stealing other oke’s kak is what the interwebs was INVENTED FOR boet, are you dof or something?!”

And so with my help and enough roids to kill a elephant, Brett started KLAPPING IT on a whole other level and three years later, THIS is how FLIPPIN’ TIT the ou looks:

 

 

The next thing Brett knew, he was banging TWO BLONDE BELTERS at the same time, every night! He was my greatest cre-hation and jassie the ou made me proud.

I’ve never knowed a oke to take so many shots in the bum, I mean JUS-LAAIK! Just when I used to think “One more shot and this oke’s arse will be so sore he won’t be able to walk straight” Brett would be like, “C’mon Slicky! Another shot boet! I scheme I can handle it charna!”

After that, there was only one thing to do to be completely like me and that was write like a doos on the interwebs. At first Brett was like, “Slick, I really wanna write for that kak funny site ‘Hayibo’ boet, do you scheme they’ll schmaak me?”

But I was like, “Brett ma charn, a oke like you is too good for a kak site like that. Have you heard of The Gatsby? It’s exactly like Hayibo boedie only with a different name, you’ll fit in there lank well hey?”

 

 

And Brett, that flippin BOYCHAY, we went for his dream to be exactly like his hero Slicky-T and jassie did he KLAP THE SHIT out of that dream or what?! I mean hell, reading that ous BUFF movie reviews you could almost swear it was ol Slicky-T his self writing them.

Read this first one the ous done for a movie about miserable lesbians or some kak like that, it’s on ANOTHER LEVEL!

The oke has come so far from that moff cardio kid I met back in 2010.

Brett you legend, keep KLAPPING IT BOEDIE, I’m so proud of you charn.

-ST

12
Apr
12

Awesome Work Time-Wasters (Part XI)

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Awesome Work Time Wasters
Tags: , , , , , ,

Burrito Bison1It has been a long-ass time since I posted an epic work time-waster because awhile back I saw that Mr Dan Nash also posts time wasters so I felt bad copying the dude.

But then I got over that because the way I see it, the more time we can get you to waste at work the better. We’re taking the power back people, KAPOW!

So I jumped on Kongregate to see what rad stuffs they got there and came across a game I know you guys are gonna go apeshit for. Sit tight people, unemployment is just a click away…

The game’s called Burrito Bison Revenge and it definitely gets the Tiger Stamp Of Badassery because FLIP BOET! The oke in it is MASSIVE AND RIPPED CHARNA!

 

 

The game is pretty simple, you catapult your underpant-clad buff bison-headed wrestler off the ropes of a wrestling ring to send him sailing through the air and then perform a series of “rocket slams” to squash jelly gummy bears who are fleeing from you in terror.

You earn cash dollar every time you squish gummy bears which you can use to unlock different gummy bears and upgrade your speed, strength and general bounciness.

The look and feel of the game are both awesome and the faster and bouncier your buff charna gets and the more rad gummies you unlock, the better the game gets.

 

 

Kongregate only choose the most killer games for their site and Burrito Bison Revenge is a fine example of that.

TOTAL TIME WASTED: I’m keeping this one strictly to post 5.30pm office time so I’ve sunk about 2hrs into it so far, but reckon I’ve got at least another 2 or 3 before I unlock everything.
TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 85%
FINAL VERDICT: Sick graphics, fun, easy gameplay, a flippin’ BUFF CHARNA in kief underpant who MOERS the KAK out of ous, what more could you possible want in a game?

-ST