God I hate bandwagons. Even the word is fucking stupid. What does it even mean? A wagon bands cruise around in? Since fucking when?! And who the fuck would want to jump on one of those?
Anyway. Regardless of what the origin of the term is, EVERYONE is talking about the Kony 2012 video so I figured I would too because site hits are like crack and daddy needs a fix.
The underlying message from the YouTube video about Kony is “make the evil fucker famous so that we can kill himâ€, but if you’re dumb enough to believe that’s the only thing motivating Invisible Children, then stop reading this now.
I’m not going to go into a detailed breakdown of the counter-Kony 2012 arguments doing the rounds on the interwebs at the moment because I know you guys are smart and either know this already or can look it up later, so here’s my take on it all:
- Yes, Kony is a supremely evil person and deserves to die for what he’s done
- Yes, it’s a good thing that now the world is aware of what happened (PAST tense) in Uganda and it’s a good thing that people are uniting across borders for a common cause
- But the fact is, Kony hasn’t been active in Uganda since 2006 and he and his troops no longer occupy the country and are rumoured to have moved to the DRC
- So why campaign to send more American troops into Uganda so long after Kony’s reign of merciless slaughter and brainwashing has ended?
- Oil. Plain and simple. America needs an excuse to get troops in there so they can get their filthy mitts on Uganda’s oil supplies and what better smokescreen than Kony 2012? It’s the Facebook version of 9/11 all sugar-coated and easy to swallow
- Also, only 32% of the profits from Invisible Children go to Uganda. The rest goes into funding more movies and paying everyone working for the organisation’s salaries
- And let’s not forget the powerfully manipulative narrative that underpins the whole Kony 2012 video. Did he have to bring his kid into it? “When I grow up I wanna be like you dad!†Are you fucking serious?! Be wary of anyone who resorts to tactics like that to make you believe something, it is deeply manipulative
But don’t get me wrong, I think uniting people against a man like Kony is a noble cause which is why, in my own way, I’m going to help the cause by making Kony even famouser.
Hold my hand. Let’s save Uganda.
Light the torches and grab a pitchfork.
We all know how this ends 
-ST
