Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category



12
Mar
12

Nokia Lumia 800 First Impressions

Nokia-Lumia-800I’m no tech-junkie, but like most guys I get excited by new gadgets and keep an eye on global and local trends when it comes to technology because it’s an inextricable part of our lives.

Having gone to the launch of the Nokia Lumia phones a few weeks back, I was keen to get my hands on a unit and try it out, so the kind folks at Nokia obliged and a review unit was delivered on Friday.

I waited for Saturday to start playing around with the phone and spent a good 4 hours setting it up and trying it out, so here are some of my first impressions of the Lumia 800.

Form Factor

Ahh, form factor. The obligatory first step in any tech review. There isn’t much to say here except that the Lumia is dead sexy, fits comfotrably in the palm of your hand, is solid without being bulky or obtrusive and has a super sleek feel to it thanks to the curved glass touchscreen.

Its smooth one-piece body is completely buttonless except for the volume, lock and camera buttons on the right side of the phone. And speaking of the camera, Nokia made the genius decision to place the camera lens closer to the middle of the phone, thus reducing the risk of gigantic blurry fingers creeping into your pics.

 

 

It has 3 touch screen buttons along the bottom of the screen to go back, return to the home screen and search.

I got the cyan handset and I’ll be honest here and admit that the next time I’m in a meeting / hanging out with friends / sitting at home by myself I’ll definitely be whipping that bad boy out and putting it on the table in front of me all nonchalantly whilst silently congratulating myself for being such an awesome guy.

 

Micro SIM

Like all new generation smartphones, the Lumia 800 uses a micro SIM instead of a normal one, something I found really frustrating when I was playing around with the Nokia N9 because it meant I had to pay R70 to get a micro SIM, do a SIM swap, wait 2 hours for it to go through and then throw my old SIM card away (it’s useless after the SIM swap), only to repeat the entire process in reverse after the review.

This time around I decided not to be a complete douche about it and just cut my normal SIM into a micro SIM using the micro SIM from my iPad as a template and it actually worked.

 

 

This came as a big surprise to me as I’d used a Stanley Knife and some hair scissors to do the job and thought I’d definitely botched it completely. Instead I NAILED IT, poured myself a whisky and silently congratulated myself for being such an awesome guy.

Firing it up

The first two things that struck me about the Lumia 800 were the responsiveness of the touch screen and how super-simple the menu navigation is.

You basically work entirely off two screens – your home screen that has all your tiles (these can be anything from apps to websites to calendar entries to email accounts) and the page you swipe right to that lists more tiles you can choose to pin to your homepage.

 

 

What I LOVED about the Lumia 800 is that it doesn’t keep every app / tile open in the background when you navigate to different places on the phone.

So when you hold down the back button and it brings up a screen with all your open tasks, unless you’ve been hitting the windows button to shortcut back to your home screen, you should only see one open task window.

Otherwise the back button is really all you need to navigate with. Genius in it’s simplicity!

People

I’d heard about “people” at the Lumia launch and was dead keen to try this feature of the Windows 7 phone out. The idea is that you start by signing in to all your accounts (Windows Live / Hotmail, Gmail, Facebook, Twitter, X-Box Live, etc.) and with each successful sign in, your phone pulls all kinds of information from each account and starts populating your phone with contacts, posts, tweets and emails.

I found the experience completely seamless and surprisingly fun to go through (GeekTiger?). Of course, it will pull duplicate and sometimes triplicate contacts (I save all my friends on my phone SIM under their nicknames, so in some cases I had their Facebook details, their details from my SIM and their email addresses as three separate entries), but it’s dead easy to fix by just linking contacts.

In most cases the Lumia 800 correctly predicted who was who and suggested possible links, which made the whole process even simpler.

 

 

Thirty minutes later, a casual scroll through “people” revealed basically every human I’ve ever met in my ENTIRE LIFE, neatly organised with thumbnail pics for each entry. Opening a contact (like my good buddy Action, for example), now gives me the option to call him, SMS him, Facebook chat with him, write on his Facebook wall, mention him on Twitter, send him an email, map his home address, map his work address and visit his website.

It also tells me his job title, when his birthday is and who his “significant other” is, which made the stalker in me do backflips with joy.

Barring his childhood dreams and general philosophy on life, I know pretty much everything about Action now and with three touches can communicate with him in any number of ways.

The one thing that confused me though, and maybe I was being a retard, was that you aren’t given the option to chat with contacts using Gmail. What am I missing here guys? Help SlickRetard please.

 

 

That’s all the time we have for today’s Nokia Lumia 800 review. I’ll be writing a whole series of posts as I get into the nuts and bolts of this phone, but my initial impression and user experience has been pretty damn slick.

Which, when you’re SlickTiger, is where it’s at yo.

Peace.

-ST

08
Mar
12

The World’s Most Cliched Break-Up Lines Translated

breakupBreaking up is kak. Any way you spin it, it’s difficult to walk away from a person you’re emotionally invested in whether it’s casual or not.

But worse than that is trying to explain why things aren’t working out, which is why people always fall back on the time honoured “It’s not you, it’s me” break-up clichés.

But what do these overused lines actually mean? Our good friend the internet knows the answer to that question, and has tabulated the somewhat harsh results in the jpeg to follow. Apologies if on your internet travels you’ve seen these before, but here are the world’s most clichéd break-up lines translated. Eina.

 

 

No prizes for guessing the person who wrote that was probably recently dumped.

That’s a bit negative hey? What’s with all the negative posts these days – yesterday it was people riddled with cancer and today it’s break-up lines translated, not cool Slick. Not cool at all.

So to lighten things up a little, here are things men commonly say translated, courtesy of MIStupid:

 

"I’M GOING FISHING"
Translated: "I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by the ocean with a stick in my hand while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"IT’S A GUY THING"
Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you, as a woman, have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated: "Why isn’t it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated: Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT’S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Translated: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD."
Translated: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Translated: "I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop’, the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the year/make and model of every vehicle I’ve ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES."
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON’T FUSS – IT’S JUST A CUT, IT’S NO BIG DEAL."
Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before admitting that it hurts or that I did it to myself."

"HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING."
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN’T FIND IT."
Translated: "I looked in one likely spot and it didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless as to where it is. I need you to use your intra-uterine radar and find it for me."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated: "What did you catch me at?"

"I HEARD YOU."
Translated: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next 3 hours yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse." …OR… "But I could enjoy having sex with almost anyone between the ages of 18 and 50."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated: "Oh, Goodness, please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving and have to pee."

"I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated: "It’s possible that no one will ever see us alive again."

Anyone remember getting the email a few years back with things women say translated? Hit me up on tellthetiger@gmail.com if you still have it.

As you were.

-ST

07
Mar
12

Siff Ciggy Warnings

cigswarningsSouth African smokers should count their lucky stars (strikes?) we don’t have graphic warnings on the cigarette boxes in this country.

Until that day comes, I say go wild! Light up and puff away in a happy little cloud of blue / grey smoke, blissfully unaware of what lies ahead for the pack-a-day smoker 40 years from now.

For our compadres in Thailand it’s a little more difficult to turn a blind eye to the damage smoking does because every box of cigarettes sold there looks like the editors of rotten.com supplied the artwork.

Yeah. Probably don’t read the rest of this.

It wasn’t until we were in the duty free airport heading home that we actually got a good look at the cigarette boxes in Thailand.

Any Dunhill smokers out there? If this doesn’t make you quit nothing will…

 

 

What in the name of everything holy are they putting in the goddamn cigarettes over there?!

Are you telling me that just smoking did that to people? Wow. I feel ill.

And if smoking did do that, then surely at some point you must wake up and think to yourself, “Huh. I seem to have a freakishly large, oozing sore on the right hand side of my face that gets steadily worse every time I smoke. I’d better cut down a little…”

If nothing else, those pictures are a powerful testament to the self-destructive nature of addiction.

Forget what I said earlier. Let’s none of us get to that point, ok?

You’re all too damn ridiculously good-looking to go down that road.

Siff.

-ST

14
Feb
12

The Mammogram Post

MammogramI don’t vent often on this site, but my girlfriend J-Rab went for a mammogram yesterday and had a really crappy, uncomfortable experience that I felt I had to share because if this is what other girls have to go through then we have a serious problem.

It is a well-documented fact that the best and most powerful way of beating cancer is through early detection and treatment.

It’s something the CANSA association and numerous health administrations in South Africa and the world encourage people to do in order to beat a disease that affects an average of one in four people in their lifetime.

J-Rab has been understandably upset and freaked out over the past few weeks because she’s been experiencing pain in her breasts, and was referred by her GP to have a mammogram – not because she was being paranoid or oversensitive but because, though she’s only in her late 20s, she has a history of breast cancer in her family and was genuinely worried something might be wrong.

For the benefit of my male readers, let it be known that going for a mammogram, much like prostate examinations for men, is something women genuinely loathe having to go through.

When radiologists perform mammograms, they basically squash a woman’s breast tissue as flat as it will go which is an uncomfortable enough experience to have to go through, never mind the fact that they go through it half naked.

In J-Rab’s case, the first part of the procedure, painful as it was, wasn’t too bad. She got undressed and had the mammogram done by a female radiologist who made her feel as comfortable as the procedure would allow.

Once that was over, a male doctor came in to perform the ultrasound who was so rude and dismissive towards her that he had the nerve to say (and I quote) “Why are you doing this at such a young age?” to which she replied that she’d been experiencing pain in her right breast and that, because there is a history of breast cancer in her family, she wanted to get in checked out.

“Pain is no indication of cancer,” he told her abruptly, like she was an idiot for ever thinking something might be wrong. He then scanned her half-heartedly, gave the scans a cursory glance, grunted “there’s nothing here” and marched out of the room without even saying goodbye to her.

Instead of feeling relieved that her scans were clear, J-Rab left with an uneasy feeling like there might have been something the doctor overlooked and like she’d been violated in some way.

Is this the kind of behaviour that women have to put up with when going through a difficult, potentially life-changing ordeal?

And more importantly, what kind of doctor treats his patients like that? Like they’re wasting his time by checking that they aren’t sick with a life-threatening disease?

It makes me furious me that someone in the medical profession would treat an issue like this in such a dismissive and callous way.

If you have such a low regard for your patients and what they might be going through, then do us all a favour and quit because by behaving like that you’re only making a bad situation worse.

-ST

09
Feb
12

Brilliant Illustrations By Ben Chen

636x460design_01Before we jump into this, let it be known that I am stealing this shamelessly from My Modern Met, so big up to them for being so cool about it.

I’m gonna let these illustrations speak for themselves because they are too awesome for words. So yeah, all I’m doing at the moment is rambling for 100 words so that I can nail the intro paragraph.

How many dead babies can you fit in a barrel? 57. How do you get a fat chick in bed? Piece of cake. Why do they call it a “pap smear”? Because if they called it a “cunt scrape” no one would go. Aaand we’re good.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s even better is you can buy some of these as T-shirts from Threadless so I wouldn’t even fuck around if I were you.

I go out and buy them this very second before your Tiger pal buys up ALL the stock.

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Depends if the lightbulb WANTS to change.

[SFX: Crickets]

-ST

03
Feb
12

The Night Slicky-T Kakked His Broeke

real-ghost-picturesI got good and loaded a couple of weeks back at The Shack playing pool and drinking whisky and made the rookie error of giving my card to the barman so he’d open a tab for me.

Suffice to say, I staggered home on foot (we live about 5 mins from The Shack) without it, which meant I had to mission back there the following night to pick it up.

It was one of those windy nights in CT where it feels like you’re living in a hurricane, and I was driving along McKenzie street, right by Wembley Square when I saw her.

She had auburn hair and was wearing a grey cardigan and jeans, I guessed she was in her twenties. She was walking down the road, in the middle of the right lane, basically right outside Wembley Square, maybe 30 metres from my car.

The moment I saw her, something caught my attention to my left, a packet or something being whipped around by the wind. Whatever it was, it diverted my attention for maybe half a second while I was driving, and then I looked back to where the girl was.

And she was gone. I’d seen her clear as day, right there in the road walking ahead of me, so real I could touch her and then half a second later, it was like she had never existed.

 

 

At first I thought nothing of it and just carried on driving, but my mind refused to let it go. It was like I was crunching an equation that just wasn’t adding up and instead of forgetting about it, that image of her in the road started looping over and over in my head.

She couldn’t have just ducked off behind a car or something, no one can move that fast, it’s just not humanly possible.

I was halfway to the Engen on Orange when something else about the whole experience struck me that started making my skin crawl.

There was a gale force wind blowing outside and she though she was walking in it, her hair and her clothes didn’t move at all. She wasn’t even bracing herself against the wind, she was just walking down the street like it was a perfectly calm, still evening.

I drove back home with this hollow, anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach and literally sprinted up into the flat to get the hell out of the dark.

It’s the first time I’ve ever experienced anything like that and it still gives me the creeps when I think back on that girl.

What if she’d turned around? What if I’d seen her face?

Anyway. Bit of a fucked up story to tell all you crazy kids right before the weekend. Not really sure why I decided to tell it today of all days except I saw this picture a few minutes ago and it got me thinking of the whole thing all over again.

 

 

So yeah. Have a killer weekend?

-ST

27
Jan
12

Inappropriate Joke Friday Is Back!

tumblr_lf86wsgfIq1qzfpevo1_500Following the resounding success of the first Inappropriate Joke Friday (or IJF, as it’s known in the media), I decided to open the floodgates of my dirty, twisted mind and publish the WORST JOKE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD.

I think it’s fair at this stage to issue a Level 5 Severity Warning to people who might have casually stumbled on this site, are easily offended or are my mom, to just close this window now and walk away.

That’s right, just walk away. Left right left right. There is NO NEED to continue reading any of this and if you do, well, that’s your fault, NOT MINE!

Right, now that that’s out the way, here is the worst joke I have ever heard, as told to me by my good friend JennyJen. Never repeat this to a room full of strangers or they WILL call the police.

Also, keep in mind that while I know this joke, I didn’t think it up myself ok? I’m just repeating it so don’t shoot the messenger if you can’t sleep for a week because of it.

 

 

Ahem.

So little Johnnie is banging his grandma one day, and as he’s going down on her he suddenly tastes horse semen and says, “Oh granny! THAT’S how you died!”

Da dum.

Tsshh.

[SFX: Crickets]

So yeah. The bar has been set. I’m pretty sure you could unleash the very worst jokes you have ever heard and they won’t put even the smallest dent into that one, so come at me bro!

 

 

Most inappropriate joke wins a post in your honour, telling the world what total badass you are, right here on TFW.

Make me proud Winking smile

-ST 

18
Jan
12

Brilliant Retroviral Video

RetroviralA long time ago, before the Dead Sea was even sick (da dum. tssshhh) I quit the job I was working in insurance PR and got a gig with a way cooler company called Tribeca PR doing tech-spin.

I had about 2 weeks to kill between jobs so the crazy kids at Tribeca invited me to a media launch they were handling for the HTC Touch.

I walked into the launch and there was this big lug of a man who greeted me with a hearty handshake and was a loud, sweary, goofy kinda guy who I had no idea would one day start a digital agency as amazing as the one I’m about to show you.

Of course, the big lug I’m referring to is Mike Sharman (THE MAEN!) who founded Retroviral on a collaborative basis with total badasses like Mel Attree, who is Mike’s partner in crime on a lot of projects and definitely the brains of the operation.

 

 

As the video I’m about to show you illustrates, Retroviral has come a LONG way for a company that only celebrates its second birthday this year and now has an official “staff compliment” that includes the mastermind behind one of a small handful of blogs I actually read, Mr Dan Nash himself.

Check it.

 

 

A huge congrats to the Retroviral team. Really looking forward to seeing what you guys come up with in 2012.

In the words of my doff-as-fuck alter ego, KLAP IT CHARNAS!

-ST

20
Dec
11

Today We Take The Easy Way Out

cora-skinner-8Fuck it’s been a hardcore year. It’s not just me right? You guys feel it too, I know this because we are closely connected psychically. I’m in your head right now in fact, that’s my voice you’re hearing – hello!

So yeah. I’m fucking frazzelled guys, seriously. So I’m taking the easy way out today and doing something us bloggers like to refer to as “shooting fish in a barrel” – ie. posting pictures of hotties to get hits.

Absolutely NO intellectual content here whatsoever, just my good friend Cora Skinner (courtesy of Next Round) hanging out in a swimming cozzie.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cool. Feeling better? Great.

Glad I could be of service Winking smile

-ST

19
Dec
11

Wishing You A Calvin & Hobbes Christmas

tumblr_lvliwpwHgf1r74shoo1_250Was there ever a pair of comic book characters more awesome than Calvin and Hobbes? I must have about 8 or 9 collected volumes of Calvin and Hobbes and I think I’ve read them about 5 times each.

Creator Bill Watterson is truly a genius. Calvin & Hobbes is a perfect mixture of wacky humour, philosophy, morality and youthful innocence. It also has a tiger in it, which immediately makes it a winner in my books.

What I really loved about C&H though was how intelligent Calvin is – he sprouts words even I have to look up sometimes and has this dark, twisted sense of humour that I really relate to.

For example, every time it snows, Calvin diligently gets to work building snowmen, but unlike “normal” kids, he takes the medium to a whole other level by building snow scenes that could have been stolen out of a Steven King novel…

 

 

Too awesome.

I must say though, being the big softie that I am, I also really related to the sentimental stuff that Watterson wrote for C&H, especially the Christmas panels.

Here is my favourite C&H Christmas panel so that my street cred as a badass, take-no-shit-from-nobody blogger can be forever tarnished in a gigantic “Awwwwwww!” moment.

 

 

-ST