Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category



14
Dec
12

Ice Cream Tuk-Tuk Fare For The Motherflippin’ Win!

CAPE TOWN, South Africa: Wednesday 12 December 2012, during the launch of the Nestle King Cone Tuk Tuk service during summer.
Photo by Roger SedresUp until February this year I didn’t have a clue what a tuk-tuk even was. Then we went to Thailand and rode a few and I distinctly remember thinking “SA would be a much radder country if we had a few of these…”

And now we do! And what’s even better news is that until February, if you buy a King Cone and flag down a King Cone tuk-tuk, you get to ride around Cape Town for free, eating ice cream!

I mean, that’s pretty flippin’ radass when you think about it. As individual experiences, riding in a tuk-tuk and eating ice cream both rate right up there in terms of fun things to do in summer. Now imagine doing those two things AT THE SAME TIME! Genius!

You can catch a tuk-tuk by calling 083 641 5453, tweeting @Tuksicpt or joining the BBM group (2171028A). Without a King Cone, it will cost you R40 to get around and the tuk-tuks travel along the following routes:

  • City Bowl
  • Sea Point
  • Green Point
  • Camps Bay
  • Bakoven
  • Hout Bay (ad hoc)

That’s not all. Here’s another list of bullet points that gives you the times. Pass the mustard. I’m on a roll.

  • Mon – Tues (08h30 – 17h30)
  • Wed – Sat (08h30 – 01h00)
  • Sun (08h30 – 23h00)

Pretty schweet ne?

 

 

Tuk-tuks only take two people at a time though which makes for a very romantic experience. Wind blowing through your hair, beautiful Cape Town in summer whizzing by, happy people smiling and waving, I mean DAYUM! You’d be an idiot NOT to take one.

In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m going to take one next week WHILE I’M ON HOLIDAY BECAUSE AT THE END OF TODAY I GO ON HOLIDAY BECAUSE HOLIDAYS ARE AWESOME AND I’MSOFLIPPINEXCITEDICANHARDLY SITSTILLYAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Phew! Anyway.

Buy a King Cone. Ride a tuk-tuk.

The end.

-ST

03
Dec
12

Sporadic Posting Forecast W/C 3 Dec

160608773It’s going to be a crazy, balls to the wall week for your Tiger pal this week folks so in all likelihood, he’s probably going to drop the ball a couple of times when it comes to the daily posts you’ve come to expect on TFW.

Rumours will start to spread on the interwebs like wildfire. Twitter will go nuts with critics and naysayers speculating that the Tiger has finally thrown in the towel and given up on The Dream.

Don’t believe a word of it. Next week I’ll be back to flood your lives with my unique brand of batshit-crazy content on a daily, and who knows? Maybe even BI-DAILY basis once my life has calmed down again.

Until then I’ll be in PE, running around like a madman with some SERIOUS boychays and doing what SlickTigers do best – KLAPPING IT!

So wish me luck out there and whatever happens, know that the Tiger will be back to reclaim his rightful place as king of the interwebs jungle once the madness has subsided.

Later Party People Winking smile

-ST

21
Sep
12

I Don’t Fucking Feel Like This Right Now

fuck itIt’s not often that I pull the “I don’t fucking feel like this right now” card, but I think after posting nearly every week day, sometimes more than once, whilst holding down a full-time day job, I’m entitled to just say “Fuck It” once in awhile.

I’ve gone through so many different phases during the three years I’ve been doing this it’s fucking insane.

I’ve been constantly testing the waters, feeling this shit out, experimenting with different kinds of content, “do they like it? Is it relevant? Does this make me sound like an assehole?” that sometimes I clean forget the original reason I started this site: To have fun.

And mostly it is fun. I mean christ, I love the shit out of this site. It’s the one only creative project that I’ve ever managed to stick with and see through the good times and the bad because I can do this without relying on anyone but myself.

It’s taught me more than I could ever put into words but even so, sometimes I just don’t fucking feel like it.

So to my regular readers, please forgive me for being a lazy jerk. As I write this, it’s nearly 11pm on Thursday night, I’m tired, half-drunk on whisky and want nothing more right now than to take my woman in my arms, breathe her delicious warm, sleepy scent in and go the fuck to sleep.

But you bet your ass I’ll be back next week, doing what Tigers do best because I love this site, I love my readers, and as long as there is breath in me I’ll continue to bang this shit out because even if it makes one person smile, I’ll rest happy knowing I’ve made this world a better place.

Your Tiger pal,

-ST

23
Aug
12

Photo-Realistic Bic Ballpoint Pen Art. Mind –> Blown.

f00ad6ec868b326fbd39ab2fdaf5a286-d4ne392This sure as hell isn’t something you see everyday. My internet travels have brought me to the doorstep of one Mr. Samuel Silva who, to put it mildly, is one talented man.

This 29 year-old uses normal, everyday bic ballpoint pens to create the most incredible art I’ve seen in a very long time, and I don’t say that lightly. His drawings are so richly textured and realistic they almost look like photographs.

Craziest part of this is the fact that the guy isn’t even an artist, he’s a motherflippin’ LAWYER! This is what he does in his spare time with only 8 different coloured bic pens, the badass.

Here are some of my favourites:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And of course, my all-time favourite:

 

 

You need to check out this guy’s Deviant Art page – he writes detailed notes about every piece he uploads, it’s really interesting stuff.

Also, you can see his drawings bigger and in more detail, so totally worth the click.

Amazing how much natural talent some people have. This is the work of an old soul, of that there can be no doubt.

-ST

20
Aug
12

Are You Prone To Epilepsy? Take This Short Test To Find Out!

EpilepsyI’m pretty sure if you did an academic study, you’d find that there has never been a time in human history where being epileptic has sucked worse than right now.

Everyday we are bombarded with flashing lights, rapidly-changing images, flickering screens and a whole array of potentially volatile visual stimuli that could trigger an epileptic fit.

While I’ve never seen someone have an epileptic fit, if it’s anything as scary as this one guy who had a seizure during an exam at varsity this one time because he’d been up all night schnarfing ritalin, then it’s not something you want to happen to you ever in your life.

The best way to prevent a possible fit is to know your status. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, you can find that out by simply clicking this link right here, and by shaking your mouse cursor like someone on the tail end of a 5-day coffee binge.

 

 

I must warn you though, I’m not epileptic but after a minute of furious mouse-shaking my work colleagues found me twitching uncontrollably on the floor with my eyes rolled back in my head.

Admittedly, this could be because it had been four hours since my last drink, but it usually takes at least seven for the twitching to get to that intensity, so I really don’t know what to make of it at all.

All I can say is make sure you have some tongue-depressors handy before you click that link and don’t for god’s sake do it alone.

Yours in epilepsy-status awareness,

-ST

10
Aug
12

Google Proves Humans Are Hilariously Stupid

StupidHaircutsI know you guys have probably already read at least five blog posts that show the hilarious results of Google’s search suggestions but seriously, these ones take the cake.

Because I’m an honest thief, I don’t mind telling you guys that I stole these shamelessly from Bored Panda (go have a look, great way to kill 30 mins).

Having read these, all I can say is DAMN! Humans are DUMB, really DUMB, for real. Some of my favourites include “why are mexicans so perverted”, “i am extremely terrified of chinese people”, “is it healthy to eat boogers” and the classic “why do i have green poop”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So there ya have it folks. Friday lolz from your Tiger pal.

See ya’ll next week. The weekend’s beckoning bitches and it’s high time I got my drink AWN!

-ST

05
Jul
12

25 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Breaking Bad

breaking-bad-20080118045840840As you guys might have noticed, I’m a bit of a Breaking Bad freak and have been posting about the premier of the final season (July 15, bitches!).

If you’re also a die-hard BB fan, you’ll love this list of 25 things you probably didn’t know about the show that was posted yesterday on Buzzfeed.

Among my favourites are the fact that Jesse was supposed to die at the end of season one but got saved by the writer’s strike, all the blue meth in the show is rock candy and an actual DEA agent taught the cast and crew how to make crystal meth.

 

 

And that’s all we have time for today folks! But tune in tomorrow for free porn!*

-ST

 

*Of the Lego variety

27
Jun
12

New Muse Track Drops Today

2008MattBellamyMuseDC230312It’s a big day for Muse fans because at 7.30 this evening (British Central Time), the band is going to premier it’s new single “Unsustainable” on BBC Radio 1.

I’m more than a little anxious to hear what their new material will sound like having watched the trailer video they released for their new album The 2nd Law.

I say this because the trailer seems to suggest the band have decided to go the dub-step route on this album which is a pretty radical departure from, well, everything they’ve released thus far.

I already had issues with their previous album The Resistance which I felt was lacking the brute force of albums like Showbiz, Origin Of Symmetry and Absolution. Sure, there has always been a classical influence to their songwriting, but when you wander off into 10 minute long Chopin-esque interludes you’re going to piss people off.

 

 

Still, I’m an eternal optimist and want to believe that the new album is going to melt faces. I’ll try get the new track up here soon as possible so you guys can decide for yourselves.

-ST

26
Jun
12

Are SA Internet Radio Stations Fluffing Their Listenership Figures?

detectivejpgAs a blogger I often find myself reading stats from other sites and wondering how, in the name of all that is holy, they manage to get numbers like that.

It’s a subjective topic at the best of times because if I look at this site, the figures WordPress gives me vs Google Analytics vs Afrigator are all different.

This creates a grey area that I think some bloggers exploit to secure advertising for their blogs, but that’s just my opinion backed up by casual observations and my gut feeling. When it comes to internet radio stations in SA however, the evidence that they’re fluffing their figures is far more compelling…

Enter 32 year old IT Specialist Shaun Dewberry who decided to do some digging when it comes to the listenership figures the stations 2OceansVibe Radio, Ballz Internet Radio and KingfisherFM are publishing (read his report here before you read the rest of this post).

All I can say is what he uncovered was very interesting to say the least.

Among other things, Shaun discovered that the Shoutcast servers that are hosting all three of those stations each have set a maximum limit of listeners that would seem to be substantially  lower than the number of listeners they claim to get.

Here’s a table to illustrate this point:

STATION

ALLEGED NO. OF LISTENERS PER HOUR

MAXIMUM SET NO. OF LISTENERS AT ANY TIME

Ballz Visual Radio 8 500 (calculated from 51 000 between 12 and 6pm)

3 000

Kingfisher FM 26 (calculated from 20 000 in the month of March)

500

2OceansVibe Radio 60 000 (calculated from nothing. This is the figure 2OceansVibe claims)

150

 

In the case of Kingfisher FM, their figures are plausible so from here on in I’ll stop picking on them. Shame.

As for Ballz, sure their hourly figures are higher than their maximum set number of listeners, but we need to account for the fact that listeners tune in and out.

In other words, for them to get 8 500 listeners in an hour that means that every 20 minutes 2 833 listeners need to tune in and out which, though it might sound like a high number, is believable considering that they have some big names like Sasha Martinengo, Darren Scott and a host of scantily clad “Weather Girls” (thanks for the idea 2OceansVibe!) driving listenership.

HOWEVER, for 2Oceansvibe Radio to do the numbers they have published according to their 150 listener limit, it would mean that roughly 16 people would have to tune out and 16 new ones tune in every second for the full hour.

That’s if you listen for one second. If the average listener tunes in for 5 minutes, that figure rockets to 5 000 people tuning in and 5 000 tuning out every 5 minutes or 20 000 people tuning in and out every 20 minutes if you want to compare this figure with Ballz Radio’s modest 2 833 during the same time frame.

Is that fish I smell…?

 

 

Of course, all of this is based on the assumption that the maximum possible number of people are listening to these stations all the time. So yeah, in layman’s terms, they are based on your Tiger pal giving these stations the benefit of the doubt.

When Shaun actually tracked the listenership numbers that Shoutcast was reporting over the course of the past week he found that on average, Ballz Radio peaks at about 210 listeners per day and 2OceansVibe peaks at just under 40!

 

Now before you go grabbing your torches and pitchforks, I’d like to conclude by pointing out two simple facts before I bow out – firstly I am not passing judgement on either of these internet radio stations until they are offered an opportunity to properly address Shaun’s report and provide substantial evidence to support how they got to the numbers they did.

And secondly, phoning Shaun up and bullying him on your show is NOT the way to properly address this issue and to be perfectly honest, just makes you look more guilty.

 

 

So yeah, Ballz and 2Oceansvibe, over to you guys.

-ST

07
Jun
12

You Wanna Bowl Against The Breaking Bad Crew, You Better Bring Your A-Game

miscellaneous-171613It’s no secret that I fucking love Breaking Bad and think it’s one of the best TV series ever written.

So I was pretty stoked the other day to learn that Season 5, which is billed to be the final season, is going to start airing in the States on July 15.

Until then, I’ll be posting whatever content I can get my hands on about this epic show, starting with the official poster that’s been released and this hilarious video of the crew kicking some MAJOR ass at a bowling alley.

First, the poster which is on a whole other level of badassery:

 

 

What a killer poster. “All Hail The King” in his brown loafers, sitting on a fold-up chair in a run-down shit hole surrounded on all sides by PILES of money and crystal meth.

Now onto the bowling video. It’s a longy, so maybe not the best idea to watch this one until you’ve left work (unless you have liberal bosses / no one can see your screen), but it’s a must see for any Breaking Bad fanboys out there.

 

 

 

Betsy Brandt is the bowling QUEEN! Loved her quiet, subtle revenge on that nerdist guy who made her roll a gutter ball, that is one EVIL woman.

T-minus 31 days till season 5 lands.

Hells yeah.

-ST