I tweeted this video yesterday evening, but it’s go fucking intense I figured I’d put it up on the site as well. It’s from 2010 so my internet standards it’s pretty ancient, but wow. It gave me goosebumps.
The band is Nico Vega and the track’s called “Fe Fi Fo Fumâ€. If you don’t know this band, you need to get into their debut, self titled album right now before the follow-up lands later this year.
Truth be told, the guitar and drum parts in this song are both a little average, but frontlady Aja Volkman’s vocals are so fucking intense the hairs on the back of my neck stood up watching this.
Check it:
Swear to God. I cannot actually fucking handle this woman’s vocals.
The way she builds the song, right from her first word, you just know she’s getting ready to unleash all hell and when it happens, she does it with so much passion, so much raw emotion that my blood went ice cold listening to it.
I think it’s really cool how unafraid she is. And yeah, she looks like a total crackpot, but in every interview I’ve watched with her she actually comes across as a pretty together person.
So as you guys probably all know already because you are super internet-savvy mofos – Axe are upping the ante in the hugest way possible by sending someone into space.
That’s right, Axe has invited people to enter a competition that’s divided into a number of stages, the final one being strapping yourself into a goddamn rocket and launching yourself into motherflippin’ SPACE yo!
It’s arguably one of the most epic competitions I’ve heard of in recent years. Hit up the Axe Apollo Space Academy site for more details or just kick back and watch the radass video to follow.
Radass ne?
So anyway, here’s the rub. A good friend of man and all round stand-up guy by the name of SupaDan has decided to enter this competition which will see 22 people from countries all over the world shot into space one-by-one to experience zero gravity for roughly six minutes before coming back to earth again.
Besides all that, Danny slaves away everyday, up at 3am, trudging through 10 feet of snow to work the railyards where they break his fingers with hammers if he doesn’t klap 18 straight hours of work hauling steel railway lines to make the very trains you and I ride on every day.
Then, at the end of the day, they shoot him before he trudges back home through 15 feet of snow to eat his supper, a cup of hot gravel, and then he crawls into his moth-eaten little sleeping bag under a bridge where he lies with tik-addicted bergies trying to roger him in his sleep.
If anyone deserves to go to space, it’s my man Danny De Nobrega.
He even included the following in an impassioned email he sent to me, his Tiger pal, begging for votes in the competition:
– I will exchange soft core sexual favours with your readers for votes.
– I will do stupid/embarrassing/risk of personal harm anything on photo/video/vhs/live tv/recordings to campaign for votes.
All it takes is a second to vote for this man and you could change his life forever.
Yesterday, for the briefest of moments, Danny was actually in the lead, but now I see he has plummeted down the list and is currently at number 12.
Guys, let’s make Danny’s wildest dreams come true or at least get him to do some stupid shit on camera for the sake of epic LOLZ because, in the words of the world’s second most famous child molester:
Sam Raimi, who wrote, directed and produced the first Evil Dead film back in ‘81 is back this time as a producer and co-writer of the remake of Evil Dead.
The film is going to be directed by Fede Alvarez who, for a first-time director, looks like he’s done a bang up job of creating the most terrifying, gruesome, gore-filled movie I’ve seen in a very, very long time.
If you thought the original movies were full of over-the-top gore and disturbing shit, multiply that by about 1 000 and you’ve got the remake. For those who haven’t seen the originals, don’t be fooled by the title, this is not a zombie movie, it’s a demon movie and holy shit it looks insane.
Fair warning, don’t watch this if anyone can see your screen, hear your speakers or if you’re squeamish and don’t like seeing people vomiting gore onto other people.
Good times!
Fucking insane right?!
No idea whether or not I’m going to actually watch this movie. I try to limit the servings of fucked up shit I put into my brain to three, maybe four a month.
This trailer alone counts as 10.
What’s that you say? Let’s go to your cabin in the woods this weekend?
Hiya Party People! You guys must be getting really fired up for the holidays now as I’m guessing at least 80% of you are going on leave today, hells yeah!
So be honest, you aren’t going to be doing a helluva lot today right? So why not watch your Tiger pal run around Cape Town with the Hunter’s Dry crew chasing the heat from sunrise to sunset?
If the iframe I’ve embedded below works you should be able to tune into a live feed of what your Tiger pal, a bunch of other bloggers, lucky FB winners and the Hunter’s Dry team are getting up to today in REAL TIME!
We’re going to be learning how to surf, shooting clay pigeons, going to the driving range, watching ous hang-glide and partying on a BOAT YO!
Can you guys see that? If you can’t, hit me up on Twitter (@slicktiger) and I’ll try to fix it with the help of my trusty Nokia Lumia 900 while we’re chasing the sun today.
At the end of it all, we’ll be partying in Clifton so don’t be a stranger. After all, in the great and wise words of Madonna, “Holiday-eeee, celebray-eeeetâ€.
The answer my friends, is very fucking disgusting. I know this because of the educational video I just watched called “Humans Are Disgusting†which I’m about to share with you right now.
If you’re the type of person who washes your hands ten times a day, refuses to touch escalator rails and doesn’t use public restrooms, probably don’t watch this video because by the end of it, you will kill yourself.
Best part of the video? Only 10% of you is actually human. The other 90%? Well, you’re just gonna have to watch the video to find out about that.
Enjoy!
So now you know kids.
Best part of this video is now I have the perfect comeback the next time somebody says “You’re a DUSGUSTING human being!â€
I mean shit, this guy had me at stop-animated ratty old action figures trying to murder the fuck out of one another in a dirty, gritty hell-hole, THEN the chorous kicked in.
It’s foot-stompin’ good times from start to finish with this track, the kind of song that makes you want to drive screaming into that black night, firing shotgun blasts out the window of your pickup.
What can I say? Both the song below (“Black Waterâ€) and the video speak to my dark, whisky-ravaged heart and get this, the guy’s from Stellenbosch – how fucking cool is that?! I love what’s happening in the SA music scene at the moment, it’s alive and kickin’ brother, hooo-wee!
Fucking badass right? Yes, fucking badass.
I’m working on getting more, I feel like this is the kind of dark, gritty blues my summer holiday needs.
There’s other stuff too, ballads, kinder, gentler country, this guy can do it all (here are some videos).
Keep an eye on this mofo, as you’ll see in the videos, he plays an amazing live set.
Old Spice, hahahahaha! I mean, your GRANDAD used to wear Old Spice right? Christ, he used to practically BATH in that stuff, it was insane.
Much like Bell’s Extra Special Old Scotch Whisky, the Old Spice was pretty much doomed to failure because it’s target audience was getting very old and shuffling off this mortal coil.
Then they relaunched the brand with some of the fucking weirdest advertising known to man and hey presto! The brand became cool again. In their latest escapade, they have teamed up with former basketball player Dikembe Mutombo and made the following epic piece of work time-wastery.
Check it:
Every week they’re releasing another level to play as we approach the impending apocalypse – there are two out so far, the plotlines of which are so ridiculously convoluted, I could explain them but I’m not 100% sure if I understand them…
Anyway, the first level looks like this:
And the second one looks like this:
Both levels are just challenging enough that you probably won’t crack them the first time around, but even if you do, the pleasure of this game is not so much in the gameplay, but rather the hilariously weird cut-scenes and dialogue between Dikembe and his unlikely buddies.
Like Science, the bear.
So yeah. It’s Friday, the year is rapidly drawing to a close so really, what’s stopping you from diving head-first into Dikembe’s epic adventures?
TOTAL TIME WASTED: Not too long, probably an hour tops. TOTAL ENJOYMENT LEVEL: 80% FINAL VERDICT: If playing this game doesn’t make you chuckle at least once or twice at its sheer weirdness then I’m sorry. But we can’t be friends anymore
The zombie apocalypse might as well have happened because they are EVERYWHERE! They’ve invaded pop culture like a virus spread from monkeys that reduces those exposed to it to mindless, face-eating monsters.
But where and how did it all start? This is a question that has cropped up countless times whenever I get into this topic and it’s one that the documentary Doc Of The Dead tries to answer.
My theory has to do with the increasing alienation we feel toward any sense of true purpose in a world so rife with escapism, nothing seems meaningful anymore.
We’re terminally bored and jaded. We’ve seen it all before, we know how it plays out and we’re desperate for something, anything, to break the monotony of the hum-drum of our day-to-day lives.
The promise of a zombie apocalypse offers all this, and more! The one thing all zombie movies have in common is the devastating way the fabric of society is instantly ripped to shreds.
All the systems that governed and controlled us before fall apart overnight in a violent bloodbath in which only the fittest, strongest and in most cases, luckiest survive.
I think it’s a really telling sign that countless millions would rather face the horror of a zombie apocalypse than have to sit through a lifetime of boardroom meetings, deadlines, reports, school fees, PTA meetings and eventually old-age homes and adult diapers.
In a zombie apocalypse, the plethora of choices we face on a daily basis are boiled down to two very simple, drastic options – survive or die. All of the molly-coddling society insists on subjecting us to is violently stripped away and life returns to what it was before civilisation began: something precious, something no longer taken for granted, something you have to fight tooth and nail to hang on to.
I’m interested to see what Doc Of The Dead is all about. We’ll have to wait and see if it offers any answers about our current obsession with zombies and with a release date in 2014, it’s gonna be a long wait.
Pretty cool, ne? Doesn’t really give much away in terms of what the documentary is actually about, but if it addresses any of the issues I touched on above, I’m keen to watch it.
Five months ago, MK launched the MK Music Video Project whereby local bands were invited to team up with SA production companies and submit a creative pitch to MK for a music video.
From there, MK chose the 12 best pitches and commissioned those videos to be produced, resulting in some of the videos I’m about to show you.
If you want to watch all 12, check them out here. Otherwise I’m posting my top five right here, right now. I’ve chosen these videos according to two broad criteria – not only do the videos have to be sick, but the songs must be rad as well.
Let’s start with my number 5. Here’s aKing with “Jezebelâ€.
I really, really dig that song. It’s got a bit of a Thin Lizzy vibe going and from a songwriting perspective it’s really complex, a lot of moving parts all fitted perfectly together.
The video itself was well shot, but when you boil it down to it’s essence, it’s just the band jamming in a room which we’ve all seen at least a couple hundred times before and is the reason why this isn’t higher on my list.
The next vid from Shortstraw however tells an entire flippin story with schweet underwater shots and everything!
Great track as well, the way they match the pace of the track with the video is pretty much flawless. It’s a lot harder to get that shit right than it looks and that last shot is powerful as a punch right to the gut.
Moving on we have the Gazelle track “Val Van Die Ryk†which I must be honest I chose 40% because the video is cool and 60% because the track itself is pretty goddamn sick.
Classic! I’d love to see them do that song live, I reckon it would definitely get the crowd jumping. Great cameo from ol’ Francois as well.
This next track and video are both pretty fucking phenomenal. It’s P.H. Fat with “Business Business Crashâ€.
We makin’ love bitches! Hahahahaha! Too awesome. That one was directed, produced, flippin ART DIRECTED even by my man @thefilmo.
Big up to him and the P.H. Fat crew, I thought that video was incredibly well-shot – the editing is fucking tight as a drum and the whole enchilada, the video and the song itself, are both fucking cool without trying hard.
Which brings us to number ONE on my list. You might have heard this one before…
You guys should have been there in the cinema to see this one on the big screen, people were loving it, great concept, awesome track and an ending that packs a helluva punch.
So all in all, I was really impressed at the standard of videos we watched last night. SA has a shiteload of artistic and musical talent in this country, such a pity there isn’t the proper infrastructure to support and develop that talent but it’s pretty plain to see we’ve come a long way.
At the risk of looking like a total douche though, there’s one last video I want to share with you guys.
It’ isn’t South African but I honestly think we aren’t far off from conceptualising and producing music videos of this calibre.
WARNING: Keep a box of tissues handy. Not that I needed any, but I know how sensitive you guys are, so yeah, I just don’t want you breaking down in front of your co-workers and stuff…
It’s Kodaline with “All I Wantâ€.
Have a killer weekend party people.
Here’s to finding that someone if you haven’t already
Good day. We here at SlickTiger Industries would like to offer an official apology for the gigantic pile of utter shite featured on the “Them’s Fightin’ Words†website this week.
As a multi-national conglomerate with controlling interests in China, the Middle East and Europe, SlickTiger Industries strives at all times to make your experience on this site a pleasurable one.
Sadly, because “Slicky-T†technically started our organisation and owns 51% of the shares, we have to put up with his child-like behaviour, questionable posting habits and general bad taste because he’s threatened on numerous occasions to fire us all if we oppose him in any way.
In fact, my job would be on the line if he even knew I was posting this, but thankfully the pressures of his working life have finally gotten to him and he’s elected to spend the rest of today dead drunk.
In his absence, we’re seizing control of the site to assure you that the mindless garbage he’s posted this week (Monday’s shockingly bad song about Thanksgiving, Wednesday’s mindless video of eggs being squashed in slow motion and whatever that mangled abortion of a song was he posted yesterday) will never be repeated.
To show you we’re serious, here is a video we would like to share with you that we feel fills an important role in the general enrichment of society and the upliftment of mankind as a species.
I tweeted this video yesterday evening, but it’s go fucking intense I figured I’d put it up on the site as well. It’s from 2010 so my internet standards it’s pretty ancient, but wow. It gave me goosebumps.
