I’ve said it before on this site, it’s not a very popular view but I don’t give a rat’s ass, I fucking love Primus.
It’s probably not a very popular view because of two simple reasons: 1) No one knows who they are and b) if they do, they can’t handle how intensely batshit crazy their music is.
Take the best bass guitarist you’ve ever heard in your life and feed him a bucketload of mind-bending drugs and you’ve got Les Claypool, the driving force behind this band and the man slapping the shit out of the bass guitar in the track I’m about to play you.
Though the video for “Lee Van Cleef†just dropped, the new album, Green Naugahyde has been out since September last year.
Check it:
Zombies and the Old West, fuck yeah.
Here’s more, this one’s called “Tragedy’s A’ Comin’â€, also off the new album. It has sick dancing, tight jams and the fucking coolest lobster suit I’ve ever seen.
Catchy. I dig how tragedy comes riding in on a horse wearing a spacesuit.
That’s some pretty deep sheeit right there if you stop and think about it.
Are you stopping and thinking about it? Neither am I.
All I’m thinking is DAMN I want that lobster suit.
Why in God’s name you’d want to book Andy Samberg as the special guest speaker at a Harvard graduation ceremony is totally beyond me, but the results are goddamn priceless!
From hitting on all the hot moms to hitting on all the hot dads (?) to doing awesome impressions, from the minute Samberg gets on stage to the minute he gets off he basically says nothing of any real value, academic of otherwise.
If this is the way the world is heading, I can tell you two things about the future of mankind: 1. We are going to get a LOT dumber and 2. It’s going to be goddamn HILARIOUS!
Enjoy
Who knew the man could nail a Nick Cage impression so well?!
Loved every minute of that.
Have a killer weekend party people. Next week Ill try not to be such a lazy ass about posting
Slicky-T’s back with some more sick-ass videos he’s stolen shamelessly from the infinite grab-bag that is the interwebs and holy balls! We got us some primo content right here boys and girls, proper industrialstrengthshit.
This week I’m featuring the new Hives video for “Go Right Ahead†(the track that 5FM are murdering the fuck out of as we speak), as well as a seriously low-budget video from a band called The Unkindness Of Ravens featuring a blonde with a duct tape fetish 0_o
There’s also the new Blood Red Shoes single “Lost Kids†(a little obsessed with them at the moment) and to kickstart your weekend in the best possible way, a Super Mario 3 Medley that is guaranteed to warm the cockles of your cold, black heart.
So let’s get to it, shall we?
Dig this next one, it’s The Unkindness Of Ravens. Not sure if I’m totally sold on this track just yet, it hovers in that grey area between being utter shite and kinda cool.
I like the fact that the production (both of the video and the song) is super low budget. No digital gimmickry going on here, this shit’s rougher than a goat’s knee.
Thoughts anyone?
Ahh the Blood Red Shoes. This band can do no wrong in my eyes (ears?). I’d rate them right up there with Silversun Pickups when it comes to newish rock bands that are blowing my hair back.
And now you just gotta kick back, close your eyes and get lost in the following vid. If I had to take guitar lessons again, this is the kind of shit I’d want to learn.
Watching those songs played like that makes you realise how fucking well-written they actually are. Mario 3 was always the best one, basically everyone knows that.
Have a killer weekend party people, see ya’ll on the other side
Lordy, lordy, lordy. Those are the only words I can think of after watching the video my good friend Lu just sent me.
Just when you thought the interwebs couldn’t possibly get any more awesome than it already is, a news crew hits the ghettos and finds SHEER INTERNET MEMEGOLD I TELLS YA!
First there was Antoine Dodson (Google his vids if you haven’t seen them already, other level funny shit right there) and now there’s Sweet Brown who, judging from this video, has mastered the fine art of jive-talkin’, smelling barbeques, running barefoot through blazing infernos and getting interviewed by Jesus.
“Ain’t nobody got time for that!†Boolsheeit! I always has me some time for BRONCHITIS!
And of course, here’s the kinda-catchy autotune version:
At the time, it was the weirdest ad I’d ever seen for a car brand, especially at the end when one of the ponies uses a guttural, demon voice to force you to like their Facebook page.
Well, I have great news people. Ford in Australia have managed to top Nissan by producing an ad that combines talking frogs with drugs and violence, resulting in a whole other level of awesome that puts Nissan’s pink pony weirdness to shame.
Check it:
Awesome. I now know more about creamy frog secretion than I do the actual car they were advertising.
There was a time when two good friends of mine, Peggles and Manfred, locked horns in a vicious battle to see who could find the most fucked up content on the internet to send to the other guy.
Collateral damage ensued as the foul shit that they unearthed got forwarded to us, scarring us in ways not even our psychiatrists can fathom.
The war eventually ended when Manfred hit Peggles with the 1man1jar video, and both parties backed down. Once in awhile though that sick, dark and twisted part of Peggles comes out and he sends a video like the one I’m about to show you.
Probably don’t watch this video if you enjoy sleeping…
That’s a pretty bold statement right there but I’m comfortable making it because here at Them’s Fightin’ Words we do not fuck around… much…
While I was over in London a few weeks back, I got introduced to this killer show called “Facejacker†by my good buddy Stuza and my life has been changed for the better ever since.
The concept of Facejacker is pretty simple. Actor Kayvan Novak adopts a whole bunch of different disguises to completely change his appearance and then terrorises the general populace with fucking hilarious results. You HAVE to see this shit.
Though he acts as ten different characters on the show, my personal favourite is Brian Badonde, a flamboyantly homosexual art critic who suffers from “Bourettesâ€, a speech impediment that makes him start certain words with the letter “bâ€.
Here’s one of the first skits he did at an art gallery:
How he keeps a straight face throughout is a total mystery to me. How fucking funny is that shit?!
And it only gets better. Check out the pottery episode:
The whisky episode also made my literally piss myself laughing:
And the one that got me hooked when I saw it a few weeks back. I present to you. Brian Badonde. Art critic. Learning the art of. Boetry.
I swear to god, when he gets the guy to recite Postman Pat, he gets this close to packing up laughing, just watch his face, priceless!
Like I mentioned in my last post, over the long weekend we hired all 4 Alien Movies, watched them pretty much back to back and came away from that experience with some profound insights.
I mean, when you stop and think about it, have YOU seen all 4 Alien movies? And if you have you hardly remember them right? Mmmyes, that’s what I thought…
It wasn’t easy tracking them all down, that’s the first thing you need to know. Aliens, Alien 3 and Alien Resurrection are widely regarded by movie critics the world over as being ok, shit and godawful respectively, so most video stores only have the first one.
If you live in CT, DVD Nouveau was the only store that had all 4, so bank that if you wanna watch them like we did, but you probably won’t because the next thing you’re about to read is The Tiger’s List Of 7 Things The Alien Films Taught Me:
1. Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) is the hardest woman known to man
Not only does she survive three separate alien attacks, but after she voluntarily swan dives backwards into a gigantic furnace to prevent an alien queen from bursting out of her at the end of the third movie, they bring her back from the dead by cloning her in Alien Resurrection so she can create and kill another shipload of aliens.
2. Numero cuatro es el mejor!
The first one is a classic. The second one is cheesy, the third one is vacuous, but for me Alien Resurrection was the best. Movie critics be damned, the fourth one is the only movie that hasn’t aged, doesn’t take itself too seriously, introduces new and significant plot twists and kicks more ass than the other three combined.
3. Ron Perlman can only play two characters: Hellboy and a jerk
I’ve seen him play a jerk many times, but his portrayal of the jerk “Johner†in Alien Resurrection is what finally made me realise how amazingly jerky his jerk-based acting style actually is.
4. Robots are evil. No wait, they’re good. No wait, KILL THEM ALL
The robot Ash in the first Alien movie is a total asshole who loses his shit, rolls up a magazine and forces it into Ripley’s mouth in an attempt to somehow kill her (?), making him a very bad robot indeed. Fifty-seven years later, robots are rad (“Bishopâ€, the robot in Aliens actually saves the day) but fast forward 200 years and robots are whiny, emotionally insecure and constantly questioning the validity of their existence. Needless to say, choosing Winona Ryder to play that role was nothing short of genius.
5. Somewhere between Prometheus and Alien, technology regresses back to DOS
The “technology†in the original Alien movie (which was released in 1979) looks like it was salvaged from a plane in the mid 60s. You interact with it by typing questions onto a black screen with green writing. Would you trust technology like that to keep you safe in space? That shit was scarier than the alien!
6. For the love of God, you cannot use aliens as weapons!
Alien = let’s send a towing ship to this creepy planet to bring back some aliens for us to study on the off chance that we can use the aliens as weapons. Don’t tell anyone. Aliens = let’s send Ripley to the planet the aliens came from because we colonised it to try and study the aliens on the off chance that we can use them as weapons and now everyone’s dead. Don’t tell anyone. Alien 3 = let’s go on a 5 week drinking binge and try make a movie. Alien Resurrection = let’s just not even lie about it this time – clone Ripley, cut the alien queen out of her, get it to lay eggs so that we can make as many aliens as possible and study them on the off chance that we can use them as weapons because you know, things will be different this time…
7. Airlocks are your friend
End of Alien Ripley survives thanks to bum luck and a handy airlock that she opens and schloomf! Sucks the alien into space. End of Aliens Ripley survives thanks to bum luck, being a bit of a badass and a handy airlock that she opens, thus schloomfing the alien queen out into space. End of Alien 3 Ripley dies, possibly because there were no airlocks in sight. End of Alien Resurrection Ripley uses her ACID BLOOD to burn a hole through a glass porthole behind the human / alien monster, thus creating a vacuum that sucks the creature out into space similar to, you guessed it, a vacuum cleaner.
Needless to say, watching all those movies just made me all the more excited to see Prometheus. Watching those movies and THIS trailer:
The great thing about having your own blog is the fact that you’re essentially your own boss and no one can fuck with that.
As such, I gave myself the past couple of days off and spent them sleeping in late, catching up on series, indulging in an ALIEN MOVIE MARATHON and avoiding the rainy weather we’ve been having.
But now it’s time to get back to the serious business of populating this site with fucking incredible content and blowing your guy’s minds on a daily and sometimes twice-daily basis.
Here’s a video I just found of a buncha guys taking is through the history of whistling that I thought was pretty cool.
Not too bad eh? Only thing is they missed out one of my favourite whistling songs of all time which has to be Live with “Waitressâ€.
Anyone remember this song? Hello? (Is this thing on…?)
Have a wonderful day back at work! If anyone needs me I’ll be cowering under my desk, taking generous swigs from this bottle of drain cleaner I found in the storage closet.
Has there ever, EVER been a more highly anticipated movie than the Avengers?
I mean besides the trailers, teasers and general hype, there have also been no less than six movies produced in the build-up to this undeniably brobdingnagian (yes, that’s an actual word, look it up) cinematic event.
To put it bluntly, if watching this movie doesn’t make me actually see God himself, if it doesn’t send me into violent paroxysms of sheer joy while choirs of angels descend to sing the end credits, I am going to track down Joss Whedon and co. and kick them so hard in the balls, their grandchildren will walk funny.
Problem is, it’s highly unlikely that the movie is going to live up to people’s expectations given how much it’s been hyped up over the last SEVEN YEARS since Marvel Studios received the original grant to produce the movie back in 2005.
Sure, it took awhile for the rumour mill to start churning, but I can remember hearing about The Avengers well before the first Iron Man movie came out in 2008.
And now here it is, and SA fanboys the country over are literally having romance explosions in their pants because for some bizarre reason, it’s opening here TODAY a week before it opens in the States.
So to celebrate, here’s a trailer I’m pretty sure you won’t have seen for this explosion-packed action-fest, just to make sure you will have already seen ALL the good parts before you actually watch it.
Not sure if I’ll be posting tomorrow boys and girls with it being a public holiday and all, but stop by anyway and maybe I’ll surprise y’all.
I’ve said it before on this site, it’s not a very popular view but I don’t give a rat’s ass, I fucking love Primus.
