Nobody likes a clever dick, especially if that clever dick happens to be standing in a bar making an arse out of you in front of your friends after you’ve just slammed your fifth tequila down the hatch.
At that stage, according to the dictates of the “bro codeâ€, you would be totally forgiven for taking a wild swing at Mr Clever Dick with the biggest haymaker mankind has ever seen.
You’ll never land it, but no harm in trying right? Alternatively, if you’re the type who hankers for a good bar fight (cut to scenes of people smashing bar stools / pool cues over each other’s heads), then here are 10 great ways to start one.
I must say, the last one is pretty damn hilarious (*mentally clicks save).
This is nothing new. We’ve seen runway fail compilations a million times, right? But this one is worth the 2 minutes you’re about to spend watching it.
Runway fails are a lot like cat fails. You just don’t expect to see these creatures that are usually so poised and holier-than-though making a gigantic ass of themselves in such spectacularly embarrassing ways.
I kinda feel sorry for them because while we’re afforded the luxury of sitting back and laughing our asses off, their already fragile egos probably get irreparably shattered by moments like these when GOD FORBID they are reminded that they really are just human.
Enjoy
Wow, the gigantic pendulum smashing into that model at 1:38 is priceless!
As far as unlikely pairings go, children’s colourful interlocking bricks and a movie about the nature of dreams and the subconscious mind rates right up there with Lego and porn.
Still though, I got a chuckle out of this brilliantly animated short where Lego and Inception collide with pretty hilarious results.
This short piece apparently took over 12 weeks and 1000 hours to put together, which is pretty conclusive proof that human beings have a shitload of time on our hands. They should definitely make a Lego game out of this, it would put the Lego Star Wars franchise to shame.
The fucking weekend is upon us brothers and sisters and what better way to reign that gigantic, slavering beast in than by indulging in some Eagles Of Goddamn Death Metal!
If you haven’t heard of them, do yourself a favour.
Beg, borrow, steal Peace, Love Death Metal. Put your earphones on. Let your brain make sweet love to that falsetto-heavy rock and roll, yeah!
After that, mosey on over to Death By Sexy for another ramrod-stiff dose of everything that is great about rock and roll, and then top it off with Heart-On while you lie there in a post-braingasmic stupor.
Why yes, that WAS Josh Homme, frontman from Queens Of The Stone Age you saw in that video playing drums like a total badass and no, it wasn’t just a cameo, HE IS THE DRUMMER OF THIS BAND.
“What?!†I hear you say, “I thought he was a guitarist, what the hell is a guitarist doing playing drums?!â€
Well, I could ask you the same question for Dave Grohl – what the hell is a drummer doing playing guitar?
See, when a musician has so much goddamn raw talent, he often has to let it out through every instrument in the band, as is the case with maestros like Grohl and Homme.
Here’s more:
Ahhh yeeeaaaaahhhhh, now we’re starting to get into this motherfucking rock band, yeah!
Are we ready to take things to a whole other level of sexy? Yes? No?
Shit’s AWN!
So that’s all good and well. In studio and in videos they kick a whole lot of ass. But the important question is can they fuck shit up live?
Here’s one of my personal favourites, “Whorehoppin (Shit, Goddamn)’†to answer that question:
Huh. Funny, that didn’t look like Homme at the drum kit… I wonder if they tour with him?
I just took it for granted he’d be coming to SA with the band, but maybe I was wrong.
Anyone know if Homme will be jamming with the band in SA?
Hello? Is this thing on…?
Anyway, I hope you guys had as much fun digging that sheeit as I did posting it. Have a killer weekend party people, see ya same time, same place next week
I’ve seen some buzz starting recently on the interwebs about the new Disney movie, Wreck-It Ralph, but didn’t pay much attention to it because lately 3D animated movies haven’t really blown my hair back.
But having just watched the trailer, I got a feeling Wreck-It Ralph is going to breathe some much-needed life back into the genre.
The premise is that Ralph, who’s a character in an 8-bit arcade game called Wreck-It Ralph, gets sick and tired of being the bad guy and starts “game-jumping†into other titles.
It’s a great premise, but what sealed the deal for me was the fact that actual video game characters (like Bowser from Super Mario, Zangief from Street Fighter II and even Kano from Mortal Kombat) feature in this movie.
Here’s the trailer:
Dunno about you, but they had me at the Talking Heads track.
Just picked up a tweet from my main man @SchweppsRocka with the trailer for Muse’s album (The 2nd Law) that lands in Sept and I must say I’m… confused.
If the album trailer is anything to go by, then Muse have made the questionable decision to embrace dubstep with their new material which is already polarising fans left right and centre.
I thought we learned from the pile of shit that was Korn’s recent dubstep album, The Path Of Totality that rock bands need to avoid dubstep like the goddamn plague, but no. Apparently Muse missed that memo…
Here’s the vid:
Of course, at this stage, it’s all just speculation. Muse have been pretty hush-hush on how the new album will sound, the only quote I’ve read so far was the bassist Chris Wolstenholme saying they want to do something “radically different†on their new album.
Muse, more than any band that comes to mind right now, are probably the only guys that might actually be able to pull off a rock / dubstep album but still, it’s a huge gamble.
And I’m sorry, but the whole post-apocalyptic, “we’re destroying the planet†angle they’re going for with this clip reminds me of one thing and only one thing.
For their sake I hope this doesn’t end in WUB-WUB-fuelled disaster.
Can you believe that the pudgy, loveable Italian plumber that first won us over as kids back in ’85 has featured in over 200 games to date?!
If you read the full list, you’ll find classics like Super Mario 3, Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Galaxy, but you’ll also find a LOT of duds (watch this video, hilarious!).
I mention the duds because I just saw the release footage of Super Mario for the new Wii U (hitting stores in the fourth quarter of 2012) and I must say, compared to Super Mario Galaxy, it looks kinda lame…
Sure, I get the nostalgia factor they are going for here. From what I can see in this clip they’ve borrowed a LOT from Super Mario 3 which, to this day, is still a seriously awesome game. But there’s a danger of borrowing too heavily – you end up making a game that is nothing more than reheated leftovers.
Did that blow you away? Yes, no, maybe, I don’t know?
Week before last I wrote about what a douche Kevin Spacey is because he chose this very random script from SA to turn into a short film instead of mine.
I got all up on my high horse and lambasted both Spacey and the efforts of the SA scriptwriter / director that won the Jameson First Shot competition.
They accepted scripts from the States, Russia and SA and chose one from each country to be turned into a short film. Ours was about a dentist who cures a pirate’s tooth ache (?), which made me think that’s the kind of tone they were going for here, slapsticky absurdism. Then I saw America’s entry.
“The Ventriloquist†is a moving, thought-provoking short film that carries a powerful emotional punch and basically makes SA’s effort look like your nephew’s grade 2 nativity play where he landed the role as the back part of the camel.
It just plain ain’t fair I tells ya! Had they chosen a less goofy script from SA, I have no doubt we would have been able to pull off something as emotionally stirring as that piece.
Look, I’m not saying this is the best short film I’ve ever seen, but I am saying it’s a damn side better than ours was.
Racism has become a hot topic in the media recently. Hardly a day goes by without news stories being published that doesn’t touch on the subject of racism, whether it’s the Spear debacle or moronic models hurling racist slurs over Twitter.
Nandos, never being one to shy away from controversy, gives us some food for thought (see what I did there? BAZINGA!) with this new ad they’ve shot reminding us that we’re ALL foreigners in this crazy, mixed up country of ours.
Nandos has also teamed up with Cheesekids and is creating pop up soup kitchens in parts of SA that have been affected by Zenophobia. They’ve shot a brilliant call to action for that as well, which follows after the clip below:
Very cool ads from a company that isn’t afraid to use the best weapon we have against the hardships this country has been through and continues to go through: a sense of humour.
Because if we can laugh together, we can get through anything
Thought I’d feature another one of the people I look up to here on TFW today because you need to read his stuff if you haven’t already.
The man goes by the name of Neil Gaiman and he’s the guy who wrote The Sandman graphic novel series among other notable works (including Coraline, Stardust and my personal favourite, Good Omens).
Also, after posting Andy Samberg’s graduation speech at Harvard, which is just one huge joke, I felt I had to redeem myself by posting something you might actually learn something from especially if, like me, you are an aspiring writer or artist.
The rest I’ll leave up to the man himself. This is the first time I’ve ever heard him speak, but he really smacks this one right out of the park, as you can tell by the standing ovation he receives at the end.
What a cool guy. He has an enviable ability to distil things down to their purest, simplest truths and communicate those truths in a way that is so natural it seems almost effortless.
Christ, I need to write more. If I don’t, guaranteed I’m going to end up one of those sad sorry fuckers he talks about.
A shouldawouldacoulda kind of person. The guy at the party with a story so boring people won’t even give him the courtesy of listening to it for the sake of being polite.
Nobody likes a clever dick, especially if that clever dick happens to be standing in a bar making an arse out of you in front of your friends after you’ve just slammed your fifth tequila down the hatch.
