Archive for the 'Hilariously Bad Ads' Category

13
Jan
14

Escape Monday: With Sexist Ads from the 1930s

offending_chinreducerIt’s crazy how advertising has evolved over the past 100-odd years. The messages are all essentially the same, but the way they are communicated have become increasingly complex and manipulative.

Back in the day, things were a little more straightforward. Advertisers had pretty much no shame when it came to targeting women to buy their products as you’ll see in the ads that follow.

The scary thing is that most advertising still plays largely on people’s fears and insecurities, but instead of saying “You are fat / skinny / have bad skin / smell – buy our product” it’s now changed to “She is gorgeous, confident, sexy and perfect because she bought our product.”

Advertisers have realised that you don’t have to point out people’s flaws to get them to buy whatever snake oil you’re selling. Instead, bombard them with images of flawless people and they’ll connect the dots all by themselves.

I’ve sorted all the ads originally featured here (worth reading if you want more insight into and analysis of these ads) into easy-to-read categories.

Category No. 1 – You stink

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah, pretty brutal right? Just wait, it gets better. If it wasn’t bad enough that you stink, wait until you get a load of category 2.

Category no. 2 – Your Lady Parts Stink

 

 

 

 

 

Men back in the day were real uncommunicative shitheads apparently. Some would say not much has changed…

Moving right along, category 3 is another winner that is still dogging women (and men) at every turn.

Category no. 3 – You are too fat / too skinny

 

 

 

 

 

Interestingly, though skinny women are currently considered beautiful, the opposite was true when the world went through the Great Depression and the tough economic climate saw countless millions of people wasting away from starvation all over the world.

The next category is also one that exists to this day.

Category no. 4 – Your Hands Are Rough as a Goat’s Knee

 

 

 

 

The first one is the best (worst?) – “Romance DIES at the touch of DISHPAN HANDS!” Reminds me of the “Reefer Madness” movie posters that also did the rounds on the 30s.

Moving right along, here’s ma favourite category of the whole lot.

Category no.5 – Hey guys! Let’s invent a retarded-sounding new term to scare women into buying our shitty products!

 

 

 

 

 

Yeah. That last one makes no sense whatsoever. The fuck is she putting gelatine in the salad for? What in the name of all that is holy is she making?!

There are a ton more here, but I thought I’d end with a personal favourite from the early 70s:

 

 

What the actual fuck. Who are they hiring, sex-slaves? The copy in that ad is so embarrassingly chauvinistic, it makes me ashamed to be a man.

Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed that trip down to hell memory lane. I’d like to say we’ve come a long way, but have we?

 

 

No.

No we haven’t.

-ST

02
Jul
13

Supercut Of The World’s Weirdest Japanese Commercials

JapcommsI’m not sure words can describe the sheer weirdness of the Japanese commercials you are about to see. If you’d told me that creatures from another planet had made these, I would have believed you.

From Power Ranger people riding a bicycle through what look like very real explosions to people in animal costumes with gigantic furry breasts and balls, these are definitely the weirdest commercials I’ve ever seen.

Special mention goes to the “Milk Seafood Noodles” commercial, the classic “Jerry Beans” ad and the fucking awful singing on the chocolate balls ad. Yeah, we’re dialling the weird-shit-o-meter up to 11 today folks, enjoy.

 

 

Well done Japan.

Well done.

-ST

09
May
12

Ford Gives Nissan A Run For Its Money On The Weird-Shit-O-Meter

ford-toadLast year I banged out a post about a Nissan ad that featured irritating little pink ponies that live inside your car and sing crap songs.

At the time, it was the weirdest ad I’d ever seen for a car brand, especially at the end when one of the ponies uses a guttural, demon voice to force you to like their Facebook page.

Well, I have great news people. Ford in Australia have managed to top Nissan by producing an ad that combines talking frogs with drugs and violence, resulting in a whole other level of awesome that puts Nissan’s pink pony weirdness to shame.

Check it:

 

 

Awesome. I now know more about creamy frog secretion than I do the actual car they were advertising.

Great job people. Eight-balls all round.

-ST

06
Feb
12

Okes Who Like To Klap It #12: Old Spice Charna

Expendables Cast Rings New York Stock Exchange ZKAeGmJILlslHazit ma boychays!

So I’m surfing the interwebs the other day just doing my normal thing of checking my emails, writing some kak on vleisboek and looking for pictures of MASSIVE AND RIPPED okes covered in oil looking flippin’ BUFF in there speedos and what do I find?!

THE FLIPPIN BUFFEST CHARNA IN THE LAND!

I mean, a oke who shouts ALL THE TIME, RIDES TIGERS, HAS BICEPS INSIDE HIS BICEPS, CAN TURN OFF THE SUN, KICK BUILDINGS DOWN and blow his own MIND! Seriously boet, the only way I can explain it is if you watch some of the videos I found.

 

 

 

 

 

How flippin’ INTENSE is that charna?! I dunno what it is about him that I think is more awesomer, his MONSTER pecs, his GIGANTIC DELTS and TRAPS, his MOUNTAIN RANGE BICEPS, his FLIPPIN’ AWESOME TAN, the fact that just like me he SHOUTS ALL THE TIME or his lekker tight red shorts.

But just wait, cause it gets BETTER!

The oke is so flippin’ POWERFUL, he’s invading OTHER OKES adverts!

Check how MASSIVE AND RIPPED he’s made this flippin KAK ad for some toilet spray stuffs.

 

 

But the BEST one is this one for some kind of chocolate bar you put on your washing (I know, who the flip puts chocolate bars in the washing?! Chopheads…)

 

 

Now THAT’S how you handle a situation! WITH EXPLOSIONS, A JETSKI, PECS THAT MAKE DRILLING SOUNDS AND FLYING THROUGH THE ROOF!

Charnas, we can only one day hope to be as buff as the Old Spice charna. In the meantime, I’ve bought 30 cans of Old Spice that I’ve been INHALING since Saturday and ja… I’m not quite as BUFF as that charna yet, but last night my muscles got a bladdy AWESOME workout when I went into a SEIZURE so I think it’s working…

Until next time – KLAP IT BOET!

-ST

29
Nov
11

Two MUST SEE Movies For 2013

brain meltedIt’s not everyday that you see a movie trailer that is packed so full of awesome that your brain instantly melts while you desperately try to figure out what the hell just happened.

Well my friends, I’m about to show you two movie trailers (courtesy of my buddy Peggles, nice one bruv!) that will redefine your own personal standards of amazing film-making and most likely change your life FOREVER!

If you thought Ghanaians had NO IDEA how to make awesome movies, think again! They have been keeping a close watch on Hollywood and learned a trick or two about how to make a badass action movie…

 

 

Backflip over a gigantic missile! Dude on a flying bike! Exploding eyeball! Vincent watch out!

Some quality cinema right there but wait, it gets better…

IN 2016!

 

 

Yeah. That just happened.

Happy Tuesday.

-ST

07
Sep
11

What Happens When Creatives Switch From Coke To LSD

meh.ro5604The stereotype that ad agencies are riddled with cocaine-fuelled creatives who live like rockstars, burn out in their late 30s and then spend the remainder of their lives living in Buddhist retreats mumbling pay-off lines in their sleep isn’t true.

They take other drugs too.

If you don’t believe me, just watch this truly mind-bogglingly bad piece-of-turd advert Brazil produced for the Nissan Frontier that was clearly inspired by a 5 day acid binge.

After you’ve watched it, ask yourself this one simple question: what does that ad make you want to do more, buy a Nissan or drill a hole in your skull?

 

 

Pass the drill Pony Maljeetoo.

-ST