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07
Jun
11

Steri Stumpie And Slicky-T, BFFs For Life

By SlickTiger 1 Comment
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
Tags: , , , , , , ,

It’s hard not to love Steri Stumpie because it’s a brand that, without even trying, has organically grown a considerable cult following.

 

 

To my knowledge, the Flavour Nation ads that were recently on radio were the first radio ads Steri has run in about 20 years and I’m pretty sure they’ve done nothing on TV, and yet the brand has a cult following of fans that are so dedicated that they actively feed the Facebook page and blog site with user-generated content that they make for no reason other than to show their unwavering love of this kooky South African brand.

The Brothers Streep went so far as to not only write a Steri Stumpie song, but shoot an entire video and contrary to popular belief, they weren’t paid by Steri to do this, they just really, really like Steri Stumpie.

 

Steri has been on our shelves since 1976, how crazy is that?! It’s as South African as biltong and babotie and is not only available in enough flavours to appease even the most discerning of flavoured milk connoisseurs, but it’s also one of the best hangover cure’s money can buy (or so I’m told…).

So I was super stoked when the Steri fairy dropped by today and hooked me up with the SICKEST hoodie you’ve ever seen. They said they’d read my stray cat recipe post and felt so bad for me they immediately despatched their Steri-raptors to help a brother out during the cold winter months.

 

 

 

That’s the other thing I love about this brand, they’re great at targeting influencers and adorers with radass Steri drop packs that have a whole bunch of Steri merch you can’t buy in stores so you can show it off to your friends and be all like “ne-ner-ne-ner-neee-neeerrrr” I’m special and you’re not.

I also love Steri because I once drove past one of their delivery vans and on the side it said “Hoot if you’re a fan” so I let out a playful toot on my horn and the Steri van replied with a hilarious little counter-toot that had J-Rab and I in hysterics for a solid 10 minutes.

 

 

Thanks for the hoodie and the good times Steri! You guys get the Tiger stamp of approval Winking smile

-ST

12
May
11

Album Launch: Taxi Violence – Long Way From Home

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick, Events, Gig Reviews and Good Times
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Awhile back I bitched and moaned about how South African bands are a bunch of limp dick unclefuckers who need to man the fuck up and play some dirty, sexy rock music already.

Well, I’m happy to say I can add one band to the list of SA bands I actually like and that band is Taxi Violence.

I saw them live at Mercury a month or two back when they did a seriously killer cover of “Riders On The Storm” with We Set Sail. I was well impressed not only with the cover, but also Taxi Violence themselves who, much like Queens Of The Stone Age, have breathed life back into old school 60s / 70s rock and made it unapologetically badass.

 

 

Then, about two weeks back, I ran into George (frontman and vocalist) at Mercury and did this thing I do when I’m drunk when I shoot the breeze with people in bands like I’m catching up with an old highschool buddy.

It’s a test because some people in bands think they’re God’s fucking gift to the planet so I talk to them like they’re normal humans and they either act like I’m a weirdo and run away or they shoot the breeze back and we end up having epic discussions about music and the South African scene.

George definitely proved to be a stand up guy and even invited me to check out the launch of their acoustic album Long Way From Home.

So J-Rab and I headed on down to the Plane-arium for an intimate showcase of what the Taxi lads have been up to and I was pretty blown away.

 

 

Old favourites like “The Mess”, “Devil ‘n Pistol” and “The Turn” sound like they’ve been taken apart and rebuilt from scratch, a refreshing change from most bands who just swap electric guitars for acoustic ones and serve up warmed up leftovers thinly disguised as an album actually worth listening to.

Their acoustic rendition of “Heads and Tails” is particularly noteworthy both on the album and when they played it live. It was pretty hilarious us all reclining on our seats in the Plane-arium with the stars wizzing overhead because whenever Taxi got the crowd bopping your seatback would start moving in time to the music as other people sitting in the same row literally “rocked” out. “Heads And Tails” produced that effect immediately.

They’ve also shot a new video for the song, which they opened their set with which sadly they haven’t uploaded to their YouTube channel yet, but look out for it when they do, it’s a very cool take on the Groundhog Day premise and, in keeping with the song, asks the question if you knew the dice were rigged, how would you play the game?

 

 

One of my songs they played was their new track “Long Way From Home”, about a country boy hitting the big city, a dreamer who “Followed the buzz until he hit the hive”. It’s got an upbeat, bluesy / rock flavour played with bright, jangling guitars and tambourines that reminded me of some of the earlier Supergrass albums.

I’d highly recommend checking out Taxi’s FB page for their upcoming gigs so you can get a chance to hear their acoustic set and, if you’re lucky enough, getting a picture with the square-headed mascott that adorns the new album cover.

 

 

So big up to George for the invite and the guys from Taxi Violence for a killer gig and for hooking me up with a copy of the new album. It doesn’t look like it in the picture below, but I was really stoked to get the actual, physical album. I think that’s the first CD I’ve been given in about 5 years.

 

 

-ST

04
May
11

Tiger Back In Action!

By SlickTiger 2 Comments
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Hey Party People!

It’s been fucking ages, how the hell are all ya crazy basterds?

I hope you all had a killer Easter and took the three days that magically turned into 11 like I did. Yesterday was actually my first day back in the orifice, but to be honest, I was too depressed to blog so I just kinda moped around feeling sorry for myself and slouched at my desk surfing porn.

It was an epic holiday though, we went up the East Coast, checked out the Knysna Elephants, stopped at Storm’s River, stopped at PE and headed on through to Grahamstown which was a total mindfuck in itself.

 

 

In GTown I stopped by my old digs, which we affectionately used to call The Zombie Mansion, and man-o-man it hasn’t changed one bit.

 

 

We had so many good times in that house, it was awesome to see it still standing and judging from the sarongs that were being used as curtains in some rooms, I’d say it’s definitely still a student digs.

It’s the biggest house I’ve ever lived in and rent was R1080 a month, how crazy is that?! We threw parties in that house that were so epic I still get random flashbacks from them that make me hide under my desk mumbling incoherently for up to 9 hours at a time.

I’m glad I got this pic though because sometime while we were living in this house, this camera randomly appeared one day and nobody could figure out who it belonged to, so I used the film remaining in it to take a whole lot of pictures of the house before I left GTown at the end of varsity.

I kept the camera for another year before I decided to finally develop the film and I was well stoked to find out a) what else was on the film strip and b) see pics of my old digs.

And so with great trepidation I drove to the nearest Kodak shop and handed the camera over to the guy behind the counter.

“Develop this shit my good man,” I said to him, “but just know this: I only took the pictures at the END of the filmstrip, the others were in the camera when I found it, so if there’s any weird shit on there, I swear it’s not mine!”

“Ok,” he said and opened the camera. “It’s empty.”

“It’s whaaaaaaaaaaaaattt?!” I replied, incredulously.

“Empty. No film inside it.”

“But it said 22 pictures! What the hell man, it wound on and everything!”

“Mechanical error probably. Sorry.”

 

 

So I’m stoked I got something to remember the Zombie Mansion by, even if it was taken years after we’d already left.

Oh, and for anyone reading this who knows me in real life, how fucked up is this. The day we left Grahamstown to come back to CT was the exact same day nine years ago that I bailed off the side of the Great Hall!

In fact, at the exact same time we were on the road heading to PE, I would have been taking that same drive nine years ago, except I was all smashed up in the back of an ambulance.

I’m like the six million dollar man Winking smile

 

 

J-Rab has some more pics of the crazy shit we got up to on holiday, I’ll try get them off her tomorrow. In the meantime I’d better get back to the grind.

Another day another dollar right? Bleaugh.

-ST

18
Apr
11

It’s Happened Again…

By SlickTiger 2 Comments
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
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Remember that story I told you guys about when J-Rab fell down the stairs and I got all creeped out because I thought people would think I was secretly beating her and I’d get arrested and spend a good long time in prison getting nailed in the corn hole?

It’s happened again.

We went ice-skating on Saturday night and one minute everything was cool, everything was fun and we were going around and around the rink, easy peesy Japanesey.

 

 

Then I decided to up the tempo a little and start skating at an inhumanly fast pace because, well, I’m a guy and we’re retarded like that.

Poor J-Rab was skating like her life depended on it trying to keep up and basically skating on one skate at a time to get some nice momentum going when she hit a huge divot in the ice and lost her shit.

Out of the corner of my eye I just saw limbs flailing and my stomach instantly lurched as I turned my head just in time to see J-Rab literally land on her face.

 

 

I instantly lost my shit as well because going fast is easy, but stopping can be tricky when the side of the rink isn’t there to conveniently bash into.

I ended up falling too, but in a totally controlled way that involved me going into a downward-facing dog position as I used my hands to slow me down, managed to turn around and then skated straight into one of the guys trying to help her back up.

Luckily she didn’t break anything, but she got some nasty scrapes and bruises and it definitely looks like she’s been in a fight.

Wonderful. Nothing quite like the judgemental, disapproving stares of total strangers whenever we’re out in public together and they happen to glance our way.

“Fell ice skating, eh? Sure buddy, just like the time she fells down the stairs, right? We’d like you to please come with us…”

 

 

I’m thinking of creating a protective foam suit that encases J-Rab so she can just bounce off things like a marshmallow and not get so fucked up all the time.

If anyone else out there has girlfriends (or boyfriends) that are equally as clumsy I’m happy to build you one too. We’ll have to negotiate a fee of course, but when you think how many hospital bills you’ll be saving, I’m sure you’ll agree its totally worth it.

-ST

13
Apr
11

Tiger In The Hilton

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
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Being one of South Africa’s preeminent bloggers definitely has its perks – free flights to exotic destinations, free accommodation in luxury resorts, a zippy little Audi R4 to just drive where ever the hell I want and invites to sick launch events where I’m treated like royalty are just some of the spoils of being basically the most badass blogger in the country.

Yesterday was no different, I was invited to the media launch of the new Hilton Hotel on Buitengracht and wow, that place is p1mped to the max.

 

 

 

 

Lets jump straight to some bullet points about this shiny new hotel because they’re way easier to write than actual sentences:

 

  • 137 rooms in total
  • 65 King Deluxe Rooms
  • 34 twin rooms
  • 16 Executive King Delux Rooms (basically the most face-meltingly awesome hotel room you’ve ever seen, about the same size as the flat I live in)
  • 8 floors of rad
  • 7 one bedroom suites
  • 5 Executive Twin Rooms

 

So what who cares, it’s a hotel with a bunch of rooms, this city’s FULL of them right? Well, here’s what I like to call the ‘magic dust’ that makes this hotel pretty damn awesome (and no, I don’t mean Colombian blow, I mean the stuff that comes out of the end of Tinkerbell’s wand. Um, wait. That sounded wrong…)

If you stay at the Hilton you get:

 

  • 24-Hour in-room dining service
  • Laundry / valet service
  • Wi-Fi internet
  • DVD player
  • Hair drying and shaving facilities
  • In-room electronic safe
  • Outdoor heated swimming pool
  • Fitness centre, sauna and steam room

 

 

All in all, it’s a pretty sweet hotel, of course, I’d have to actually stay in the place to give it the full, in-depth review it deserves but the two hours that I spent at the media function were neat-o!

We were taken on a full tour of the place during which they told us that the hotel also has a bunch of built-in, eco-friendly features like the lift lights only turn on when the doors open and people get in and all the power in the rooms is switched off until you swipe your card at the door.

There are also three restaurants in the hotel, Bistro 126, Mezbaan Indian Restaurant and Signal Hill Terrace, each with its own different vibe and signature dishes. We sampled some finger foods from Mezbaan and phwoar! They were amazing.

Then at the end of it all, we were given gigantic media packs that comprised of neat little high quality hubblies, a box full of traditional Indian spices that you can pretty much never find at Pick ‘n Pay and some delicious filter coffee that I sampled this morning which might also explain why all these sentences are so goddamn long (breathe damnit Tiger, breathe).

A big thanks to the folks at Fleishman-Hillard for putting together a killer event and the kief ous from the Hilton Hotels group (especially Peter – he’s a rockstar) for taking us around the place and not giving me dirty looks when I set my champagne refilling switch to ‘infinite repeat’.

I blame Yummy. It was all his fault.

 

 

Roll credits.

-ST

08
Apr
11

Please Dear God Let Today End Soon

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Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
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You know that feeling when your brain swells to twice its normal size in your skull, your tongue tastes like you’ve been licking dog asshole and your guts are a soupy mess, threatening to rupture at any given moment?

I know that feeling. Right now I AM that feeling.

Holy shit did we party last night.

When you leave the house dressed like this, you know shit’s gonna get fucked up but good.

 

 

We called it a “Dan Nash Bash”, it was the leaving party for the man himself who has left our company to move onto bigger, better things and because ol’ Nash loves a good party, the entire office showed up in full force and started hitting the sauce with gusto.

J-Rab looked sexy as hell and I looked like at any minute I might just whip out a six shooter and shoot holes in the ceiling whilst yelling “Yeeeee-ha!” in my best Yosemite Sam voice.

At least once in my life I want to party somewhere way out in the desert where I can actually shoot holes in the ceiling. How fucking cool would that be? Slam a tequila back and open fire until it’s raining plaster and ceiling fan.

 

 

I had to lose the beard after awhile though because I kept eating bits of it and it got pretty soggy. Also, it was cutting circulation off to the bottom half of my face which wasn’t ideal.

 

 

The man you see in that photo is one of the best shooters I know, name of Blommie. He’s got a natural eye for filming shit and can work wonders in an editing suite.

Also, he parties like a muthufukkah and is totally fine with getting up onto the bar counter, dancing around a bit and dropping trou. Yeah, Nash and I might have joined him on that mission…

I dunno. Right then and there, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Then the girls got a hold of my beard and this happened.

 

 

Not sure how much more I can really write about last night right now. The pictures are making me feel drunk again.

Here’s my favourite though.

 

 

And so in closing, here’s a quote from the movie I just referenced that jumped into my mind and seems somehow fitting…

“Mickey: The whole world’s comin’ to an end, Mal!
Mallory: I see angels, Mickey. They’re comin’ down for us from heaven. And I see you ridin’ a big red horse, and you’re driving them horses, whippin’ ’em, and the’re spitting and frothing all ‘long the mouth, and the’re coming right at us. And I see the future, and there’s no death, ’cause you and I, we’re angels…
Mickey: I love you, Mal.
Mallory: I know you do baby, and I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

Party on Wayne.

-ST

23
Mar
11

Clifton Second and The Douche Parade

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Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
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Monday was sick, not only because it was a public holiday, but also because we managed to get our shit together and head to the beach for what turned out to be a glorious day in the sun, sneaking red wine when no one was looking and laying in the sun, staring at the big beautiful blue sky.

We chose a spot right at the back of second beach and set up base camp, right behind some pretty innocuous looking green towels, nothing special going on there.

Then, about 15 minutes later the owners of the towels came back and turned out to be the second and third most gorgeous women on the beach (after J-Rab of course – BOOYA!).

What followed can only be described as a total feeding frenzy. One total douchebag after the next came to get in on the action with the lovely ladies in front of us, each one trying a totally different angle to win them over.

Lemme tell you, reality TV has NOTHING on watching that shit unfold in real life. Our favourites were team no.1, who approached the belters with possibly the worst line in the history of lines: “We’ve been watching you from our balcony up there for the last 30 minutes and wanted to come down and say hi.”

Congratulations. You have miraculously managed to come across as creepy, desperate AND too fucking rich for your own good in one fantastically cringe-worthy line.

It just got better from there. Here’s a pic The MAEN! snapped off his GuyPhone which shows both men perching, just like vultures, on either side of the hotties.

 

 

Had I the presence of mind, I would have definitely taken my cell phone out and documented the guy that came after them, AND the guy after that who the girls seemed to actually like (he had a cute dog though, bonus points) but to be honest, I was enjoying the wine and the sun too much to think about that.

Action was with us as well. He said that he was pretty sure one of the girls was Tanit Phoenix but who’s to say? You can’t really tell at all from this pic.

Bottom line is I felt a strange kind of liberation watching all this because there was a time when I would have been cooking up a whole lot of bullshit lines in my own head to approach girls like that whether it was on the beach or in a club, and it felt good to honestly not give a shit about that.

When you have a good woman the rest of them take a back seat and let me tell you brother, it’s like a lead blanket being lifted off your shoulders the moment you realise you’ve found something worth fighting for and it means more to you than any random piece of ass on the beach or anywhere else.

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about how lucky I am to wake up next to J-Rab every morning and lay my head down next to hers every night. There isn’t a woman in the world that can hold a flame to that gorgeous Tigress and God knows, I love her with every fibre, cell and sinew in me.

-ST

15
Mar
11

Okes Who Like To KLAP IT #1

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick, Good Times and Killer Posts
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There’s nothing flippin’ more lekker than getting together with a bunch of okes who are MASSIVE AND RIPPED and MOERING other okes stukkend! When a oke can do this with his chommies he feels a POWERFUL sense of comrahderie because he’s one of the MANNE and no other oke can mess with him!

On Saturday I watched the tightest group of chommies I’ve seen in flippin’ AGES run up and down a field and MOER the flippin’ SHIT out of these other okes who weren’t that tight and probably could have used another 4 sessions a week in the gym, KLAPPING IT, instead of sitting around on their arses being flippin’ USELESS.

 

 

The group of chommies I’m talking about here call themselves WOLFPACK RFC and jislaaik, these guys are a buncha TUFF OUS! Saturday was their first rukby game against some moffie team who I forgot the name of and charnas, all I can say is the moffie ous lost something like 40 – 11 and it was embarrassing how kak they were.

 

 

But the thing that showed me that these okes were TIGHT, as TIGHT as okes can be was after the game they had a lekker huddle and howled like real life WOLFS and then KLAPPED PUSHUPS BOET! Lekker FAST AND HARD right there on the field!

Then after the pushups the okes jumped into an INFLATIBLE POOL and had a lekker jol together hugging each other and showing their flippin MASSIVE AND RIPPED muscles to the belters that were running around, unable to control themselves cause the okes were MONSTERS!

 

 

After that many, many cold beers were klapped and tales told of the EPIC game that was WOLFPACK RFC’s first ever rukby match and all I can say okes is well flippin’ done guys, at this rate you will KILL pretty much any team that is flippin’ dumb enough to think they can TOUCH YOU.

Keep on klapping!

-ST

21
Feb
11

The Tiger Hits The U2 Concert, Has The Time Of His Life

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Categories: Being Slick, Events, Gig Reviews and Good Times
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I wouldn’t call myself the world’s biggest U2 fan, so it’s safe to say I went in there with pretty much zero expectations and had my mind blown in every conceivable way.

 

 

J-Rab and I hit the Cape Town stadium at about 4.30 to beat the (non-existent) traffic and make sure we got into the VIP lounge that Nokia very kindly provided us with tickets for. Problem was the lounge only opened at 6pm so we bought a couple of beers and killed a bit of time wandering around the stadium and checking out THE CLAW.

 

 

THE CLAW has gotten a shiteload of press over the last two weeks and for good reason. It’s possibly the single coolest staging rig I’ve ever seen. It’s colossal and looks like it could get up and start walking like some giant killer spider-robot, blasting the audience with intense death rays at any minute.

We got a lot of pics of it before it was all lit up, much to the dismay of one of the security guards we had a chat with who was like, “You’re not allowed to take pictures.”

“What?” I said, “We’re allowed to take pictures?”

“No,” he replied, “not allowed.”

“Ok,” I said, and took some pictures. He smiled at me, I smiled back. What a rad guy.

Once they opened the VIP lounge, I was so excited I bounded in there and immediately ordered two suitcases (what?! They didn’t have any tequila ok?) and a couple more beers. Nokia really pulled out all the stops – for the next two hours I was like a kid at Christmas, munching all manner of froo-froo finger ding-a-lings, taking goofy pictures with J-Rab and drinking suitcases like there was no tomorrow.

 

 

At 8 they closed the VIP lounge and we headed upstairs to catch some of the Springbok Nude Girls set, which would have been a lot better if the sound was sorted out. As it was, it sounded a little like the guys were playing underwater which is apparently an old trick that’s been used for years in the industry – the headline act gets the killer sound and the supporting guys play through amplifiers made of rusty tin cans.

After the Nudies finished up, J-Rab and I went in search of some more free drinks and were immediately drawn, like moths to a flame, to this mesmerising green light that was glowing at the Heineken VIP bar.

“What do you think that is?” J-Rab asked in awe.

“I dunno…” I replied, “but Jeannie D’s in there so it must be important.”

“Go see if you can get us some free drinks.”

“Roger that.”

I approached the security guy at the entrance with the kind of total confidence only 7 suitcases can give you and proceeded to walk straight past him.

He gripped my arm like a vice.

“Where’s your wristband?”

“Right here brother,” I said, proudly displaying my white Nokia lounge VIP wristband.

“That’s the wrong colour,” he said, sternly.

“What! I’m the wrong colour?! What the hell is this, the Apartheid Bar?”

“Your WRISTBAND is the wrong colour.”

“What in God’s name are you talking about?”

“It’s white. It’s supposed to be black.”

“So it’s the REVERSE Apartheid Bar? Man, I can’t wait to blog about this unfair discrimination!”

“Please step aside sir, this is for people who were invited to the Heineken bar ONLY.”

“Cool. Whatever. I’m too white for this bar. It’s cool, I understand…”

As I was sulking off to tell J-Rab the bad news, I saw a MAJOR flaw in the security setup. White blocks.

 

 

They were at the perfect height for sitting on and then, when no one was looking, casually swinging your legs over onto the other side and then casually standing up and WAPOW! You were in the Heineken Reverse Apartheid Lounge.

The second both J-Rab and I had executed this security-defying manoeuvre we whipped out the camera and took about 15 pictures of ourselves pulling more goofy faces while we talked to each other in very snooty voices indeed because we were in the HEINEKEN LOUNGE BABY!

 

 

We swanned over to the bar to start klapping some more free drinks and very quickly froze in our tracks. The people here, they all had cards. Heineken cards! And these cards, you had to produce them to get the sauce – no card, no sauce. J-Rab and I hovered at the bar, furiously trying to think up some way to beat the system when who stepped in front of us? Liesl Van Der Westhuizen, that’s who!

Now, I know what you’re thinking, Liesl V, Schmiesl V, who cares. Well, I’m here to tell you that Liesl Van Der Westhuizen is a fucking cool person. The second her and her boyfriend stepped in front of us she turned around to apologise for cutting in front of us to which I calmly replied, “No sweat. We’re not even supposed to be here, we slipped past security to score some free drinks but apparently you need a green card or something…”

“Do you guys want some drinks?” she said, without even skipping a beat, “We’ll get you some!”

And that’s how we ended up drinking in the Heineken bar for free with Liesl V. Until security kicked us out. That was kinda embarrassing. But we met up with Liesl outside again and they got us a SECOND ROUND OF DRINKS!

What a lovely person, seriously. I don’t care what anyone says about her, Liesl is cool in my books. She helped a Tiger out so I’ll have no more Liesl-bashing on this site thank you very much. Um. Not that there ever was any to begin with, but yeah. Just so you know.

 

 

After that U2 took to the stage and THE CLAW came to life in a multitude of colours and images and flashing lights. Unfortunately by this stage J-Rab and I were about twelve sheets to the wind so it’s hard to recall the exact details of the concert, but I can confirm this much – U2 put on an INCREDIBLE show and no, I’m not just saying this because I was there and you weren’t.

About halfway through the set, J-Rab and I somehow managed to get into the outer golden circle to get some pics from the ground just in time for them to play “Sunday Bloody Sunday” and “One” which, I’ll be honest, was an emotional moment for me. It’s my favourite U2 song of all time and hearing the guys play it live right there in front of us was intense.

 

 

Not sure if I was cool with all the Nelson Mandela / Desmond Tutu references and imagery that we were bombarded with and the snippets from interviews with both of them, I just think it’s a pretty obvious ploy to get the crowd all gooey with emotion (it worked like a bomb).

But I’ll let it slide because U2 have always been a political band and have actually done a lot of good in this world. Also, in all fairness, I don’t think I’ve ever watched a band play in this country and NOT mention Nelson Mandela or Desmond Tutu in some way so I’ll reserve judgement on this one.

It was a brilliant experience and an amazingly well-executed concert. Big up to Nokia for making it all possible, you guys spoiled us and we really appreciated every second of it, let’s be pals forever.

In closing, here’s a pic of THE CLAW in its full glory after a massive CONE of TV screens extended down towards the stage like it was going to tractor-beam the band into space.

 

 

Good times Winking smile

-ST

15
Feb
11

Saturday At Sidewalk Cafe

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Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
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If you don’t already know Sidewalk Cafe in Vredehoek you need to head on down there one Saturday and grab a bite because the food is incredible, the vibes are awesome and if you’re lucky enough, Dave will be your waiter and for however long you stay there, life will be about as perfect as it can be.

 

 

For us life was as perfect as it could be for about five hours. We rolled into Sidewalk at about 9.30 on Saturday morning, J-Rab, Jennyjenjen, Barbarian, Goff-girl and myself after waking up hungover as hell from our housewarming the night before and marvelling that we were all still alive.

We went to meet up with friends of Goff-Girl’s who were just finishing a scrumptious breakfast of fresh fruit juices, muesli, yoghurt, honey and tea, so naturally we all sat down and ordered a round of beers.

From there the wheels came off completely. By 10.30 we were onto the Bloody Marys and sometime around lunchtime a round of tequilas came out followed by a police van that parked in the street right next to us. We knew we had total immunity as long as we stayed put though so that’s exactly what we did and sooner or later they moved on, all of us smiling and waving at them like a bunch of asylum escapees.

 

 

It felt good not to give a shit. It felt good to spend the morning getting loaded at a ridiculously early hour with my friends while other people went jogging up the street or came to Sidewalk in their loafers to enjoy a quaint little meal and saw the chaos that was unfolding at  our table.

And all the while, Dave endured. Like some stalwart captain of a ship full of maniacs, he stood his ground because he’d seen this before many, many times and at least we added a random element into his day that he seemed to enjoy.

“I want a big flower for behind my ear,” J-Rab turned around and randomly blurted out as Dave was walking past and I swear to God, the man didn’t even flinch or look surprised or perplexed or off-guard in any conceivable way. He just said “Sure” like it was the most normal request he’d ever heard, walked over to a nearby tree and came back with the perfect flower.

 

 

It was good times I tell ya, Sidewalk Cafe gets the Tiger stamp of approval. Go there every day this week and the week after and the week after. Dig the view from the stoep outside and have a Bloody Mary or 10.

Life really doesn’t get much better than that Smile

-ST

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