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12
May
11

Album Launch: Taxi Violence – Long Way From Home

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick, Events, Gig Reviews and Good Times
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Awhile back I bitched and moaned about how South African bands are a bunch of limp dick unclefuckers who need to man the fuck up and play some dirty, sexy rock music already.

Well, I’m happy to say I can add one band to the list of SA bands I actually like and that band is Taxi Violence.

I saw them live at Mercury a month or two back when they did a seriously killer cover of “Riders On The Storm” with We Set Sail. I was well impressed not only with the cover, but also Taxi Violence themselves who, much like Queens Of The Stone Age, have breathed life back into old school 60s / 70s rock and made it unapologetically badass.

 

 

Then, about two weeks back, I ran into George (frontman and vocalist) at Mercury and did this thing I do when I’m drunk when I shoot the breeze with people in bands like I’m catching up with an old highschool buddy.

It’s a test because some people in bands think they’re God’s fucking gift to the planet so I talk to them like they’re normal humans and they either act like I’m a weirdo and run away or they shoot the breeze back and we end up having epic discussions about music and the South African scene.

George definitely proved to be a stand up guy and even invited me to check out the launch of their acoustic album Long Way From Home.

So J-Rab and I headed on down to the Plane-arium for an intimate showcase of what the Taxi lads have been up to and I was pretty blown away.

 

 

Old favourites like “The Mess”, “Devil ‘n Pistol” and “The Turn” sound like they’ve been taken apart and rebuilt from scratch, a refreshing change from most bands who just swap electric guitars for acoustic ones and serve up warmed up leftovers thinly disguised as an album actually worth listening to.

Their acoustic rendition of “Heads and Tails” is particularly noteworthy both on the album and when they played it live. It was pretty hilarious us all reclining on our seats in the Plane-arium with the stars wizzing overhead because whenever Taxi got the crowd bopping your seatback would start moving in time to the music as other people sitting in the same row literally “rocked” out. “Heads And Tails” produced that effect immediately.

They’ve also shot a new video for the song, which they opened their set with which sadly they haven’t uploaded to their YouTube channel yet, but look out for it when they do, it’s a very cool take on the Groundhog Day premise and, in keeping with the song, asks the question if you knew the dice were rigged, how would you play the game?

 

 

One of my songs they played was their new track “Long Way From Home”, about a country boy hitting the big city, a dreamer who “Followed the buzz until he hit the hive”. It’s got an upbeat, bluesy / rock flavour played with bright, jangling guitars and tambourines that reminded me of some of the earlier Supergrass albums.

I’d highly recommend checking out Taxi’s FB page for their upcoming gigs so you can get a chance to hear their acoustic set and, if you’re lucky enough, getting a picture with the square-headed mascott that adorns the new album cover.

 

 

So big up to George for the invite and the guys from Taxi Violence for a killer gig and for hooking me up with a copy of the new album. It doesn’t look like it in the picture below, but I was really stoked to get the actual, physical album. I think that’s the first CD I’ve been given in about 5 years.

 

 

-ST

10
May
11

Free Comic Book Day Hell’s Yeah!

By SlickTiger 7 Comments
Categories: Being Slick and Events
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Me and comic books go way back.

When I was about six years old, I went to stay with my crazy aunt and uncle for a few weeks while my folks were on holiday and basically had the time of my life.

 

 

Every day my uncle would arrive home with a bag of Tomato Sauce chips and two comic books tucked under his arm for me.

I still remember lying on the floor in the lounge of that mad, mushroom-shaped house, happily munching on the chips while my grubby red-stained fingers turned the pages hungrily.

Some of the comics he bought me were legit titles like Superman and Spiderman, but mostly they were a melting pot of a whole lot of weird shit that other countries probably weren’t buying so SA got them shipped in at super-low wholesale rates to stack news vendor shelves and warp fragile little minds like mine.

 

 

After that I didn’t really get back into them until my first year in high school when a buddy at the time who was completely obsessed filled me in on the entire X-Men saga that was going on at the time (Age Of Apocalypse, look it up, it was badass) and got me interested in the myriad of stories that comprise the Marvel universe.

His prize comic was the first Wolverine comic, published back in ‘89. Of course, Wolverine had featured in tons of X-Men comics before that, but ‘89 was the first time he was given his own title.

 

 

I always wanted to read that comic, but even taking it out of its cardboard-backed plastic sheath would have caused my buddy instant heart failure so I just admired the cover from a distance, feigning excitement when all I really felt was seething hatred for the spoilt little prick.

I eventually did get to read the entire Age Of Apocalypse series though when I was in hospital after an altercation with some asphalt that nearly left me dead, but that’s a story for another time Winking smile

During varsity I became friends with Graumpot, one of the biggest comic book freaks I’ve ever had the pleasure of living with.

Through him I read a buttload of comics – the entire Preacher series, the entire Invisibles series, most of Sandman, most of the Lucifer series, Wolverine: Origins and Wolverine: Ends, a whole bunch of Batman and one of my favourite Marvel comics of all time, Marvel Zombies (you HAVE to read it, it’s brilliant).

 

 

See, with comics I discovered one of life’s undeniable truths, that if there’s one thing better than a great novel, it’s a great novel with pictures.

So on Saturday I went through to Reader’s Den (across the street from Cavendish) for Free Comic Book Day, an international event that takes place on the first weekend in May where all comic book stores the world over hand out free comic books to whoever wants them.

J-Rab was working so I figured I’d kill some time and head on down to take pictures of the freaks, grab a free comic book or two and head home.

 

 

Then I made the mistake of browsing through the literally hundreds of graphic novels they were selling and what did I find? Volume 1 of a Wolverine graphic novel that included that first Wolverine comic I’d so coveted back when I was a zit-faced little shit kicker and even better than that, it was going for fifty bucks!

Right after that I found Volume 3, also going for fifty bucks! Then I made the rookie error of asking one of the guys working behind the tables scattered with graphic novels if he’d seen Volume 2 anywhere.

Within 5 minutes he’d told all his buddies helping him to look for it and next thing I knew they started off-loading Wolverine graphic novels on me like dump trucks at a landfill.

 

 

Two hundred and eighty bucks and an hour later I found myself shuffling back to my car with no less than five Wolverine graphic novels wandering what the fuck just happened.

But seriously, five graphic novels for R280 is pretty goddamn cheap. Normally it would have cost me R870 (no shit, the comics had the normal prices crossed out in red on all their covers with the new prices written underneath) which means normally I wouldn’t have bought fucking one, which means I still wasted R280.

Still though, I started reading them right after I got home and they’re pretty cool, very old school, but still badass.

And just in case I haven’t scared all my female readers off this site for life, look what else I found guys, the FIRST EVER comic book that ever featured Wolverine and it wasn’t even an X-Men comic, it was a fucking HULK comic!

 

 

I think we’ve all learned an important lesson here kids. When the next Free Comic Book Day rolls around take my advice and get there early with fistfuls of cash at the ready, wahoo!

-ST

04
May
11

Tiger Back In Action!

By SlickTiger 2 Comments
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Hey Party People!

It’s been fucking ages, how the hell are all ya crazy basterds?

I hope you all had a killer Easter and took the three days that magically turned into 11 like I did. Yesterday was actually my first day back in the orifice, but to be honest, I was too depressed to blog so I just kinda moped around feeling sorry for myself and slouched at my desk surfing porn.

It was an epic holiday though, we went up the East Coast, checked out the Knysna Elephants, stopped at Storm’s River, stopped at PE and headed on through to Grahamstown which was a total mindfuck in itself.

 

 

In GTown I stopped by my old digs, which we affectionately used to call The Zombie Mansion, and man-o-man it hasn’t changed one bit.

 

 

We had so many good times in that house, it was awesome to see it still standing and judging from the sarongs that were being used as curtains in some rooms, I’d say it’s definitely still a student digs.

It’s the biggest house I’ve ever lived in and rent was R1080 a month, how crazy is that?! We threw parties in that house that were so epic I still get random flashbacks from them that make me hide under my desk mumbling incoherently for up to 9 hours at a time.

I’m glad I got this pic though because sometime while we were living in this house, this camera randomly appeared one day and nobody could figure out who it belonged to, so I used the film remaining in it to take a whole lot of pictures of the house before I left GTown at the end of varsity.

I kept the camera for another year before I decided to finally develop the film and I was well stoked to find out a) what else was on the film strip and b) see pics of my old digs.

And so with great trepidation I drove to the nearest Kodak shop and handed the camera over to the guy behind the counter.

“Develop this shit my good man,” I said to him, “but just know this: I only took the pictures at the END of the filmstrip, the others were in the camera when I found it, so if there’s any weird shit on there, I swear it’s not mine!”

“Ok,” he said and opened the camera. “It’s empty.”

“It’s whaaaaaaaaaaaaattt?!” I replied, incredulously.

“Empty. No film inside it.”

“But it said 22 pictures! What the hell man, it wound on and everything!”

“Mechanical error probably. Sorry.”

 

 

So I’m stoked I got something to remember the Zombie Mansion by, even if it was taken years after we’d already left.

Oh, and for anyone reading this who knows me in real life, how fucked up is this. The day we left Grahamstown to come back to CT was the exact same day nine years ago that I bailed off the side of the Great Hall!

In fact, at the exact same time we were on the road heading to PE, I would have been taking that same drive nine years ago, except I was all smashed up in the back of an ambulance.

I’m like the six million dollar man Winking smile

 

 

J-Rab has some more pics of the crazy shit we got up to on holiday, I’ll try get them off her tomorrow. In the meantime I’d better get back to the grind.

Another day another dollar right? Bleaugh.

-ST

18
Apr
11

It’s Happened Again…

By SlickTiger 2 Comments
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
Tags: , , , ,

Remember that story I told you guys about when J-Rab fell down the stairs and I got all creeped out because I thought people would think I was secretly beating her and I’d get arrested and spend a good long time in prison getting nailed in the corn hole?

It’s happened again.

We went ice-skating on Saturday night and one minute everything was cool, everything was fun and we were going around and around the rink, easy peesy Japanesey.

 

 

Then I decided to up the tempo a little and start skating at an inhumanly fast pace because, well, I’m a guy and we’re retarded like that.

Poor J-Rab was skating like her life depended on it trying to keep up and basically skating on one skate at a time to get some nice momentum going when she hit a huge divot in the ice and lost her shit.

Out of the corner of my eye I just saw limbs flailing and my stomach instantly lurched as I turned my head just in time to see J-Rab literally land on her face.

 

 

I instantly lost my shit as well because going fast is easy, but stopping can be tricky when the side of the rink isn’t there to conveniently bash into.

I ended up falling too, but in a totally controlled way that involved me going into a downward-facing dog position as I used my hands to slow me down, managed to turn around and then skated straight into one of the guys trying to help her back up.

Luckily she didn’t break anything, but she got some nasty scrapes and bruises and it definitely looks like she’s been in a fight.

Wonderful. Nothing quite like the judgemental, disapproving stares of total strangers whenever we’re out in public together and they happen to glance our way.

“Fell ice skating, eh? Sure buddy, just like the time she fells down the stairs, right? We’d like you to please come with us…”

 

 

I’m thinking of creating a protective foam suit that encases J-Rab so she can just bounce off things like a marshmallow and not get so fucked up all the time.

If anyone else out there has girlfriends (or boyfriends) that are equally as clumsy I’m happy to build you one too. We’ll have to negotiate a fee of course, but when you think how many hospital bills you’ll be saving, I’m sure you’ll agree its totally worth it.

-ST

13
Apr
11

Tiger In The Hilton

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Being one of South Africa’s preeminent bloggers definitely has its perks – free flights to exotic destinations, free accommodation in luxury resorts, a zippy little Audi R4 to just drive where ever the hell I want and invites to sick launch events where I’m treated like royalty are just some of the spoils of being basically the most badass blogger in the country.

Yesterday was no different, I was invited to the media launch of the new Hilton Hotel on Buitengracht and wow, that place is p1mped to the max.

 

 

 

 

Lets jump straight to some bullet points about this shiny new hotel because they’re way easier to write than actual sentences:

 

  • 137 rooms in total
  • 65 King Deluxe Rooms
  • 34 twin rooms
  • 16 Executive King Delux Rooms (basically the most face-meltingly awesome hotel room you’ve ever seen, about the same size as the flat I live in)
  • 8 floors of rad
  • 7 one bedroom suites
  • 5 Executive Twin Rooms

 

So what who cares, it’s a hotel with a bunch of rooms, this city’s FULL of them right? Well, here’s what I like to call the ‘magic dust’ that makes this hotel pretty damn awesome (and no, I don’t mean Colombian blow, I mean the stuff that comes out of the end of Tinkerbell’s wand. Um, wait. That sounded wrong…)

If you stay at the Hilton you get:

 

  • 24-Hour in-room dining service
  • Laundry / valet service
  • Wi-Fi internet
  • DVD player
  • Hair drying and shaving facilities
  • In-room electronic safe
  • Outdoor heated swimming pool
  • Fitness centre, sauna and steam room

 

 

All in all, it’s a pretty sweet hotel, of course, I’d have to actually stay in the place to give it the full, in-depth review it deserves but the two hours that I spent at the media function were neat-o!

We were taken on a full tour of the place during which they told us that the hotel also has a bunch of built-in, eco-friendly features like the lift lights only turn on when the doors open and people get in and all the power in the rooms is switched off until you swipe your card at the door.

There are also three restaurants in the hotel, Bistro 126, Mezbaan Indian Restaurant and Signal Hill Terrace, each with its own different vibe and signature dishes. We sampled some finger foods from Mezbaan and phwoar! They were amazing.

Then at the end of it all, we were given gigantic media packs that comprised of neat little high quality hubblies, a box full of traditional Indian spices that you can pretty much never find at Pick ‘n Pay and some delicious filter coffee that I sampled this morning which might also explain why all these sentences are so goddamn long (breathe damnit Tiger, breathe).

A big thanks to the folks at Fleishman-Hillard for putting together a killer event and the kief ous from the Hilton Hotels group (especially Peter – he’s a rockstar) for taking us around the place and not giving me dirty looks when I set my champagne refilling switch to ‘infinite repeat’.

I blame Yummy. It was all his fault.

 

 

Roll credits.

-ST

08
Apr
11

Please Dear God Let Today End Soon

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
Tags: , , , , , ,

You know that feeling when your brain swells to twice its normal size in your skull, your tongue tastes like you’ve been licking dog asshole and your guts are a soupy mess, threatening to rupture at any given moment?

I know that feeling. Right now I AM that feeling.

Holy shit did we party last night.

When you leave the house dressed like this, you know shit’s gonna get fucked up but good.

 

 

We called it a “Dan Nash Bash”, it was the leaving party for the man himself who has left our company to move onto bigger, better things and because ol’ Nash loves a good party, the entire office showed up in full force and started hitting the sauce with gusto.

J-Rab looked sexy as hell and I looked like at any minute I might just whip out a six shooter and shoot holes in the ceiling whilst yelling “Yeeeee-ha!” in my best Yosemite Sam voice.

At least once in my life I want to party somewhere way out in the desert where I can actually shoot holes in the ceiling. How fucking cool would that be? Slam a tequila back and open fire until it’s raining plaster and ceiling fan.

 

 

I had to lose the beard after awhile though because I kept eating bits of it and it got pretty soggy. Also, it was cutting circulation off to the bottom half of my face which wasn’t ideal.

 

 

The man you see in that photo is one of the best shooters I know, name of Blommie. He’s got a natural eye for filming shit and can work wonders in an editing suite.

Also, he parties like a muthufukkah and is totally fine with getting up onto the bar counter, dancing around a bit and dropping trou. Yeah, Nash and I might have joined him on that mission…

I dunno. Right then and there, it just seemed like the right thing to do.

Then the girls got a hold of my beard and this happened.

 

 

Not sure how much more I can really write about last night right now. The pictures are making me feel drunk again.

Here’s my favourite though.

 

 

And so in closing, here’s a quote from the movie I just referenced that jumped into my mind and seems somehow fitting…

“Mickey: The whole world’s comin’ to an end, Mal!
Mallory: I see angels, Mickey. They’re comin’ down for us from heaven. And I see you ridin’ a big red horse, and you’re driving them horses, whippin’ ’em, and the’re spitting and frothing all ‘long the mouth, and the’re coming right at us. And I see the future, and there’s no death, ’cause you and I, we’re angels…
Mickey: I love you, Mal.
Mallory: I know you do baby, and I’ve loved you since the day we met.”

Party on Wayne.

-ST

06
Apr
11

SA Needs Edgier Bands

By SlickTiger 4 Comments
Categories: Being Slick and Killer Posts
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Every time I get into a debate about South African music I always feel like a total jerk because I don’t really follow the local scene that closely so I’m pretty goddamn ignorant, truth be told.

 

 

Still though, local bands don’t really blow my hair back and I say that with the utmost respect to the bands playing in SA because I know it’s fucking hard work and they constantly have to deal with all kinds of rejection, frustration and apathy from audiences who would rather be listening to Lady Gaga blasted over the speakers in some douche-ridden piss hole with a buncha assholes in collared shirts and slut-bags in tiny skirts with and too much self-tan.

But still, I feel it’s time we upped our game. We need edgier bands. Say what you will about Die Antwoord, but they have one thing in their favour that cannot be faulted – a lot of guts.

 

 

They went out there guns blazin’ and shook things up a little. They shocked people, they took people out of their comfort zones, they were rough, siff and ready and the world snatched them up in a heartbeat.

As a country, I think it’s fucking heartbreaking how much talent we have that goes to waste because we’re good enough to get so far, but no further.

It’s like there’s this invisible barrier of FAIL that our artists and musicians and writers hit and then they do one of two things, either go totally mainstream and sell out in every conceivable way in an effort to try and stay on top, or they just die outright.

 

 

Like I said, we need to push the boundaries more, we need to not be so goddamn afraid to do some crazy shit, although I’m a great one to speak.

There was a time when I played my guitar more than I didn’t, when music flowed through me like water through a rusty faucet and came out the other side dirty and beautiful and flecked with pieces of myself infused with something pure as glacial ice.

But that guy, he gave up before he got anywhere. He gigs in his bedroom sometimes. Back in ‘08 he played the Lounge Arena for an audience of one cat. What a fucking chump.

 

 

If anything I guess I’m writing this to tell all those crazy kids out there to stop fucking around and to get more crazy. Don’t do what Tiger-Don’t did and just fucking wimp out. Steel yourselves and get out there and fuck some shit up!

So here’s the dealy-o, I’ll play you crazy basterds a song that is rocking my fucking world right now and if anyone out there knows a band currently playing is SA that sounds in any way similar to this, fucking let it be known brothers and sisters!

Turn me onto that crazy shit and I’ll get behind those fuckers and do what I can in my own Tiger way to support a scene that really needs it.

Here’s The Kills with “Future Starts Slow” off their new album, which drops this week called Blood Pressures.

 

 

Can I get a fuck yeah?!

Fuck yeah.

-ST

01
Apr
11

Do NOT Fuck With The Melissa Riso Police!

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick and Killer Posts
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

If the definition of insanity is hitting your head repeatedly against a wall and expecting a different result every time then I must be one of the craziest fuckers I know, or the dumbest, I haven’t quite figured that one out yet…

 

 

Loyal readers of this junkyard site might recall a post I put up last year that featured the gorgeous model and sometimes porn star Melissa Riso, you can read the original here.

Well, a couple months after I posted that, I got banned from posting on my own site by WordPress because they had been issued a nasty letter from the Melissa Riso Police (henceforth referred to as the MRP) accusing me of copyright infringement.

WordPress very kindly removed the image of her I had used and restored my rights to post on the site three days later, the fascist assholes.

So naturally, once my rights to post on my own goddamn site had been restored, the first thing I did was put up another picture of Melissa Riso as a kind of misguided ‘fuck you’ to the MPR.

 

 

Read all about that here.

In a career of posting things I probably shouldn’t, that single move really stands out as by far the most retarded thing I’ve ever done.

Why the fuck I did that, I have no idea, but holy shot I really wish I hadn’t.

Her lawyers didn’t bother going to WordPress this time around, they went directly to me.

I’m being sued for $65 000.

I don’t know whether to cry or laugh. The letter was emailed through this morning, so there’s always the chance that it’s some kind of very fucked up, twisted April fool’s joke (please dear god) but I forwarded it immediately to my uncle who’s a legal advisor and he says from what he can tell, it’s 100% legit.

My uncle says there’s a chance if we plead guilty to the charges they’re laying against me (basically copyright infringement, using her image without the express permission of her or her agency, engaging in “malicious slander” against her, etc.) they might reduce the amount they’re suing me for, but it would probably also mean taking this site down to placate the fucking fuckers.

I probably shouldn’t even be writing this, but at this stage who the fuck cares? What could they possibly do to me that’s worse than being sued for what works out to be R439,222.68?

 

 

Where the fuck am I even going to find that kind of money?! I mean seriously?! What a load of total fucking bullshit!

If anyone knows any shit hot entertainment lawyers that can help a nigga out, I could seriously use one right about now. This whole thing just seems really unnecessary and nasty. I know I can be an asshole at times, but c’mon! I’m being sued for nearly half a fucking million rand! Nobody deserves that!

Anyway. Have a great weekend. If anyone needs me I’ll be at the bar, putting a sizeable dent in a bottle of whatever whisky I can get my hands on.

The End.

-ST

 

 

 

…ps April Fools 😉

23
Mar
11

Clifton Second and The Douche Parade

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick and Good Times
Tags: , , ,

Monday was sick, not only because it was a public holiday, but also because we managed to get our shit together and head to the beach for what turned out to be a glorious day in the sun, sneaking red wine when no one was looking and laying in the sun, staring at the big beautiful blue sky.

We chose a spot right at the back of second beach and set up base camp, right behind some pretty innocuous looking green towels, nothing special going on there.

Then, about 15 minutes later the owners of the towels came back and turned out to be the second and third most gorgeous women on the beach (after J-Rab of course – BOOYA!).

What followed can only be described as a total feeding frenzy. One total douchebag after the next came to get in on the action with the lovely ladies in front of us, each one trying a totally different angle to win them over.

Lemme tell you, reality TV has NOTHING on watching that shit unfold in real life. Our favourites were team no.1, who approached the belters with possibly the worst line in the history of lines: “We’ve been watching you from our balcony up there for the last 30 minutes and wanted to come down and say hi.”

Congratulations. You have miraculously managed to come across as creepy, desperate AND too fucking rich for your own good in one fantastically cringe-worthy line.

It just got better from there. Here’s a pic The MAEN! snapped off his GuyPhone which shows both men perching, just like vultures, on either side of the hotties.

 

 

Had I the presence of mind, I would have definitely taken my cell phone out and documented the guy that came after them, AND the guy after that who the girls seemed to actually like (he had a cute dog though, bonus points) but to be honest, I was enjoying the wine and the sun too much to think about that.

Action was with us as well. He said that he was pretty sure one of the girls was Tanit Phoenix but who’s to say? You can’t really tell at all from this pic.

Bottom line is I felt a strange kind of liberation watching all this because there was a time when I would have been cooking up a whole lot of bullshit lines in my own head to approach girls like that whether it was on the beach or in a club, and it felt good to honestly not give a shit about that.

When you have a good woman the rest of them take a back seat and let me tell you brother, it’s like a lead blanket being lifted off your shoulders the moment you realise you’ve found something worth fighting for and it means more to you than any random piece of ass on the beach or anywhere else.

There isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t think about how lucky I am to wake up next to J-Rab every morning and lay my head down next to hers every night. There isn’t a woman in the world that can hold a flame to that gorgeous Tigress and God knows, I love her with every fibre, cell and sinew in me.

-ST

15
Mar
11

Okes Who Like To KLAP IT #1

By SlickTiger Leave a Comment
Categories: Being Slick, Good Times and Killer Posts
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

There’s nothing flippin’ more lekker than getting together with a bunch of okes who are MASSIVE AND RIPPED and MOERING other okes stukkend! When a oke can do this with his chommies he feels a POWERFUL sense of comrahderie because he’s one of the MANNE and no other oke can mess with him!

On Saturday I watched the tightest group of chommies I’ve seen in flippin’ AGES run up and down a field and MOER the flippin’ SHIT out of these other okes who weren’t that tight and probably could have used another 4 sessions a week in the gym, KLAPPING IT, instead of sitting around on their arses being flippin’ USELESS.

 

 

The group of chommies I’m talking about here call themselves WOLFPACK RFC and jislaaik, these guys are a buncha TUFF OUS! Saturday was their first rukby game against some moffie team who I forgot the name of and charnas, all I can say is the moffie ous lost something like 40 – 11 and it was embarrassing how kak they were.

 

 

But the thing that showed me that these okes were TIGHT, as TIGHT as okes can be was after the game they had a lekker huddle and howled like real life WOLFS and then KLAPPED PUSHUPS BOET! Lekker FAST AND HARD right there on the field!

Then after the pushups the okes jumped into an INFLATIBLE POOL and had a lekker jol together hugging each other and showing their flippin MASSIVE AND RIPPED muscles to the belters that were running around, unable to control themselves cause the okes were MONSTERS!

 

 

After that many, many cold beers were klapped and tales told of the EPIC game that was WOLFPACK RFC’s first ever rukby match and all I can say okes is well flippin’ done guys, at this rate you will KILL pretty much any team that is flippin’ dumb enough to think they can TOUCH YOU.

Keep on klapping!

-ST

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