How insane is that. For the first time since my professional career began back in 2006, come 5pm this afternoon, I will officially be unemployed with absolutely nothing lined up for the future.
The thought that on Monday, when all you guys are getting up, getting dressed and hitting your cubicles, I’ll just be lying in bed staring at the ceiling fills me in equal parts with terror and fathomless joy.
So what gives? Why the sudden decision to pull out of the race and just park off by the side-lines for awhile? Did I win the lottery? Inherit a fortune of a distant great-aunt? Finally lose my goddamned mind?
It’s part of a bigger plan boys and girls, that’s all I can say at this point. All these weeks and months your Tiger pal has been hatching plans, making schemes, throwing the rule book out the window, risking everything.
The year’s not even half done and already I know I will never, never forget 2014 because sometimes you just know as things are happening to you, right there in the moment, that in one way or another you’ll be feeling the aftershocks for the rest of your life.
It gives you new eyes, you see the world differently. The important things swim back into focus – your family, your friends, the people you love, the place you live in all it’s disparate beauty, it’s endearing dysfunctionality.
A road you thought you knew so well, like the face of an old friend, reveals a dimple you’d never noticed before. A bus stop spilling over with people in the rain is suddenly so much more than the steel and plastic its built from. You see deeper, right into the heart of the city you call home and instead of the indifference you thought was there before, there is only acceptance, solace and an inescapable feeling of aching nostalgia.
I thought TS Eliot was a wanker when I read his poetry in university. I just didn’t get it, I didn’t understand what the hell he was trying to say. We studied Four Quartets and 90% of it went straight over my head.
But that last 10% stuck and I’m glad it did because the older I get, the more I get it.
We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.
I don’t know what the future holds for me. Honestly. I’m not writing this to be cryptic, I’m not trying to lead you guys on, I’m not deliberately trying to be vague. I’m just expressing what it’s like to face down this giant beast of uncertainty armed with nothing but the unwavering belief that somehow, somehow, everything is going to be ok.
I’m trying not to jinx this. But all I can say is that very soon I’ll know if this is going to work or if it’s going to fail dismally. When the time is right and the planets are aligned I’ll spill the beans.
If this works, everything changes.
If it doesn’t, I lick my wounds and figure out what the fuck to do with my life.
There is no fate but what we make 
-ST
Fortune favors the brave my friend. There are no wrong decisions that we should fear, just right decisions we were never brave enough to make and should have…
Good luck.
Br@*
Good luck Skicky 😉
Go get em man…
While you have some spare time – how about some updates on some of your good old articles – like the one about Top Billing.
I’m still gagging at this nauseating show, and agree – it’s not because everyone and everything that is featured on the show is literally saturated with money, it’s because everyone on that goddamn show is so fake (unquote). Seemingly the fakeness has gone exponential. It’s now 2014. How about a more of the same update. When will this boring program end?? Ditto with the dumbed down un-fake Three Talk – designed for standard fours.
Hey there, I just wanted to say thanks for the inspiration. At the start of the year I ran across your blog and your “eat the elephant” mantra became the inspiration I needed to step out of my comfortable life and make some major changes. Over the last few months, I’ve been viciously eating the elephant but in the last two weeks, it’s been eating me. So as I laid in bed tonight, something told me to check into the initial source of my inspiration and what do you know, you’re last entry was exactly what I needed. You reassured me that I’m okay and as crazy as it seems now, it will work out. Thank you a million times. I pray that you have great success in your new adventures! I know whatever it is you will tackle it head on and it’ll be amazing!
Hey there, I just wanted to say thanks for the inspiration. At the start of the year I ran across your blog and your “eat the elephant” mantra became the inspiration I needed to step out of my comfortable life and make some major changes. Over the last few months, I’ve been viciously eating the elephant but in the last two weeks, it’s been eating me. So as I laid in bed tonight, something told me to check into the initial source of my inspiration and what do you know, your last entry was exactly what I needed. You reassured me that I’m okay and as crazy as it seems now, it will work out. Thank you a million times. I pray that you have great success in your new adventures! I know whatever it is you will tackle it head on and it’ll be amazing!
Sorry for two posts, I’m an elementary school teacher and I made a grammatical error in the first one and have to correct. Weird, I know! 😊 Thanks again!