Them's Fightin' Words

I’m living out one of my childhood dreams at the moment and it’s rad. You guys remember Super Mario 3? With the raccoon suit? I LOVED that game when I was a kid but only ever played it on friend’s consoles.

I got pretty far in the game but never finished it because the Golden China console my buddies had at the time was so glitchy if you even nudged it slightly the game literally disintegrated.

I bought a Wii U almost a year ago, during which time I’ve played exactly three games on it – The Cave (average), Super Mario 3D World (brilliant) and yep, you guessed it, Super Mario 3.

They’ve faithfully ported that old classic onto the Wii, you can buy it from the Nintendo eStore for a paltry R60, and yes, it’s just as radass as you remember it.

It’s also pretty interesting to see how many things they introduced in Mario 3 that have stayed with the series ever since. It was a big game changer for the franchise at the time so that’s what I tell J-Rab – I’m not schloomfing on my ass playing crusty old TV games, I’m conducting “historical research” goddamnit!

Playing Mario obsessively also jogged this memory from the Dark Time Of No Blogging I recently went through of a radass video Civilian sent me called “Realistic Mario”, check it out:

 

 

Hahahaha! LOLZ yo! Having watched and enjoyed that one I dug a little deeper and found some more.

Like this one simply titled “Realistic Mario: Underwater”.

Anyone guess where this is going?

 

 

Huh. Quite funny. The fish eating them is a nice touch.

Then there’s “Realistic Mario: Yoshi” in which shit goes fucking bananas:

 

 

I liked the wet chewing noises. Classy.

And just in case you were even considering lunch, here’s “Realistic Mario: Koopa Shells”:

 

 

Not gonna lie, I think making the Koopa shells do that every time you jumped on them would actually be pretty rad. Satisfying…

But no, that shit is fucked up and wrong – how the hell would you kick the shells into other Koopas if they just caved in like that?!

Tiger out.

-ST