Archive for May, 2013



15
May
13

Sick Customer Service Award: Afrihost

biglogo1Here at SlickTiger Industries we care deeply about YOU the consumer and want to provide an open and honest forum to celebrate excellent customer service because let’s face it, in South Africa it hardly EVER happens.

I had my doubts when I started this category on the site. We get nailed in the ass so frequently when it comes to customer service, I’d get way more mileage if I changed this to a forum for bitching and moaning.

But that just ain’t my style. Celebrate the positive, give praise where it’s due. Hold hands. Sing Kum Ba Ya, and if you’re looking for an internet service provider don’t even hesitate, go for Afrihost.

We started using Afrihost last year in November because the 3G mobile data we had been using through Nashua Mobile was so over-priced, slow and notoriously unreliable that it was driving us nuts [WARNING: Gratuitous bitching and moaning to follow].

I mean holy shit, we were paying something like R290 a month for (wait for it) 1.5GB of claw-your-face-off slow data. What a total load of shit. And most months we’d end up going over the cap and then heaven help you pal, cause you will get drilled so hard in the gat you won’t be able to walk straight for a week.

 

 

Because here’s the really fucked up thing. When I was with Nashua Mobile / Vodacom, if I wanted to check my data I’d either have to keep an eye out for these crappy smses that were sent to my 3G SIM card notifying me of my data usage (which I ALWAYS forgot to check) or I’d have to log on to Vodacom’s site to check it (which I was terminally useless at remembering the password for).

One month I let things slide for a week without checking only to find that I’d overshot my cap by almost 500MB. Boy did I pay for that mistake – one thousand two hundred South African Ront for having used a grand total of about 2GB. Eina.

It’s a fucking joke. You know how much you pay for 10GB of mobile data with Vodacom? One thousand six hundred Ront! (According to this link on Vodacom’s site).

 

 

Sorry, I’m getting a little worked up here. Reign it back in there Slick, easy Tiger.

Anyway, I was sick of getting shtoomped in the pooper so I decided to do a little digging to sort out an ADSL line in the flat and Afrihost came highly recommended by a lot of the people I spoke with.

Price-wise their offering may not have been the cheapest on the market (at the time I think Axxess had a slightly cheaper offering) but it came pretty damn close.

I’d worked out that if I wanted to go uncapped with a 4Mbps line I was gonna fork out just over R1k a month.

This price changed drastically if I went for a slower line speed, but after the aforementioned face-clawingly-slow speeds I’d experienced some nights on 3G, I wanted the fastest internet money could buy. Also, I’ don’t consume massive amounts of data, so I went for a 15GB capped 4 / 10Mbps line.

 

 

All-in, my ADSL costs me Five hundred and eighty South African Ront every month. And as for speeds, I’m lucky enough to be in an area where I’m connected to a 10Mbps line so I’ve clocked download speeds as fast as 8.26Mbps on www.speedtest.net before. Compare that to the 0.81Mbps speed I was getting on 3G and you can imagine the ear-to-ear grin I get when using the internet now.

But here’s the rub – not only did Afrihost sort out EVERYTHING when it came to getting Telkom guys in to install the line and transferring the line so I pay line rental directly to Afrihost every month, but they kept me informed of their progress every step of the way with emails and smses.

In total it took me a month before I was up and running (the big hold up came from Telkom’s side who really dragged their feet when transferring my line to Afrihost).

If my line gives me any trouble, I can call Afrihost up until midnight and they’ll sort it out. Typically this is a case of about 30mins tops and I’m back up and running. I’m also notified as my data usage hits 50%, 75% and 90% by sms and email and when I hit my cap I don’t get drilled with out of bundle rates, my data just stops.

 

 

If I want more data (at a rate of something like R26 a gig), I just reply to the sms I get when my data runs dry with a number and that’s how many GBs they’ll top me up with.

And best of all, once in awhile, Afrihost decides to be flippin awesome and just sommer give you shitloads of free bandwidth!

In Feb they sent an email saying “Hi Tony, we love the shit out of you. Here, click this link and dig some free bandwidth.” I was a little sceptical but decided to give it a go. After clicking the link a roller appeared on my screen and all these numbers started whirring past until it eventually came to rest on 35%.

Next thing I know, my phone beeps with an sms from Afrihost saying “Congrats, here’s an extra 5GB on your cap, no strings attached. Enjoy!”

 

 

After paying retarded amounts for data, 5GB free just for being a customer was pretty damn sweet.

Get this though, a shitload of their customers apparently complained about this because it only came through during the last week of Feb, so they couldn’t use their free data in time! What a bunch of ungrateful douchebags!

So Afrihost upped the ante and come the first week of March, sent another email apologising for giving us all that rad free data so late in the month and offering to give us MORE free data to make it better!

This time around I clicked the link and almost fell off my chair.

How the fuck is this for amazing:

 

 

With one click my cap went from 15GBs to something like 48GBs! It was retarded! I still had 6GB left at the end of the month, wa-hoo!

Then, at the beginning of this month they send another email saying that for May, June and July they are going to double all our caps just because they love us.

I’ll admit, all the love was getting a little creepy at this point, but whatever DOUBLE MY CAP for the next three months just because I gave them my business? By South African standards that’s basically unheard of.

I can say with 100% certainty that if you’re in the market for insane broadband, you’d be pretty dof not to consider Afrihost and no, they did not pay / bribe me to write this post, I just did it because Afrihost are badass.

End. Van. Storie.

-ST

14
May
13

The Most Hilarious Infomercial Dub I’ve Seen Since The Snuggy

Sticky FingersI don’t watch a lot of TV. In fact, at the time of writing this I don’t even have a television. I have a gigantic flat screen monitor on which I watch movies and series, but not TV, I hate TV.

So I have no idea if South African TV has as many infomercials as it used, the ones that loop to in those dark, ungodly hours when you really should be asleep.

HOWEVER, if you’ve ever been to the States, you’ll know that TV over there is fucking SATURATED with infomercials and my god! They are so awful they’re practically begging to be ripped off.

Enter “Jaboody Dubs” – a group of Youtubers who dub shitty infomercials and make them so creepy, weird and awesome I cracked up completely watching them.

Check this out:

 

 

The granny.

Jesus Christ, the granny.

-ST

13
May
13

Embrace Monday: Illustrations Of Brooding And Desolate Places

daniel-danger03How’s that for a downer of a post for this bright and beautiful Monday morning? “Illustrations of Brooding and Desolate Places” – all that’s missing is a picture of the cubicle farm you’re sitting in as you read this.

I’m posting this because maybe escaping Monday isn’t the best solution. Maybe the best solution is tackling that fucker head on; if Monday is all about brooding and desolation then BRING IT.

After the illustrations you’re about to see by Daniel Danger, your Monday is going to be mother flippin CHEERY in comparison.

To be honest though, looking at these pictures brings back a line that I always loved from the Nirvana song “Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge On Seattle”: I miss the comfort in being sad.

“Enjoy”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And because it’s not always doom and gloom there’s this one which, if you’re an optimist, depicts a girl / woman rising above her situation and literally flying away.

I won’t go into what’s happening in this photo if you’re a pessimist…

 

 

Feeling better?

My pleasure Winking smile

-ST

10
May
13

Friday LOLZ – What Happens When You Smoke 12 Bongs A Day

MAGNUSI always maintained that a bong is like the heroine equivalent of getting stoned; a quick, intense hit that leaves you pretty much incapacitated if executed correctly.

It’s literally been years since I dipped into the mahangajanga, but I still clearly remember (sort of) what it felt like and how, after four or five at most, my perception of reality became somewhat skewed.

Keep this up for about ten years and you’ll reach the level of the people you’re about to see in this video. They practise a martial art called “Yellow Bamboo” which is a “Balinese White Magic and an art of self-development, protection and healing”.

In other words, smoke 12 bongs a day for as long as it takes to believe that you can create a shield of pure energy around you to protect you from your enemies, then go try it out your new-found superpower with your stoner buddies at the lake.

Yeah. I think we all know what happens next…

 

 

I don’t know what’s funnier – the fact that these people actually believe this shit, or the fact that one of them is called MAGNUS.

Have a killer weekend Party People, see ya’ll on Monday.

-ST

09
May
13

The Autotuned News Report Trend Continues

Dead GiveawayThe trend continues, but there’s no way this compares to Bedroom Intruder or Sweet Brown’s classic “Ain’t Nobody Got Time For That” autotuned track.

It’s still a kinda catchy tune though and it’s brought to you by Schmoyoho, the guys who did the original Antoine Dodson track and pretty much invented the autotuned news genre.

I’m sure by now you guys have seen the news interview with Charles Ramsay, the unlikely hero who discovered his neighbour was abducting young women and keeping them locked in his house, some for as long as TEN FUCKING YEARS! Well, if you missed it here’s the original report and autotuned version.

Dig it:

 

 

Kinda cool. Guy looks well stoned, but seems like he’s a decent enough guy right? Salt of the earth type, just a dude doing the right thing at the right time.

Here’s the autotune:

 

 

Kinda catchy. Not my favourite that’s fo damn sure, but yeah.

“We eat RIBS with this dude!”

Impressive considering they turned this around in about 1 day.

Tiger out.

-ST

08
May
13

Free Comic Book Day 2013 – A Whole Other Level Of WTF

FCBD1I’ve become a Free Comic Book Day regular over the past three years. It takes place on the first Saturday of May at Reader’s Den at Stadium On Main and holy shit it’s amazing.

You get different levels of comic book geeks. It probably starts with guys like me who’ve read a bit of this and that, like the medium and go out of curiosity and you get the types you’re about to see in this post.

Free Comic Book Day happens at comic book stores all over the world and is a way to create awareness around comic books and most importantly get people reading them, which I think is a worthy cause.

Like I said, this year was my third FCBD here in Cape Town, so I was used to the odd person rocking up dressed as Wolverine or some obscure anime character only a handful of people could probably identify, but this year people lost they damn MINDS!

 

 

If I could hazard a guess, I’d say there were probably 50 – 60 people dressed up in cosplay gear, it was flippin INSANE.

In terms of size, this year’s FCBD was easily twice as big as last year, which was great to see. I might not be as into comic books as some of the other guys there, but I still fully support them and agree that more people should be reading them.

 

 

The craziest thing about this year’s FCBD though was the fact that instead of tables and tables of discounted comic books and graphic novels being set up in the circular courtyard outside Reader’s Den like they’ve had the past two years, they cleared the space and used it as a stage for groups of extreme cosplay geeks to do dance routines (?).

How flippin weird is this shit:

 

 

 

 

At first I thought it was pretty cool. I mean it’s impressive (and a little bit sad) to see effort these people put into their costumes and dance routines, even though most of them will probably end up…

 

 

But then when I realised they’d included this at the expense of the aforementioned tables stacked with discounted graphic novels I was a bit miffed.

Because of this, the only way to lay your hands on a comic book or graphic novel was to either cue for your free comic book (a matter of about 15 minutes) or cue to get into Reader’s Den itself (a matter of about an hour and a half).

I’m not saying do away with the cosplay dancers, but next year they need to figure out a way that we can have both the tables and the dancers. I mean fuck it, let’s just combine the two and have table dancers!

 

 

Anyway, all in all it was still an awesome day and I got some killer pics like this one with my buddies Spiderman, Rorschach and Iron Man.

 

 

And the holy grail of geeky pics – Wonder Woman and Super Woman AT THE SAME TIME.

 

 

So definitely check out next year’s FCBD at Reader’s Den and put some thought into your radass costume and dance routine ok?

Great. Glad we had this chat.

-ST

07
May
13

Slicky-T Tastes His First Double-Whopper In SA, Cries Tears Of Joy

WHOPPER A3As arguably one of SA’s most influential and widely-read bloggers, I was invited to the first Burger King store to open in South Africa so I could taste a Whopper before the official launch on Wednesday.

That’s right. While you poor basterds were eating some mediocre left-overs for lunch at your desks, I was being treated to a grand tour of SA’s first Burger King by the CEO himself, Jaye Sinclair.

After the tour we were invited to place our orders for anything we wanted off the menu, so naturally everyone went for Whopper combo meals. Everyone except your Tiger pal. He upped the ante and went for a DOUBLE-Whopper combo and wow. He left a changed man.

First, a word about the restaurant itself. The new branch has opened up at 33 Heerengracht, it’s two stories of burger-nomming goodness; here’s the vibe downstairs:

 

 

Upstairs it’s a full-on restaurant that has this really cool mural on the one wall that looks like this:

 

 

The new branch also includes a whole lot of awesome entertainment for kids like PS3s for example:

 

 

A flippin BASKETBALL COURT!

 

 

And the best feature of all, behind the kiddies indoor jungle gym / play area there is a room where interactive games are projected onto the floor.

The games change randomly and there are apparently 1 000 different ones loaded into the system. The games are played by stomping different things projected onto the floor like sheep:

 

 

Or sums:

 

 

The room can also be hired out for kid’s birthdays and custom games can be made for these special occasions, so that’s a pretty cool added benefit.

During the tour, the whole issue of not having bacon on the burgers was raised, but Jaye was very straightforward in his reply – by including bacon products on their menu, Muslim and Jewish customers are immediately being excluded from Burger King.

His aim is not to discriminate against any of his customers and obviously including bacon on the menu contradicts that imperative. They’re looking into including macon on the menu as a bacon substitute, which I think is totally legit.

 

 

Anyone who’s tasted macon will tell you in a second that it’s very difficult to distinguish it from the real thing. Look at Butler’s Pizza – not a scrap of bacon on any of their pizzas, they use macon instead and it tastes pretty damn amazing (heads-up to Sean Stack for pointing that one out to me – holla!).

Once the formalities were over, we proceeded swiftly to the counters and ordered our burgers.

Here’s what that looked like:

 

 

Finally the big moment was upon us. With trembling hands, I opened my DOUBLE-Whopper box and carefully extracted my burger from the paper sleeves they are served in (purely so we could get a good photo. The idea is to eat the burger IN the sleeve to minimise messiness and the chance of your fingers smelling like burger for the rest of the day).

I opened my mouth as wide as I could and, like a shark chomping down on a small fishing boat, my eyes rolled back into my head as I sunk my teeth through layer upon layer of burgery goodness.

 

 

The flavours of the burger started mingling and meshing with each other, flooding my senses in a wash of grilled patty, creamy mayo, crunchy lettuce and tangy gherkin flavour notes that sang like a choir of angels in my mouth.

I swallowed. Things got emotional. A single tear ran streaming down my cheek. I was in burger heaven.

I greedily washed the burger down with the medium Pepsi that came with the meal and then turned my attention to the “medium” fries that came with the meal, the only disappointment in an otherwise perfect combo experience.

I made the rookie error of thinking that I wouldn’t need a large combo as I was already having a DOUBLE-Whopper and as a result was given a tiny portion of fries which was sad because they were perfectly deep-fried – crunchy and salty on the outside and immaculately soft and fluffy on the inside (just like your Tiger pal).

All-in-all though, I’d rate burger King better than McDonalds and definitely on a par with good Steers (it varies from branch to branch) in terms of quality but here’s the kicker, price-wise it’s WAY better than the competition (a Whopper meal will cost you a paltry R39.90, proof follows below).

 

 

So all that’s left to do is get your ass over there when they officially open tomorrow and get ready to experience a whole other level of burger-nomming goodness.

Tiger out.

-ST

06
May
13

Escape Monday: Floaty Girls

NikolayTikhomirov9The craziest thing about this Monday is that I have no idea yet how badly I want to escape it. It only turned Monday 17 minutes ago at the time of writing this, so who knows what the day ahead will hold.

Having said that, it’s a pretty safe bet that I’ll want to escape it based purely on the fact that the weekend has ended and for the next five days I’m going to be working like a slave.

I always find the middle months of the year after April are when things really kick into high gear work-wise. So before today kicks your ass in the head, dig these awesome pics of floaty girls.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The photographer behind this crazy series of pics is Nikolay Tikhomirov (check out more of his work here).

What I’d like to know is how he managed to create these images. Conventional wisdom says insane deep etching on Photoshop, but that doesn’t really explain how he got these girls in these poses in the first place.

I’m going to go with “magic” on this one. The man is obviously some kind of Russian Wizard like Rasputin or something.

Have a killer day folks Winking smile

-ST

03
May
13

Friday LOLZ – Bad Posting Week Addition

tumblr_mlkk0xTI7r1r3k73wo1_500It’s been a bad week for posting here on TFW, no two ways about it. What few posts there have been were all posted late and content has been a little on the thin side.

I blame Workers Day. When that basterd rolled around, I downed tools and kicked firmly into neutral so I could schloomf through the week towards the weekend and them schloomf some more.

So to wrap things up, here is some random interwebs hilarity I’ve found on my travels, carefully stolen from someone who stole it from someone who stole it from someone. Kick back, make some coffee and have a chuckle as we edge ever closer to the weekend, fuck yeah.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As you were soldier.

As you were.

-ST

02
May
13

The Kooks #5Gum Gonzo Experiment Pays Off

X457fTV_JmiRDfVt-lCFFRfH6iUUAwkzkcJ-nkYG9Ao,4qctKN-KXstYv0t6X1IU7jYSOBbDNRBBPehftsc1E20So as you guys know, week before last I gave away some tickets for The #5GumExperience Kooks show in Cape Town in the premise that whoever I gave them to would operate as a spy for SlickTiger Industries.

I was looking for a gonzo-approach to the gig, someone who could slip under my skin and BE the Tiger for the night so they could tell us all about it because tragically, I couldn’t make it.

The girl who won the competition, Leah, stepped up to the plate and wrote the following review of the gig for her Tiger pal and took a whole bunch of pics as well which I’ve taken the liberty to caption below.

So with no further ado, I present to you the Kooks gig write up by Leah:

 

 

PART 1: ARRIVING!

Everyone arrived at Maitland’s secondary school eager to know where the hell we were going. An incredible amount of buses were lined waiting to take everyone which happened to be just around the corner to an industrial area. I couldn’t sit still with anticipation!

An intense beginning if I ever read one. So far the story has it all – eagerness, anticipation, an incredible amount of busses, you name it. Which brings us to Part 2…

 

 

PART 2: FOOD!

There were quite a few food stalls with a bit for everyone, I definitely went for the pizza which was yummy! Reasonably easy to get drinks because of the super long bar! There was only one ATM though so quite a long queue, I was glad I brought enough cash.

Good to know the logistics seemed to be in order, ka-pow! Sounds like it was way better than 2Door Cinema Club where I watched a man murder another with the sharpened end of a plastic spoon for a slice of pizza.

 

 

PART 3: THE BEST PART!

The best part of the evening was being at the front (even though it was to the side) and being able to see the Kooks! It was fantastic to see how much energy they had! Got the crowd into the mood although they didn’t have to.  Loved their accent as well 🙂 Just took a long time between the bands, but they did have a dj to fill in between.

The side-front is actually a tactic I often employ to get as far forward as possible, BUT once you’re up there, then you gotta head for dead centre. It’s the classic concert move – no one really minds if you’re coming from the side, but try pushing from the back and they will give you looks that could weld steel.

 

 

PART 4: SAFFA BANDS!

Beach Party and December Streets who played before were also pretty awesome as well; I actually want to get my hands on their music now!

So do I! In fact, I’m hitting Pirate Bay as I write this…

 

 

PART 5: CONCLUSION!

Just an absolutely fantastic evening all around super stoked I got to experience it! Thank you once again!

Only a pleasure! Here at Tiger Industries we are all about The Love – finding it, sharing it and making it.

Leah, from your write-up it sounds like a truly epic night, sorry I couldn’t be there to party up a storm with you guys, especially considering the effort you both went to to look the part (that Tiger onsie is literally the coolest fucking thing I have ever seen).

So there you have it folks. The Kooks came, they saw, they rocked their sexy accents and they blew ous the fuck AWAY!

Big up to #5Gum for hooking a brother up with the tickets – as always you guys KLAPPED a killer event, nice one.

Until next time!

-ST