Them's Fightin' Words

Lookit your Tiger pal, banging out these flippin’ quality posts just like the old days – reviewing the shit out of shit, helping you guys find rad things to ram into your hungry little brains, what a badass!

Now that I’ve completed the creative writing course I was toiling away at for the past ten weeks, I have slightly more time to dedicate to this site, which I’m pretty happy about.

Believe it or not, every time I have to just repost a funny video to ensure there’s a constant stream of posts on this site, I die inside a little. But enough of that, let’s talk about BADLAND, the raddest iPad game you’ve never played.

I decided to splurge on the $3.99 this game cost based purely on the game’s cool-looking icon in the App Store (which I enlarged and posted above). Which is kinda like judging a book by its microscopic little cover.

Obviously the name sounded compelling as well and yes, I did scroll through some screen shots, eventually deciding fuck it, why not? There’s only so long you can sink countless months into Clash Of Clans before you start to get over it.

 

 

So I did it and 121MB later I was completely immersed in one of the best iPad games I’ve ever played.

BADLAND is beautiful (literally) in its simplicity. There is no complicated story or convoluted plotline to follow, there are no cut-scenes, there isn’t really a story in any form whatsoever.

You play as this weird little feathery round guy who, despite his distinctly poor aerodynamic design, must fly through one side-scrolling level after the other without being squashed, spiked, shot or left behind by the continually panning screen.

There also aren’t any controls. You touch the screen and he flies up, you stop touching and gravity does its thing. It is literally that simple.

 

 

I’ll admit that if it weren’t for the jaw-dropping rich background visuals, eerie atmosphere and incredible physics, it’s unlikely I would have carried on playing past the third level.

Which is the long way of saying the game starts out ridiculously easy. Don’t be fooled, it scales up quickly and before you know it the game’s throwing curveballs that are so devilishly wicked, you can’t help but enjoy it more and more despite the fact that, well, you keep dying.

Then the power-ups start coming thick and fast and with each one, the gameplay dynamic takes a drastic turn.

 

 

The only fault I can find with this game is that I know I’m going to finish it soon and that thought depresses me so much I’m actually rationing the number of levels I play everyday.

If you just play to complete the levels you’ll probably get through them in about 8 – 10 hours of uninterrupted play.

However, if you want to “three-star” (or in this case, “three-egg”) the levels, that takes considerably longer and adds at least another 15 hours to the gameplay.

With future updates planned, I have no doubt they’ll unlock a host of new levels later this year, but for the meantime if you’re looking for a highly entertaining game with stunning graphics and cleverly thought-out, addictive gameplay, you can’t go wrong with BADLAND.

Final Verdict: 9/10

-ST