Competition time here on TFW boys and girls and this week I’m offering up a R1 000 iTunes voucher to one lucky reader who is able to KLAP the challenge I’m about to set you guys.
So, here’s the dealy-o. King Price Insurance is the only insurance company that actually decreases your car insurance premiums month by month.
Their reasoning behind doing this is simple, it’s a fact that cars are a depreciating asset so in other words the older your car gets, the less it’s worth, so why should your insurance premiums increase month by month, that doesn’t make any damn sense!
You guys might have seen their ad on TV but if not, here it is:
I did some reading up about King Price before I wrote this post and I must say, they seem pretty legit.
Their business model works because the main strategy driving their business is client retention, which means keeping their clients happy and giving them exceptional service rather than sneakily pushing their premiums up year after year.
HOWEVER, on to the matter at hand, the R1 000 iTunes voucher King Price is offering one of you lucky basterds.
Here’s how the competition works – you need to post a comment below of no more than three sentences explaining how you think King Price gets away with decreasing their premiums month by month.
Let my main man Karl from the video be your inspiration when writing your comment.
In other words, the funniest, craziest, most original comment (as judged by me) will win the voucher.
To get you guys started, here’s an example I just cooked up:
King Price are able to decrease their insurance premiums every month because the ous don’t have to spend any money on electricity at any of their branches. Instead, they connect gym machines to a generator and invite buff charnas to KLAP IT 24/7 – instant free electricity boet!
Easy peasy Japanesey.
Today is Tuesday. On Friday I’ll choose my winner.
Got it? Cool. You can enter a maximum of three times, so if you’re not happy with your first two attempts, you’re welcome to post a third, but more than three and I’ll automatically delete them.
Go get ‘em Tigers 
-ST
They have somehow managed to register their business as a religion and are use their tax exempt status to benefit the people. The people, that is, who believe in their superiority. The rest are doomed to burn in the fires of inflation.
*using, first sentence 🙁
The ous at King Price reduce their premiums by forcing the moffies at other insurance companies to push their prices up because they don’t ever klap it nearly as hard enough as the boychays at King Price nor are they as tanned enough to lower their prices and get away with it.
King Price can afford to decrease their premiums month by month because they also moonlight as a sangoma, Dr. King Price. They advertise everywhere – via pamphlets, posters, Gumteee – about their services of bringing back lost lovers, getting you that promotion, organising ‘short boys’ to bring you money and much more. As you can imagine, lots (I mean LOTS) of people make use of their unique services, so this alternate revenue stream brings in a truckload of cash and that’s why they can afford to decrease premiums.
King Price can obviously afford to decrease their premiums every month because they’re running their business cheaply and smartly. And by this I mean, using a free OS like Linux; using open-source software like Google Docs; and sitting at McDonalds for free WiFi, therefore not paying hefty license or connectivity fees! In the end, win-win for ALL!
King price digs to lose money like the greek and cypriot economies.
King Price are bankrolled by the authors of the Twilight series and 50 Shades of Grey. These authors realise that they unleashed faecal matter in book form upon the world and want to make amends to humanity somehow for these unspeakable acts of literary terrorism. So they’re starting in SA first by linking up with King Price to provide insurance premiums for the people that decrease month by month.
Thanks to their low premiums King Price win customers away from other insurance companies. King Price takes the sweet tears from shed by the other insurance companies to power gigantic hydroelectric turbines and resell the electricity to Eskom at gigantic premiums. They use this cash to further lower their premiums and win new customers.
King Price is run by hippie aliens. Lovely, generous, red people from the other side of the Universe who have adopted the motto “Peace…and (almost, but never quite) free insurance” and live exclusively on the nutrition offered through siphoning large quantities of cosmic radiation through white bread. Who needs lots of money when you’re high on Gamma Rays anyway?
King Price Insurance offices is an empty room barring three comfortable lazy boys and a row of portable phones. The staff are not allowed to sit down (or bend over backwards any fancy chairs like some other insurance companies expect), and pace the floor all day long taking calls. Their incentive : signing up the most new accounts gets your bum in prime position on the lazy boys for the next month. More customers = more premiums = lower premiums for all!
King Price are able to decrease their insurance premiums every month because back in 1989 they managed Nicholas Cage’s contracts which stated, “For every movie Mr. Cage stars in, we will reduce our premiums by 0.1%”. As a result, since 2011 they’ve reduced their premiums by 34.9%.
Alrighty Party People, the competition is officially CLOSED!
Tune in on Monday when I announce the winner (sorry, I know I said it would be today, but I have to put some serious thought into this, some great entries to sift through…)
-ST
King Price decreaseS premiums month by month because like Sweet Brown says, “Aint nobody got time for dat!” when it comes to ever increasing premiums. The money to bankroll this venture is coming from the lawsuit Sweet Brown has files against Apple for using her image without her consent.