Them's Fightin' Words

Your Tiger pal was fortunate enough to get invited to a premier of the new James Bond film Skyfall on Tuesday night by the Hunter’s Dry brand team and man-o-man did they get it right!

I’ve been to three events at the Nu Metro cinema Prive this year and of all three, Tuesday night’s shindig was the best because Hunter’s stuck to a couple of simple rules that can literally make or break an event.

Namely, if you’re hosting an event after work, serve lots of food. The Hunter’s team not only did this, but they also kept the free Hunter’s flowing. So the start of the evening was awesome – they showed us the new Hunter’s Dry advert, people clapped, it was great. Then Skyfall started…

 

 

Just so we’re clear right from the get-go, I’m not the world’s hugest Bond fan but to be perfectly frank, I don’t know anyone who is.

Bond movies are an unstoppable force of nature. Part of me admires the franchise for churning out movie after movie after movie (Skyfall is the 23rd Bond film in a series that spans exactly 50 years) and part of me wishes they wouldn’t.

The main problem I had with Skyfall is that the answer to the central question the movie asks, namely “does the world need James Bond?” is answered so half-heartedly, it left me asking the question “do I care?”

To its credit, Skyfall does introduce one new twist into the James Bond story which I’m pretty sure the franchise hasn’t touched on in the past – ol’ Jimmy-boy is (IRONY ALERT!) getting old.

 

 

After a botched mission in the beginning of the film, Bond goes into a kind of self-imposed retirement and, predictably, things at MI6 go completely to shit when an enemy operative gets hold of all the secret identities of MI6’s agents and starts offing them one by one.

Never one to stand idly by and watch the bad guys win, Bond gets back on the dead horse and starts flogging it for all its worth through one meritless scene after the next.

When the film’s villain (played by Javier Bardem) was revealed in a bizarre, homo-erotically charged scene, my give-a-fuck switched over from “some” to “none whatsoever” as it quickly became apparent how badly Bardem’s character, Raoul Silva, is modelled on Heath Ledger’s Joker in The Dark Knight.

 

 

In simple terms, Skyfall is 143 minutes of fence-sitting. The film touches on Bond getting old and questions are raised as to whether or not he  is fit for service and then, three scenes later he’s performing athletic feats that would put most Olympians to shame.

M is hauled in front of a public inquiry to investigate whether she is fit for service, the answer of which, after the inquiry itself is attacked by Silva’s goons, is a resounding “no”, despite her impassioned recital of some moving poetry.

Bond’s past is mentioned, as are his unresolved childhood issues from losing his parents and being trained as a secret operative from a young age, but the film’s solution to these issues is to have Bond return to his ancestral home and blow the place to kingdom come.

 

 

As for Bardem, he comes across as more silly than menacing as a villain and delivers a muddled performance that left me confused as to whether I was supposed to feel sympathy or repulsion toward his laughably flamboyant character.

Daniel Craig is as stone-faced as ever in his portrayal of Bond and was almost terminally incapable of landing any of Bond’s weak one-liners. Sure, that’s more due to poor scripting than Craig himself, but I still felt like something was lacking in his portrayal of 007.

Where is the Bond he brought to the screen in Casino Royale? Where is that lovable, poker-playing rogue that had more swag than all the other Bonds put together? 

 

 

Instead Craig played the weariest Bond I think the franchise has ever seen, which I think was the whole point so credit where it’s due, but as I’ve already mentioned, I think they could have done so much more with that idea than just have him look hungover in some scenes and fail a few physicals.

I could go on but I’d just be picking holes in the film for the sake of it. If you’re some kind of Bond junkie then by all means go and see this film and let me know what you think.

If not, avoid paying to see this movie at all costs. The abundant product placement alone will probably cover the production costs of this film which is why I feel no remorse in thoroughly recommending that you raid Pirate Bay / a buddy’s hard drive for this movie and watch it only if you’ve exhausted all your other options.

Final Verdict: 4/10

-ST