Charnas, ask any flippin oke with half a brain and he’ll tell you straight that when it comes to the most prestigious athletic event in the world, nothing, and I mean NOTHING can beat MTN GLADIATORS!
Lemme tell you, those flippin okes trains sometimes up to five times A WEEK and is capable of taking huge levels of STEROIDS that would kill a normal ou in three seconds.
But of course, as history tells us, back in 1998 the DOOSES in TV land decided to cancel MTN GLADIATORS the first time and charnas were like "What the flip are we gonna watch now?!" And so the TV land dooses invented the Olympics, which are ok, but KAK in comparison to MTN GLADIATORS.
So anyway, I was trying to find the weightlifting ous yesterday when the next thing I knowed there was all these flippin skinny okes in SPEEDOS splashing around like a buncha moffies in the pool and I was like "What the KAK is this?! Not one of these ous knows how to KLAP IT!"
The reason of course was because none of the ous were SEFRICANS. When eventually a Sefrican ou stood up on his box to jump in the water, I took one look at the pecs on that charna and was like, "Jis-LAAIK! THAT boychay is the buffest IN THE LAND!"
I mean, he was no GRANITE, or WILDEBEEST or even SAHARA (BELTER!), but ja. He was ok. He looked like a nice ou, the kind I wouldn’t mind klapping a few brandy-cokes with and then hugging later.
But anyway, after that I watched this BUFF CHARNA tear through the water like a flippin WATER MISSILE, destroying the other ous in a embarrassing display of flippin’ UNSTOPABLE POWER!
This charna (who has the name of CAMERON VAN DER BURGH) was klapping it so fast that he even swimmed past the YELLOW RECORD LINE, which means he not only came first, but also breaked the flippin’ Olympic record AT THE SAME TIME!
A ou like that, lemme tell you, is right now as I right this, belting AT LEAST THREE blonde Olympic belters AT THE SAME TIME in the secret Olympic SEX CAMP they have to breed super athletes so that they can bring back MTN GLADIATORS!
Cameron, charna, thank you for klapping that race yesterday boet, you made us proud SEFRICANS that not only can a fellow SEFRICAN KLAP IT ON THAT LEVEL, but also that soon there will be a new breed of athletes that will make the X-MEN look like a buncha hipster moffies who never lifted a weight in their life.
And Cameron, one last thing, if you could please belt a chick who can run very fast that would be schweet. Then that kid will be able to run very fast UNDERWATER, which will be a essential skill in the new version of MTN GLADIATORS I’m thinking of…
Anyway, Cameron you legend, all there is left to say is YOU KLAPPED IT BOET!
Well flippin done!
-ST
