Them's Fightin' Words

It was only natural that after personal email accounts were invented, some genius would figure out a way to send an email, with the click of one button, to an address that goes to everyone in the office.

It’s a brilliant way to share innocuous jokes, engage in some inter-office banter or remind everyone that the office email address is NOT for sharing jokes or wasting everyone’s time with inter-office banter.

Thanks to all@xxx.xxx addresses at the various companies I’ve worked for, I’ve been sent countless emails about animals that need homes, been schooled time and time again about Jesus and been sent life-changing emails like this one.

This one’s called “Tips To Make Your Life Easier” and thanks to these tips, my life is now too awesome to handle.

 

Tip #1:

A tip for holiday packing. Store shoes inside shower caps to stop dirty soles rubbing on your clothes. And you can find them in just about every hotel!

 

 

Are you actually serious?! Best. Tip. Ever. Put your shoes in a shower cap and they somehow magically appear in “just about every hotel”!

The minute I read this I raced home and covered all my shoes in shower caps. I have yet to go to a hotel since doing this, but if the internet can be trusted, I’m pretty sure I’ll find all my shoes there.

 

Tip #2:

A muffin pan becomes a craft caddy. Magnets hold the plastic cups down to make them tip-resistant.

 

 

This is super-neat because up until now I’ve been using an old egg carton for my craft caddy and thus the cup size for my paintbrushes, scissors, crayons and fruit pastilles has been severely limited.

The only problem with this tip is that now that my baking tray is full of useful junk, it made tip #3 a little tricky…

 

Tip #3:

Turn your muffin pan upside down, bake cookie-dough over the top and voila – you have cookie bowls for fruit or ice-cream.

 

 

See, I tried this tip and while it did make some pretty amazing cookie bowls, all my craft utensils melted into this toxic, multi-coloured gloop on the bottom of my oven, producing a thick, black smoke that stained the roof of our flat so badly the landlord says he’s keeping our deposit.

Still, the cookie bowls were awesome. Even if they did taste a little of melted plastic and resulted in us having to be rushed to the emergency room.

Yum!

 

Tip #4:

Win friends at breakfast with this heart-shaped egg tutorial. Aww shucks!

 

 

For the longest time, I’d finish up a hearty breakfast feeling nourished physically, but completely empty and unfulfilled emotionally.

It was then that I realised it was because I wasn’t winning friends at breakfast!

With this handy tip, I win friends all the time now. Why, just the other day I was talking to one of the recent friends I’ve won, reminiscing about how we first met in a crowded restaurant and how, using nothing more than a rubber band I carry around with me everywhere I go, a chopstick and a rectangular piece of paper, I mangled 5 hard boiled eggs trying to make an egg / boat thing that I then cut in half to create egg hearts so I could win his friendship!

“Ha ha. Yeah…” he said, thinking back on that day, “I hate you.”

 

Tip #5:

Bread tags make the perfect-sized cord labels.

 

 

Ever since I started using this tip, all that endless confusion about which cable belongs to my mouse and which one powers my laptop is finally over!

Now I come to work confident in the knowledge that no longer will I waste the first hour of my day trying to plug my mouse into the power cable hole and vice versa, hooray!

I hope you guys find these five tips as useful as I did and share them with friends and family to make their lives easier too.

Send this post on now to 5 people and an amazing thing will happen in your life!

Send it on to 10 and you will be magically granted the ability to fly and shoot lasers out of your eyes and send it to 20 or more and you will win so much money, you’ll be richer than God!

-ST