Ma boychays (and BELTERS)!
Remember lank long ago when I first spotted a charna wearing retro moffie socks in Wembley Virgin only to spot ANOTHER charna doing the same thing a coupla days later?
And then a coupla days after that, the crave went MENTAL all thanks to me?
Ja, well now the head CEO of the whole of Virgin, my good buddy Richard Brandson (or Dicky-B as I like to call him when we’re on his yot surrounded with BELTERS) has sent me a personal LETTER asking if he can use my idea for Virgin Active!
Here’s the letter he sent:
Hi Slicky-T,
I were reading your absolutely mind-bloggingly great site the other day and came upon a great thought for all my Virgin Active gyms the whole of South Africa over that I belief will be great!
What about if we used your very amazingly clever idea of the “moffie socks†as you call them (here in England (land of the Queen) they are knowed as “legwarmersâ€) and the superb-human strength they create in a man (or a women) as the bases for an attire new class that guys can do in a Virgin gym!
My marketing department has thought up of the great name which is called “Retro Aerobics†for these new classes, but don’t worry! I have already sent you a check for about $5 000 000 for letting me use this great idea, well done!
Keep on klapping it and please come back and stay on one of my trpoical island bases again sometime soon but please switch the gas off this time we don’t want another insident like what happened the last time when you burned down the house down and Kate had to save my mom you rascal!
“Kief ma boychie!â€
“Klap it Boet!â€
Your pal,
Dicky-B
I couldn’t belief my ears when I read that letter?! Hey?! Dicky-B thinks I caused the fire at his house when everyone knows it was flippin KATE who leaved the gas on!
Anyway, after much debilitation I decided to go to my loyers with this kak as it was clearly MY IDEA about the Retro Aerobics and ME who created the moffie socks crave and discovered their secret powers and I don’t think $5 000 000 is enough payment for such a flippin’ JENIUS IDEA!
But it’s all kief and sorted now. I got TWICE what Dicky offered inishally, $2 500 00! Which just goes to show okes, if you have a dream, don’t sit around like a asshole spraying yourself with a lekker tan all day and getting it on the couch and ruining the kief new vest you got at a Mr Price sale (2 for double the price of one!) and smashing tuna into your face while you watch last nite’s episode of 7nd Laan again in case you missed anything the first time, go out there and KLAP IT BOET!
Now I can proudly say there is a Virgin class named after me and if you don’t belief me, here are pics that proof it!
So go klap a Retro Aerobics class TODAY and when they ask you, tell them the INVENTOR of the class, Slicky-T sent you.
Later CHARNAS!
-ST
If Richard BranDson asks you for a small deposit (or ten) to release the $5 000 000 then ask him what the weather is like in Nigeria (or Hillbrow). And tell him to get a spell checker 🙂
That’s flippin’ WEIRD, I asked him and he said the weather in Nigeria is pretty kieff today with a slight forecast of rain later.
Huh. He must be opening a new club there or something. Flip, but that oke gets around, I just have to give him my banking details, ID no. physical address, birth certificate, three months payslips, bank statements, ID photos and fingerprints and I’m gonna be LANK rich ma charna!
-ST