Jogging is shit. No one really wants to put on their little jogging shorts and lace up their R800 jogging shoes and venture out into the world for a jog and anyone that says otherwise is clearly delusional.
Jogging, experts will tell you, was invented to help humans run the fuck away from things that were trying to eat us. It served a clear purpose thousands of years ago but nowadays, unless you’re trying to outrun the police, jogging is a bit naf.
BUT, there’s a new iPhone / iPod Touch / Android app that’s going to change all that. To put it simply, it’s a game you play by running… AWAY FROM FUCKING FLESH EATING ZOMBIES!
That’s right folks, early next year you’ll be able to hit this link and download Zombies, Run! They’re calling it an “ultra-immersive†running game which plays out in your headphones while you’re running.
The further you go, the more objectives you achieve and the more stuff you collect. Then, when you’re back home you can decide what to do with all your booty as you assign various items you collect (medicine, ammo, batteries, etc.) to different people and parts of your growing base.
You can choose custom playlists to listen to while you’re running and learn more about the “deeper mystery†of the Zombies, Run! world.
The only thing they don’t touch on is what happens if you don’t run fast enough. You can apparently hear zombies at certain points in your run, but do they ever catch up to you? What does zombies eating your brains sound like?
We’ll have to wait for the app to launch to have those burning questions answered, but in the meantime you better hit that treadmill like your life depends on it because jogging is going back to its roots – trying to outrun shit that wants to eat you.
So. Bad. Ass.
-ST
