Hazit ma boychies!
Flip okes, but the response to my last piece about KLAPPING GYM BOET was off the flippin’ chain! I’m seriously CHUFFED that so many charnas out there care so much about getting TANNED, MASSIVE and RIPPED, WEARING TIGHT VESTS and LOOKING TIT (thanks Gary)!
The next question charnas seems to be asking now is how do you know a chick and her mate are BELTERS? What if you think a chick’s a BELTER and you BANG her and her friend only to wake up the next day once the roids have worn off to find you banged a couple of GROT OTTERS by mistake?
Another charna who is MASSIVE and RIPPED sent in this pic, asking, ‘Haai Slick! I banged this chick and her friend from the gym after getting MASSIVE and RIPPED, are they belters or what charna!’
All I can say to a question like that is flip oke, ARE YOU STUPID? What the hell were you THINKING?!
These are the unhealthiest chicks I have EVER SEEN! Did they die from malnutritionment after you were finished BANGING them? They’re WASTING AWAY oke! The one’s not even blonde enough and needs to PULL UP HER FLIPPIN PANTS and KLAP SOME GYM BOET!
When I said blonde belters, I meant BLONDE BELTERS charna! Now if you’d banged THESE two chicks, THEN I’d be IMPRESSED ma boych!
Of course now a lot of you will look at these BELTERS and notice that ja, something’s not quite right with the chick on the right. OF COURSE SOMETHING’S NOT QUITE RIGHT WITH THAT CHICK! SHE HAS NO TAN!
HERE’S a much better example of how a healthy tan can turn an ordinary chick into a BELTER:
And so, here are a few tips for all the MASSIVE and RIPPED charnas out there about the right kind of things to look for in a BELTER.
THING NO. 1 TO LOOK FOR IN A BELTER: LADYLIKE
I can tell you right now that being a oke who is MASSIVE and RIPPED myself, I often hang around with chicks that yes, are BELTERS, BUT just don’t know how to act like ladies instead of GORILLAS.
These GROT OTTERS think it’s lekker to do things like SMOKE, SWEAR, EAT CARBS or only do gym six times a week. They also think it’s kief to just say whatever the hell THEY WANT without first asking a man’s PERMISSION – NOT ACCEPTABLE!
OKES, this is not LADYLIKE BEHAVIOUR. If a blonde chick or her blonde chick friend try any of this, choon them straight, ‘Hey GROT OTTER! Stop acting like a flippin’ TRAILER PARK TRASH! You aren’t BRITTANY SPIERS!’
A chick must be ladylike at all times or THAT’S IT! Tell her to HIT THE ROAD CHICK. Here’s a ladylike chick to show you what I mean:
THING NO. 2 TO LOOK FOR IN A BELTER: NAUGHTY
Okes, please don’t think that just because a chick is LADYLIKE in public, she can’t have a bit of a naughty or fun side as well behind a closed doors. No charna wants a chick and her blonde belter friend in the bedroom who aren’t a bit wild or don’t know their way around a tube of KY Jelly, a traffic cone and a car battery with lekker nipple-clamps.
Check this chick out. She was an ex of mine. Jealous yet? Ja, EXACTLY!
There is ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with a chick like that okes, NOTHING. So why did we break up? Ja, it’s a bit of a sensitive topic hey… I dunno… life just took us in separate directions. I mean, I’m not saying that I caught her KLAPPING GYM behind my back or using my credit card to have KAKLOADS OF EXPENSIVE SURGERY or anything, so ja…
BUT, THE NEXT DAY I found pictures on the interweb of an even NAUGHTIER BELTER, Chrissie, and let’s just say that she had the pleasure of some SlickTiger boerrie with cheese sauce THAT night 😉
THING NO 3. TO LOOK FOR IN A BELTER: OUTDOORS TYPE
A BELTER must also like the outdoors life of tanning for 7 hours straight, jetskis, H2O parties, doof doof music and klapping gym IN THE GARDEN.
Don’t believe me that such amazing BELTERS exist? Boet, open your EYES charna! They’re ALL OVER the interweb!
What’s also nice is when they do outdoor activities like WASH MY CAR. Here’s another ex-cherry of mine, in a lekker bikini doing a practise run of WASHING MY CAR. Always make them PRACTISE FIRST or they’ll probably BREAK the car.
THING NO. 4 TO LOOK FOR IN A BELTER: A WINNING ATTITUDE
Now okes, this is an important one so don’t stuff this one up. Too many of my charnas get with girls who NEVER STOP COMPLAINING when us gym boychies leave self-tan on the couch, make huge PROTEIN BAFFS, or shoot so many steroids our chelogers go INSIDE US.
To all those okes stuck in kak relationships like that out there, I have only one thing to say: DUMP THOSE LOSER GROT OTTERS AND FIND A CHICK WITH THE RIGHT ATTITUDE!
THIS chick, for example, you can tell has a GREAT attitude.
So charnas, stop settling for second-rate chicks, you’re MASSIVE and RIPPED now! You look TIT oke! Flippin’ go in for the big time and bang two flippin HOT blonde belters now that you know what to look for!
Also, if you’d like to send pictures or videos as proof that’s also fine. I’ve still got plenty of pink heart stickers left, so DON’T BE SHY, send me some lekker pics and always remember: KLAP IT BOET!
Until next time ma boychies!
-ST
YASSIS but this is well TIT! (thanks Gary)
I KLAPPED GYM this morning boet but I was blerrie stoopid and was smaaking on this cherrie that I coulda used to floss my teeth CHARNA!
Definitely going BACK during lunch for some of those seasoned COUGARS before they pick up their sprogs. BACK TO THE FUTURE!
STAY TANNED SLICK!
Must have been a task to try to get a boner after writing this post. That’s dedication.
That third picture – is that a photo of The Maen in a wig? #Totallylookslike
Bugger, I wish I looked that good in a wig 🙂 hawt daaaaamn those chicks are BELTERS!
Charnas you need to tussle over the belters and don’t worry I’ll be the pal who looks after the Otters (ie top 2 examples in post. I got your back boet just klap those belters.
As the book of Arnie (3:15) tells us: “And The Hulk said ‘Let there be klapping the gym boet’ and, like fuck, there was chanas grunting and belters everywhere klapping it hard boet.
I’m getting a semi-chubbie just thinking of all the BELTERS i’m gonna nail. I found a schweet deal on tan if you’re too much of a moffie to sit outside or on a sunbed – http://www.pro-tan.co.uk/
JASSIE BOET U LIKE A FLIPPIN CHAMPION OR WAT!!!1
Yassie okes, those belters are first-class!
Hey ST, I love the klap gym blogs they are amazing, im in res and all the guys read your stuff, please keep it coming this stuff is brillaint
Hazit Charlton!
Kief ma boych, glad you enjoy the ‘Klapping’ posts as much as I enjoy writing them boet! I’m already as we speak thinking up the next one charna, so tell your mates to watch this space hey!
-ST
To whom it may concern.
I’m not sure if this website is a joke or not, but I want to tell you all that hard work and gym take dedication and hard work and the results I see in my body and in my private life. (Which I might add is hectic and hard work!!)
You may be laughing at these beautiful girls on the outside but I can tell you straight that they are as beautiful on the inside as out.
I work out a LOT and keep myself healthy but suplimenting my gym workouts with a health dose of protien shakes, 24 eggs, energy bars, RedBull, Vitaimns, 6 full meals a day, no carbs ever (Cows eat carbs and we should eat cows that’s how you get the right carbs) and high quality injectable suppliments. I’ll also let you know that a healthy dose of sunshine gives you Vitamin D so I spend 1 hour per day tanning and doing my mediation so that I don’t klap little pricks who irritate me by thinking they hot stuff and wearing vests when they have no sholders.
Also “SlickTiger” I think I know who you are. You that moffie who hangs out at the water fountain at the ViginActive in Boksberg chooning all the chicks in your Tiger Print. Not so clever now that we all know its you/. Next time spend some more time working on your nickname as you should in the gym really klapping gym like I’m going to klap you.
Thanks but no thanks.
Your faithfully,
Riaan.
Charna! Don’t come here chooning a oke like that, please man, come off it. We on the same team, are you STUPID?!
Oke, I KNOW hard work and gym take hard work, flip man! I INVENTED hard work, dedication, gym and hard work! And I know the inside of a BELTER is beautiful ma boych, I’ve been there MANY TIMES charna, many times…
As for your detectivation skills, they are SPOT ON charna! SPOT ON! So how about the next time you see me by the water fountain you stop being a moffie yourself and come say hazit so we can klap some gym TOGETHER!
Kief.
-ST
Hi ST,
I think I owe everyone an appology, and for me this is not an easy thing to do. I spoke to the guy at the VirginActive last night who I thought was you. His name is Kane and he’s a personal trainer. That’s why he flippin doesn’t do anything in the gym and choons all the chicks. Those okes never work out properly.
Anyway after he explained that he never goes near a computer and comes from Durbs I realised that I might have made a mistake. Sorry to you, and sorry to Kane for giving him a big scare. He didn’t find it funny at first, but we are friedns. We trained out the sesson, he gave me a deep burn massage and we chatted for a while. Maybe we going to catch a flick on Sat night. Not in a gay way either. He knows I don’t like Moffies.
Anyway, thanks but this time thanks. For real.
I think I found a good friend.
Riaan.
Eish charna… you just don’t get this, do you?
@Riaan Bring it boet, you think that’s tiger print? It’s actually the blood stains from the last okes who tried to kalp me but got KLAPPed back. Jusssis oke, you don’t come here and threaten us with your diet. I inject steroid straight in my eye while klapping meisies elke dag. If I saw you in the gym, I’d bench you three times (tight rep) then right out the window. I’ll turn you in to the waterfountain while you piss yourself when you see me and my krew coming down the halld (single file, we don’t fit side by side because we’re so huge)!
brilliant!!
24 eggs, energy bars…
what else do u add to that cocktail boet?
“Cows eat carbs and we should eat cows that’s how you get the right carbs”
Right there, class. Nuf said. Klap those cows stukkend boet!
Love your work charna!
@Riaan … Talk to the hand charna.
Thanks but no thanks.
Howzit charnas, jasis those BELTERS are klapping it LANK. One issue though, Slick, charna, that chick with the rocks, she’s actually holding that cliff up that’s how much she’s KLAPPING it, boet.
ST my mahnnn !!!
I need to council you, after leaving Rikki???
Although Cliff hanger could go down a treat!!
that said…..SPOT ON !
And remember KLAP IT………
PS sorry mahnnn!!
wheres my manners….?
Congratulations on CHRIS ( she looks lekka NAUGHTY )
Slick, charna- me and my mates are digging these klap gym vibes ey, boetress! Keep them coming boet-okes are chooning left right and centre bout’ you.
Boy, is 3 eggs and a roast chicken salad in the mornings good enough cos okes are chooning that I’m not getting HUGE anymore…?
Charna, I just wanna thank you for all your advice- picked up this belter of a blonde last night boet( perfectly mannered and wild too)- not nearly as hot as Rikki tho..
Sweet chei. Carry on Klappin it!
Let me know.
Tyron
Jassis boet
I would be lying if I said that my charnas and I are not so amped on your ‘klapping it’ posts that it keeps us up at night ( which isnt a bad thing, it gives us more time to KLAP IT )
I have lost count of how many times Iv read both posts because I dont have that many fingers or toes
But slick , my man, I would like to how one would go about picking up a cougar? I know you are an oak who knows lots of oaks who have klapped many belters AT THE SAME TIME, so your mind is a well of knowledge on the matter, but my goals are set higher. Iv klapped it and klapped it but sadly cougars are fiesty and just seem to play hard to get with me.
Help me out ST
much love boetjie.
Charna! Flip oke, you came this close to having me DELETE this comment boet. “Check this oke!” I told my charnas, “he wants to flippin belt some kind of ANIMAL! He’s into flippin’ beastialisation or some kak, is he stupid or something!”
Luckily my charnas are down with “the lingo” and explained to me that a cougar is actually a chick who’s a BELTER, but just a older one. There’s nothing wrong with a older belter ma boych, NOTHING WRONG… except sometimes it feels like throwing a flippin’ cocktail sausage down a passage…
But anyway, to belt a cougar you need to seriously up your game oke – 6 STEAKS A DAY! GYM 8 DAYS A WEEK! HOURLY dangerous anabolic steriod injections EVERY HOUR!
Ja… that should about do it hey charna? Lemme know how that works for you oke.
Klap it!
-ST
Bam Bam China
These FLUFFS are right up my back alley, OOHOOOO GHOT (with a GRRRRR) I blow for the CHICKIE with the GUNS!! Nothing like going to DOS with A LOADED GUN. Keep the post coming MY BRU. Lovin IT.
CRUST
Yisslike charna, flipin hectic bru. Have you okes flippin checked out pumping iron, the schweet film on arnie? I like cry wank to that shit every friday night when the other okes are going out and drinking beer and I am on my low carb diet (carbs are the fucking enemy charna)…just a tip for the boytjies.
Schweet okes
Jissus boet, I’ve had bigger kaks than those first two cherries. I was klapping gym tonight and getting MASSIVE AND RIPPED, but after RAGING HARD on the juise I also got a RAGING HARD ON so I opened my computer and started the internets. I found this blog when I opened my googles and tuned “FUCKOFF MASSIVE BLONDE BELTERS”. I needed a pluk so whipped out my porksword when I saw Rikki. I have fingers like banger sausages so I can pluk with like two fingers on my shriveled one-eyed yoghurt slinger. Then I found this video and this belter called Sydney tunes us about her Tec-9. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yryV-5TfwvE Boych, I shot my load so HARD I spoefed on the screen. Looks like it got hit by the yoghurt truck charna.
Keep klapping it boet!
Rex Kwando: Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
Charna, Rex and I go WAY back. Who you think hooked him up with Starla? Rex is a flippin’ LEGEND for going home with Starla every night, jassis, so jealous of that oke… If only I had the American flag pant…
Tell Rex I say howzit the next time you see him.
Klap it!
-ST
Who knew a dude called Riaan could be hilarious?
Yussie bru, these belters made my raisins tinkle!