I didn’t go into Iron Man 2 the same way I’d go into just any movie, no. I went into Iron Man 2 with a pretty specific list of things I wanted to see that went like this:
- Explosions
- Wide-scale destruction
- Dudes in metal suits bashing the shit out of each other
- Robert Downey JR being smarmy
- More explosions
- Sexy bitches
- Radioactive flying dinosaurs (in retrospect, maybe not a very realistic expectation)
- Mickey Rourke fucking shit up and being badass
- Did I mention explosions?
- Explosions
And let me just say that hell yeah! Iron Man 2 delivered on pretty much all fronts (except one).
Iron Man director Jon Favreau takes the director’s seat once again on Iron Man 2, and he does a damn fine job of it, bringing all the energy, humour and action to the sequel that made the first movie such a hit.
Story-wise it picks up at the exact moment where Iron Man left off, with Tony Stark telling the world his secret identity, a confession that opens up a whole can of worms for poor ol’ Tones while simultaneously reminding us why superheroes should always keep that shit on the down lizzo yo.
Before he knows what’s hit him, the American government is trying to get its greedy paws on the Iron Man suit because “other nations will try and copy its design†and when they do, the American government want to be the ones calling the shots.
Yeah, whatever. Everyone knows they only wants to get its hands on the suit because it’s fucking cool and chicks dig it. Although little do they know that the paladium core inside the ARC reactor in Stark’s chest is actually slowly poisoning him to death. I liked that little twist. Irony is rad.
Anyway, predictably someone does copy the design. Enter Ivan Vanko (aka Whiplash) played by Mickey Rourke, who shows up wearing a kind of leather and steel gimp suit with glowing electric whips attached which he then uses to pretty much destroy EVERYTHING in a seriously cool scene at the F1 track in Monaco.
Throw in Don Cheedle in an Iron Man suit suped up with enough firepower to take down an entire fleet of jet fighter planes, Scarlett Johansson in the most bitchin’, curve-huggin’ leathers you ever did see, Sam Rockwell (I fucking LOVE Sam Rockwell) trying to out-smarmy Downey JR and of course, Mr ‘I-shall-strike-down-upon-thee-with-great-vengeance’ himself, Samuel L Jackson as Nick Fury and you’ve got all the makings of a really solid movie.
Just don’t go in there expecting mind-blowing plot twists or deep and philosophical forays into the nature of humankind and you’ll probably really enjoy Iron Man 2. What it lacks sometimes in plot, it makes up for in acting talent, visual effects and action sequences, all of which were the life-blood of the first movie.
The only thing that disappointed me about the film was the fact that Scarlette Johansson was almost completely superfluous to the bigger story except for one brutal action sequence. Oh, and Gwyneth Paltrow, she was cute in the beginning, but kinda got on my nerves after awhile.
If you liked the original movie, you’ll like Iron Man 2. If you like action movies with dudes bashing the shit out of each other in badass metal suits, you’ll like Iron Man 2. And if you like big explosions and sexy bitches, you’ll like Iron Man 2.
As for the flying radioactive dinosaurs *spoiler alert* there aren’t any. But one day there will be and when that day comes, don’t come crying to me when your brain explodes from the awesomeness of 50 tons of flying radioactive DEATH.
Final Verdict: 7/10
I really didn’t think much of this film. You’re right, it had explosions, babes, more explosions and Mickey Rourke… but that’s about it.
A movie can only carry itself so far on those ingredients, but by the tenth clash of metal on metal, you’re starting to get who-gives-a-shit fatigue. I mean seriously, introduce threat, build threat up, see Iron Man unprepared to battle, see threat coming closer to Iron Man but never fast enough, see Iron Man scramble to get ready, fight scene ensues with the victor undoubtedly being Iron Man. BTW, from a design point of view, I think there is something inherently wrong with the Iron Man suit in that you can not see the wearer’s face during the action. Granted, there are a few close-up shots of projected data on the wearer’s face now and again, but there was never any real sense of danger.
Plotholes (many) aside, I thought Downey jr. was way too self-aware of his smarminess. He just came across as a cock. Like Johnny Depp in the first Pirates, he was charming, extroverted and endearing. By the second, he was trying too hard to be his character in the first and you were expected to like him, but seriously, the guy is a dick. And the script read like a first draft in many places. I think was trying really hard to be funny, but fell flat several times.
Ie:
(Scarlet Johansson acting all hot and stuff in front of Stark)
Pepper: Are you Googling her?
Stark: I thought I was ogling her.
(Cue audience laughter)
Um no, WTF?
Thank god though for Sam Rockwell stealing every scene (watch Moon if you haven’t seen it yet) and Mickey Rourke being rougher (in a good way) than a goat’s knee, this movie was for me an extended cut of the first with sub-par action sequences and an incoherent script that introduces characters simply for the sake of warming the audiences up for new Marvel franchises (The Avengers around the corner anyone?).
And seriously, what was up with all the fake tan?
5/10 (+1 for Sam Rockwell. -1 for Don Cheadle suddenly becoming a master of the Iron suit in about 2 seconds after putting it on.)
Hahhahhaha! Yeah, Don Cheadle mastering the Iron Man suit so quickly, I never thought about that but what the fuck?
Pretty solid critique dude… you ever thought about a career in writing free reviews for ‘Them’s Fightin’ Words?’
I can pay you in meatballs.
-ST
I will do anything for meatballs. Swedish ones.
Irony is cool.
Ha! I get it!
Hahaha! Oh ya!
I get it too now!
-ST
Civilian, you rocked that shi and so does Sam Rockwell (and of course so do you Slick)